What Was I Thinking? Ch. 01

Grunting, swearing and sweating, he reached back and gripped my ass checks pulling me into him. I allowed my full weight to slowly ease my cock into his ass. Slowly and steadily, I slid into him.

"Stop!" He suddenly yelled, when I nearly halfway in.

The urgency in his voice startled me.

"Alright. Okay." I soothed.

"Just wait. Wait." He grunted through clenched teeth.

Panting and turning his head from side to side, he started to rise up like he was going to push me off his back, but then seemed to change his mind.

"Fuck, this hurts!" He grumbled under his breath.

"You want me to take it out?"

"Just be still for a minute." He growled.

I was still. Nick buried his face in the pillow again, then turned his head to the side. Gently I kissed the side of his face and stroked his head. I seriously considered withdrawing from him. I didn't want to cause him anymore pain.

As I started to pull back, he moved with me preventing me from disengaging from him. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him up into a kneeling position which also impaled him further on my rod. With one loud exhalation of his breath, he took the rest of my cock up inside himself.

Almost immediately he began stroking his cock and moving up and down on my lap. When the sounds he was making started to sound less like hard work and more like pleasure, I gently urged him forward into a doggie-style position and began slowly fucking his ass. Already he was meeting my thrust with his butt.

He was still so incredibly tight that I had no trouble believing that I was indeed the first to break ground here. Whether it was true or not, the idea of being the first to open him up escalated my level of excitement and my hips took over. I started thrusting into him like a madman. There was no way to stop it now, my orgasm was nearly upon me. Then, like a tremendous crash of thunder, I exploded. Wave after wave of orgasmic bliss swept over me as I pounded his tight little butt. I lost all control as I jack-hammed Nick's asshole.

Before I knew it we were both up on our knees, his back pressed firmly to my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around him. My hips still pumping his backside. At that moment I needed him more than anything I'd ever needed before. I held onto him for dear life.

"Oh man, that's good." I heard Nick mutter quietly.

Suddenly, his entire body seized as he unloaded his tightly coiled balls. Spurt after spurt erupted from him as he leaned back into my chest. My hips continued to pump until I had to consciously will them to be still. I wasn't ready to stop.

Finally, Nick disentangled my arms, for I wasn't yet ready to relinquish his body and eased himself off my still hard cock. We lay there side by side, sweaty and exhausted.

After a while I suggested a shower and Nick agreed. There is more than enough room for four people in my glass block shower, so we got in together. Once we'd thoroughly cleaned ourselves, Nick noticed that I was hard again.

"Dude, that can't be normal." He said, indicating my condition.

"Oh, it'll go down as soon as you're either dressed or at least out of my direct line of sight." I told him.

"You sure know how to flatter a guy don't you?" He smiled.

After changing the sheets, we both lay there in the dark staring at the ceiling.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah."

In just a few minutes Nick was fast asleep, snoring lightly. I can never sleep well with anyone else in my bed. I've never been quite sure why.

Looking at him sleeping there reminded me of Jorge. The thought startled me and I quickly pushed it out of my mind.

I was able to doze for a few hours before I got up and made coffee. Nick slept rather late.

When he finally did awake, I was at my desk reading the morning paper.

"Hey." Nick said sleepily, emerging from my room.

"Hey yourself." I said. "There's coffee in the kitchen. I was going to make some breakfast but I then I remembered that I don't like to cook. Sorry."

"That's alright."

"There's cereal, pop tarts or if you want, you could cook up something up."

"Any juice?"

"In the fridge." I said. "Help yourself to anything you see in there."

I turned my attention back to the newspaper.

"Oh, I nearly forgot, your buddy came into the bar the other day." Nick said, sitting down next to my desk with a tall glass of juice.

"My buddy?"

"Yeah, that guy you used to come in with all the time."

"Oh?" I said casually, trying to maintain a neutral tone.

Of course he was talking about Jorge. I disliked thinking about him, it made me melancholy. What I really wanted to know was if he'd come in alone or with someone, but I didn't ask. It felt too much like an act of desperation.

"So what's the deal? You guys don't hang out together anymore? Nick asked.

"No, I suppose we don't." I shrugged, nonchalantly.

