Missed Opportunity

"You sure took your chance with Crass." He snorted derisively.

"So you knew about that huh?"

"Who do you think guarded the bathroom door while you two were in there?" He questioned. "I told people you were in there puking your guts out. Nobody seemed to want to go in there after I said that."

"You know, I've had a crush on you since we first met. But I thought you'd never be open to it. And that made me want you even more." I confessed.

"Let me see if I've got this straight. You wanted me even more because you thought you couldn't have me? Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yep, that's about the size of it."

"You're insane, you know that right?" He chuckled.

"I just can't believe you felt the same way about me as I feel about you."

"Why not? You're a good looking guy. So am I." He said. "You've got a great looking body and I've seen you with chicks, so what's so hard to believe?"

I just smiled and began kissing his neck. The smell of him was so rich and yet indefinable. I ran my palm over his crotch and found that his cock was growing big in his pants. I went to unbuckle his belt but he took over and undressed himself. I knew that my need to control would not be fulfilled with this man. He was physically stronger and preferred to do things his own way. I'd learned that from our months of living together.

He stood up to take off his clothes, weaving a bit as he did. Finally he stood naked before me. I remember just staring at his body. That treasure trail that I'd so longed for paid off in a full dark brown mass of pubic hair which surrounded his cock like a mass of loyal subjects to their monarch.

He had those weird little striation muscles that make a little v-shape which point directly at the crotch on both sides of his waist. Crass had those too, but on a man as big as Sean's they were so incredibly alluring. I found myself trembling with anticipation. I wanted so badly to touch him, but I waited. I wanted him to touch me first. I don't know why. He did. He caressed my cheek as I looked up at him.

"I have to warn you, I don't have much experience with guys. I've only been with one other guy. At my last duty station and we only jerked off together."

As much as I wanted to be sympathetic to his confession I couldn't control myself. I had to be flesh to flesh, skin on skin with this man. To me Sean was the ultimate prize and at that moment I simply had to have him.

I sat up on the edge of his bed and took his fully erect member in my hand. It was much larger than I'd ever imagined. Long and thick with an amazing network of flesh colored veins all of them pulsating along with his heartbeat.

I leaned in close and the smell of him sent my libido into overdrive. It was the same smell as when we wrestled. I felt strong and powerful. Then it was clear to me that the smell of him was an aphrodisiac for me. My heart began to pound and my dick began to throb wildly.

I opened my jaw as far as I could and took his massive cock in my mouth. It was very hot on my tongue. I could feel it jump and throb in my mouth. He groaned loudly as he leaned forward. I grabbed his hips but not before his thick head hit the back of my throat. I gagged a bit and pulled his body back from my face.

I grabbed him by the waist and pulled him down onto the bed with me. This was what I wanted. I licked his chest and down through his treasure trail. I dug my nose into his pubes and played around his huge cock. Then I looked up and he was looking back at me. It made me feel a little a creepy that he was looking down at me while I was reveling in his crotch so I bit down hard on the area between his thigh and crotch. He yelled and grabbed me by my arms and pulled me up to him.

"You'd better not do that to my dick." He warned and kissed me.

I hated having him in control. I hadn't been yanked around since I was a kid and now this stud was doing it. It was going to be a battle of wills. I pushed his legs upon my shoulders and he immediately tried to pull them down. I grabbed them hard and put them back while I glared at him. He just stared back at me.

I put my cock to asshole and pushed forward a bit. He still just stared back at me. Then he slathered his fingers generously with his own spit and rubbed it on the head of my dick. He took my dick and put it at his asshole, and with his other hand he pulled me forward by my waist. I could feel the resistance of his hole but not for long. I popped in easily. He yelped quietly and held my waist in place.

Breathing deeply like he'd just emerged from a pool of water he grabbed both my cheeks and pulled me forward. At the same time his calves closed around my head. As I sank into him I could feel his strong muscles pushing against me. His thighs pushing me back so I didn't go too deep into him. His lower legs almost crushing my skull.

I stood still but he didn't. I could feel his guts working to accommodate the intruder, his face was twisted in pain and concentration.

Then his legs relaxed and flexed again. His face went smooth and I felt his hips begin to move in a circular motion against me. Soon I was sliding deeper into him and he made a lot of noise as I did. I had let go of his horse like thighs and now they were splayed out like a porno actor's as he grabbed his own legs behind his knees and pulled them towards his body. I sank in to the hilt and it only occurred to me just at that moment that a bigger man can take a big dick more easily.

I began to fuck Sean for all I was worth. I pounded and pounded into his butt like it was the last piece of ass that I was ever going to get. He held the back of his knees and just grunted. His dick was hard and leaking onto his stomach. It excited me to see his own pre cum spilling onto him. I grabbed his left leg and pulled it down on my right side so that he was laying on his left side with his butt sticking out. I forced my knee between his legs as he lay on side with my cock still halfway up his ass.

I pushed forward with all my might. His entire body flexed and he let out a noise the like of which I've never heard before or since. I stopped cold, thinking I had hurt him. "Oh fuck, do that again!" Sean urged me.

I must have hit his pleasure spot because his large body wriggled and he moaned like he was in ecstasy. I nailed him again and again as his hand worked his cock furiously. Sean wanted me to fuck him hard and deep. I loved it, I couldn't get enough of his ass. I reached for his cock, it was hard and strong but he pushed my hand away.

