by TomsPen
I liked the flow of this. The only line that seemed off in terms of the meter was "If only I could forgive my sin".
The abrupt ending matches the disappointment of the narrator.
For a first entry - your poem was lovely, delicate and expressed the longings and yearnings of the human soul.
Exquisitely written! Very enjoyable!
Welcome to Lit
With your first piece here.
My only comment for your thought is
You seem to have cut it off in mid-thought.