"Oh, I thought maybe you guys were still tight." He said. "What happened? Did he find out about you?"

I looked up from the paper at him. I almost laughed. He was probing. Perhaps testing the waters to see what was what.

"Find out about me?" I asked smiling.

"Yeah, that you're gay."

Now I did laugh.

"I object to being characterized as gay." I said.

It was his turn to laugh now.

"What would you call it then?" He chuckled.

"I don't know." I said. "But the word gay implies a lot of things that don't really apply to me."

"For instance?" He asked still chuckling.

"For instance, when people hear the word gay or bisexual, all of sudden they want to define you by a sexual identity rather than by who you actually are or who they perceived you to be before they heard that word.

"Lots of people hear the words gay or bisexual and immediately think of some mincing little fairy or some crusader who is out to make over the whole world in their queer image or some sort of sexual predator.

"Even if they've known you for a long time, some people can't help conjuring that image of an effeminate little weakling, out to jump the bones of every man they lay eyes on.

"There are lots of guys out there who don't identify with those words because they simply don't apply. Life is rarely as simple as the labels we tend to hang on people.

"Why do I have to wear any label at all. I'm just a guy. And there are millions of others out there just like me, who don't want to fit into some lame stereotype or preconceived notion of who they are or who they should sleep with.

"It seems ridiculous to exclude nearly half the population based on their gender. If someone is good to me, I'll be good to them and that's all that matters."

Nick's brow had clouded over while I rambled, but when he saw that I was finished his face brightened again.

"Are you done?" He asked.

I sighed in exasperation, shaking my head.

"No dude, I get it. A simple man with complex tastes." Nick chuckled. "Now can we move on?"

"That's a bit of an over simplification, but yeah, I suppose we can move on." I conceded.

"Jeez, lighten up, dude." He said, still smiling.

I scoffed again.

"Been waiting a long time to get that off your chest, have you?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Feel better?"

"A little." I laughed.

"So anyway, what did happen?" He prompted.

It took a moment for me to realize what he meant. I had rambled on for so that I'd forgotten what we were talking about.

"Did you make a move on him or something?" Nick asked.

"Of course not. I don't have any moves." I said truthfully. "Actually, we broke up."

"What do mean broke up?" Nick questioned. "You mean you guys were together-together?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, that's unbelievable." He said. "And you broke up?"

"Yep."

"I suppose in hindsight, I can see it. I mean, you never even looked at me twice when you came in with him."

"Dude, I'm telling you, I was not flirting with you."

"Whatever." He said with a dismissive gesture. "Why'd you break up?"

"Its complicated."

"Try me."

"Well, Jorge is was the head of the history department at the university where I used to teach a computer programming class. He's a brilliant man, speaks several languages fluently and has an amazing amount of knowledge on nearly everything. Yet he's very congenial about it, unlike most of those intellectual snobs who like to call themselves his peers or contemporaries.

"He's more like pop star than a dean at that school. Everyone loves him there, students and faculty alike.

"The amazing thing is that he's only a few years older than me. I suppose he's been on the fast track all of his life. He was already published several times over by the time he was twenty-five.

"Sounds like a hell of guy." Nick said.

"Yeah, I can't recall exactly how we met but we became friends. You know baseball games, drinking and hanging out. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"How long were you guys 'friends'?"

"A few years, I guess."

"So why'd you break up?"

"You know the guy I was talking to at the party last night, Jason? Well, he's the son of a very good friend of mine from back east. He was having some problems getting his life together, so it was decided that he's come out here and stay with me."

"No, I can't say that I remember him, I was a little preoccupied at the time, if you recall." Nick commented.

"Oh, well, anyway, he's a really good guy and I'd rather die than have him find this out, but Jorge took issue with him living here with me. And even though I assured him there was nothing going on between Jason and I, he remained unconvinced. I can't say that I blame him.

"Of course, there was just no way I was going to kick Jason out. His dad, Andrew, has done so much for me over the years. He was my boss at one time, but also a good friend and mentor. He's like a father to me in many ways. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for him.

"Andrew helped me and another guy broker a deal to sell a software package that we developed for a great deal of money to a large corporation. Thanks to him, I'm pretty much set for life.