"Don't, you'll make me cum." He said.

If you've ever fucked a man who is bigger and stronger than you then you know exactly what I mean. I wrapped my arms around his wide back and fucked this man for all I worth. I kissed and licked his strong shoulders. To this day, anytime I hear the word 'erotic' I think of Sean.

When orgasm finally came I didn't want to accept it. It took me by force. I didn't want to ever relinquish that asshole. I clung and clutched to Sean's body like it was my only reason for living. I decided at that very moment that I would love him always.

As I unleashed my gushing torrent of sperm into him I felt as though somehow my psyche bonded with him. It was, without a doubt the best climax I've ever had. My body reacted violently. I gripped his strong shoulders and held him as my hips took on a life of their own, like a dog in heat, frantically pounding into round, hairy butt cheeks. I just couldn't seem to get enough of him. Sean's ass will forever be a sacred place to me. He is the standard to which I hold everyone else. I have yet to meet anyone who made me feel as I did that night.

When body finally relaxed and I was able to move again I rolled off him over onto the bed to face him.

"God you're beautiful," I told him. "I love you man."

"I know." He said pleasantly, quietly. "I could see it in your eyes even before tonight."

You see in homosexual sex you know exactly what the other person is feeling, so you are identifying with the other person completely. In heterosexual sex you have no idea what the other person is feeling. I kissed him deeply and compassionately. He put his hand behind my neck and massaged it gently.

"I love you too my friend." Sean said sadly.

I wanted to cry, but I didn't. Somehow, by that admission I felt that I'd already lost him. I swallowed the lump in my throat just caressed his face. Then I hugged him tightly. As great as it is, that kind of emotion overloads my senses. It seems to cripple me mentally. I was utterly depressed.

I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. He wrapped his arm me and soon he was snoring loudly.

The next thing I knew the alarm was sounding and I had to get ready for work. Sean's flight was at noon and I made him promise not to leave before I came back. I just sat at my desk all morning and didn't do a fucking thing. Just stared out the window at the Japanese rain. Oddly enough, Japanese rain is just like American rain. Cloudy, dark and depressing.

I sneaked out of work and went back to the barracks. Sean was there waiting with his bags.

"Its about time to get over to the air terminal isn't it?" I asked.

"We've got a few minutes."

I didn't want to be all maudlin so I tried to remain upbeat. He got up from his seat and came over to me and hugged me close. Then he went down to the pay phone to call a taxi. He must have waited down there because when he finally got back he kissed me quickly and we took his bags down to the cab.

We didn't speak a word while we waited for his flight to be called. We just sat there silently, staring off into the distance. We'd exchanged home addresses and phone numbers and promised to keep in touch a while ago. I wanted to hold his hand but of course that was not possible.

Sean got up and started to walk away.

"Where you going?"

"To the bathroom."

I followed him a few seconds later. He was in there washing his hands. I dragged him forcefully into a stall and kissed him passionately. Then his flight was called. I just stood in the terminal and watched his plane take off. I never saw Sean again.

I walked back to work in the pouring rain. I did cry then. At first I wept quietly, then great gut wrenching sobs wracked my body. I couldn't help it. I sobbed like a little kid whose favorite toy had just been taken away. I felt awful. As I said before, I don't wear that kind of emotion well at all. I was very mean and grumpy to everyone for weeks afterward.

I never called or wrote to Sean because I had nothing to say other than I loved him and I missed him. I think he already knew that.

My new roommate seemed like an alright guy, but I never paid enough attention and in any case was not there long enough to find out. I got orders to my new duty station and that was all I thought about until I left.

My orders indicated that I was to be assigned to a Naval Air station in northern California. Soon the pain of losing Sean was only a sore memory. I put it out of my mind altogether.

I spent about a month at home on leave. I thought several times of calling Sean but I didn't. Soon I was driving across the country to on my way to California.

Here's the weird thing, only a few months after getting to California my squadron went on deployment to a base in southern Arizona. The middle of nowhere on the Mexican border. I hated it because it was unbelievably hot and everywhere I looked I saw signs that said 'Peligro!' That's danger in Spanish.

Anyway, one night me and my new friends, one of which had been in Japan with me, went to a club in the town outside the base. It was the only club in town so it was packed.

Once inside I walked around looking for someone to dance with. I'm an excellent dancer. Even though it was a little hick town in the desert this was a pretty decent club. I stood near the dance floor and tried to look as cool as I could. The out of nowhere I heard my name being called. But it wasn't one of the guys I'd come here with.

"Corporal Brooks!" I heard.

I looked to my left and then to my right. I didn't see anyone I knew.

"Hey Corporal Brooks." I felt a hand on my back and I turned around to see who it was.

It was PFC Crass, now Lance Corporal Crass. I was stunned. We talked for a while like old friends do. He told me that he was divorced from his wife and that things had been going well for him. I was glad to hear it. He introduced me to his friends, some of them I already knew from Japan and others I already knew from previous duty stations that I'd been at.

I'm certain that I could have persuaded Crass to go to a motel with me that night. He followed me around the club like a little puppy. But I just didn't want to get all tangled up in that kind of thing again. Another missed opportunity.