"And there's also that fact that Jason really seemed to need me. I mean he was really floundering, aimless and headed for big trouble. There was really no question.

"And that was that. Jorge gave me an ultimatum and I haven't seen him since."

"Wow, I had no idea." Nick sympathized.

"Yeah well, whatever." I said, trying to sound like I was over it.

"And so you and Jason?"

"No, nothing like that." I said. "Well, actually there was some monkey business years ago, when I went back east for Andrew's last wedding, but I put an end to that before ever agreeing to let him come live with me."

"Those were the conditions, that there was to be no fooling around between us and that he finish grad school. So I took him under my wing, much like his father had done for me so many years before."

"And now?"

"Well, now he's got his own place, finished grad school and is quite the upstanding citizen. Of course, he still treats this place like his own and likes to tell people that I'm his older brother even though we look almost nothing alike.

"He's come a long way from the spoiled, little brat he was when I first met him. Andrew is very grateful. And I would do nearly anything for him."

"Well, sounds like you made the right choice."

Nick's eyes were studying me and starting to make me a little uncomfortable because I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Its still hard to believe that you guys were together. You both seemed so, I don't know, like regular guys." Nick said. "Sometimes you just never know."

I wanted to get off this topic. I was tired of thinking about Jorge and the past.

"Anyway," I said, "what about you?"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, I've gotta call and see if that place is still available." Nick said, suddenly distracted.

"What place?"

"Oh, I started looking around for another place about two weeks ago." Nick said. "I guess it was inevitable. Nicole's been out of control for a while now. Can I use your phone?"

Nick made a few quick calls and took off.

As soon as Nick was gone Jason showed up.

"Hey, you wanna go to the batting cages?"

"Yeah, let's go."

"Who was that on his way out when I was coming in?" Jason asked on the way out to my Jeep.

---

On the way to the batting cages Jason questioned me endlessly about Nick. He was so full of questions that I was hardly able to concentrate on my swing.

"Dude, I told you he's just a friend." I said, missing three balls in a row.

"Why does he look so familiar?" Jason asked.

"Do you see this bat? You know what I'm going to do with it if you don't stop bugging me don't you?"

"Why does he looks so familiar?" Jason asked.

"Alright, that's it! Out of here, out of the cage!" I ordered. "You're driving me crazy."

Later that evening Nick called and asked me to meet him at some seedy bar in the valley. I agreed. When I got there I didn't see him anywhere, so I hung around near the bar sipping a beer.

I was astonished when the band came on the stage. There was Nick standing up there with some other guys. They played a full set of cover songs with Nick singing lead and playing rhythm guitar. They were quite good.

When the set was over Nick joined me at the bar.

"I didn't know you were in a band."

"I'm not really. I just fill in when their singer isn't available." Nick said. "He's in like two other bands."

"You're really good."

"Thanks."

He introduced me to the good looking, Asian bass player and the extraordinarily handsome, black guy who'd been on the drums. The other guitar player was too busy with his groupies to be bothered.

"You guys got any original songs?" I asked.

"Yeah, but Nick's too busy to come to practice and learn them." Jack, the bass player said.

Kurt, the drummer told me where they'd be playing next. He was gorgeous and I had to force myself not to stare. In fact, they were all quite good looking. Not at all your typical band.

Nick followed me back to my place when the bar closed.

"Dude, I am very impressed." I said. "I didn't know you could sing like that."

"Yeah, well, I just do it to help those guys out. I don't really have any passion for it like they do." Nick said.

---

Some days later, I helped Nick move his belongings out of Nicole's apartment and into, of all places, a trailer park. Before then I hadn't known that Nick owned a motorcycle. I cleared a spot in my garage for him to park it and he drove his pickup.

"Not that there's anything wrong with it, but why'd you pick this place?" I asked.

"Well," he said, hefting a large duffle bag onto his shoulder, "I had to get out of Nicole's ASAP and this was fast, affordable and not too far from work."

"I see."

"Besides, wait until you meet the manager. He's kind of out there." He laughed.

The whole time we were moving his things in I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He was wearing tight jeans and t-shirt that seemed painted on his finely chiseled torso. Every time he bent over flexed in some way, I was enthralled by his masculine beauty and the adeptness in his simple movements. The way the sinews in his upper back and arms rippled, the way his butt muscles flexed, it was absolutely captivating.

When we were done Nick and I kicked back in his new digs and chugged a few beers.

He came over to where I was sitting on the counter top and stood right between my knees. For a minute he just stared at me, then he grabbed the back of my neck, pulled my head to his and kissed me.

"You wanna get it on, don't you?" He said, unfastening my belt. "I know you've been thinking about it all day."

"I have?" I asked.

"You have." He smiled. "You've had that look all day long. I could almost feel your eyes burning into my backside. There was one point when I think I saw a little drool in corner of your mouth."

"You're lying!"

We both laughed then kissed again.

Just then there was knock on the door, which startled both of us. Nick took a step back from me, composing himself and I tried to assume a nonchalant posture.

"Come on in, its not locked." Nick shouted.

The manager of the trailer park opened the door and came in. He dressed so androgynously, that at first I wasn't sure it was a guy. Then he started to speak and I knew he was man putting on a very effeminate falsetto voice.

"So, I see you're all settled in." He said, sashaying in the tiny little space of the trailer.

"Yep, all done." Nick smiled cordially. "Oh, this is Craig, a very good friend."

Somewhere on the edge of my consciousness, I was vaguely aware that Nick had stressed the word 'very', but I was too awestruck by this strange looking little guy who'd just walked in to take much notice.

I was about to hop down off the counter and shake his hand when I remember that my belt was undone so I just sort of waved and smiled.

The odd little guy gave me the once over and then gave Nick the same examining look, rolling his eyes and clicking his tongue. I was a little amused and repulsed all at the same time.

"Well, you'll let me know if you need anything." He said, looking back and forth between Nick and I. "Anything at all, okayyy?"

"Yeah, I sure will." Nick smiled, making a move toward the door. "Thanks for stopping by."

After he left we just stared at each other for a moment and then started to giggle like little boys.

"Wow!" I said.

"Yeah, he's been trying to get my attention since the first day he showed me the place. I told him that I was seeing someone, you know, just to keep him at bay."

"Not your type, eh?"

"I don't have a type, per se." He said. "But if I did, he certainly wouldn't be it."

I just watched his handsome face as he talked. Nick went over and locked the door.

"Now, where were we?" He asked, stepping right up to my body and staring at me.

We held onto each other kissing and groping. Then I turned Nick around and bent him over the bolted down table.

After peeling down his jeans, I worked his asshole open with some olive oil before lubing up myself up. I slowly slid the entire length and girth of my steely hard cock up into that sweet little butt of his.

Nick just made guttural growling animal sounds and pounded his fist on the table top as I entered him. I was a little surprised at his ability to take it all in one fell swoop, but then he reached back urging me to be still once I was as deep in him as I could get.

I could think of nothing but how magnificent his body looked. The vast, muscular expanse of his upper back and shoulders, every muscle tense and rippling as he strained to accommodate my intruder. The way his back dramatically tapered down to his very narrow waist and his beautiful, tight little butt pushed right up against my crotch. These are the moments that make life worth living. This connection, this warmth. But its so fleeting.

My cock throbbed and pulsed inside that tiny little opening of his, stretching it wide. His white knuckled hands gripped the far edge of the table and he seemed hardly able to breathe for a while. Then slowly, the panting gave way to deep breathing and finally he lifted his head and began to stroke himself under the table.

I eased my rod out of him, nearly to rim and immediately pushed right back into him. He let out a loud sigh and dropped his head to the table again. Then I began to fuck him, pounding that sweet little ass like there was no tomorrow.

Nick took my relentless hammering like a champ. He made almost no noise until he began to cum. Then he pounded the table top with his fist while stroking himself into oblivion with his other hand. I could feel every pulsing shot he spewed as his tightly contracting ass muscles gripped my cock.

This, of course set my orgasm in motion and my body seized like it was shot through with a jolt of electricity. I began shooting deeply inside him. I fucked and pounded and pushed as I fired round after round of my hot juices inside Nick. I couldn't seem to get close enough or deep enough into him. I pushed and shoved and worked my hips until my knees were ready to give out.