All Comments on 'Victor and Samuel Ch. 01'

Well written and bittersweet. In more ways than one. I'd be interested in taking it further in the scenario of dealing with the future, except that deals with the kids.

Well done.

The sex is excellent, but the story is as confused about its perspective and feelings as Vic is about his. We're meant to feel, at the end, the love between Vic and Sam, how Vic has finally come home--but your perspective on the break-up puts us with Pamela.

I don' t know about other readers, but when Vic leaves we're in Pamela's head and that's pretty much were we stay. I'm not with Vic, feeling how alone he's been and what a weight has been lifted from his shoulder. Or how he's never been at home with Pamela and now can be with Sam. I'm with Pamela, husband gone, eight years of marriage down the toilet, two kids to explain things to--and a husband gone off to have great sex with his true love.

Gosh. I feel so good for Vic...NOT!

I'm not saying the story is unrealistic, but if you want me to be with Vic, to feel his relief and homecoming and the joy of that sex, then I think you need to change the perspective on the story. We need to be more in his head, and when he leaves, stay in his head, not be left behind with Pamela. As it is now, your story tosses out mixed messages and undermines the tender sex scene at the end.

The sex scene is hot, and there is some real insight into the anguish of a marital breakup, but the flashbacks and abrupt changes in points of view are distracting. There's also too much narration rather than dialogue. I would have liked to have heard a bit more from the abandoned wife, but we never get back to her. Best, Ken

Red, I loved it!! Being female and straight(ish) I don't know how valid any comment I have will be. I enjoy watching gay sex and reading gay stories and that was HOT. I am looking forward to chapter 2.

I think your story is a very good beginning to a many chaptered story. I placed myself in Sam's eyes, knowwing the aguish his Vic was feeling yet knowing he himself only wanted vic for his own. the story gives a very good overview of the marital breakup, obviously more could be written in future chapters, but a concise overview is given which is good. The sex between Sam and Vic extremely hot in my view. I find myself wanting to read them waking up in bed together in the morning. please continue with more chapters.

DC:

A couple of commentors referred to being turned off by the recalling of events to tell the story and the abivalence of the main characters. I don't see how you can tell the story without recalling the events that led up to it. I also don't see how the characters could help but be ambivalent.

She wants to hold the family together and keep her man but she has long suspected his true sexual identity and tried to ignore it.

He has secretly put into practice his sexual proclivities and yet was afraid from his youth on to make them public, and for good reason for most of the time.

His sin, which he so far has failed to acknowledge because his is the greatest ambivalence; Lying to the woman that he married and then bailing out on her so she gets to raise two kids in a single parent family while he gets to cavort with his boyfriend and all done with minimum regret on his part except to swill a lot of booze. Red: you've told a strong story and since I'm not into that life style I don't know how true it is, but I suspect you've struck a chord that will reverberate with this one.

I LOVE READING STORIES ABOUT LOVE BETWEEN TWO MEN. SO HONEST AND TOUCHING. A GREAT STORY. A GREAT READ. THANKS.

This had lust, passion, hot sex, love, pain, deceit, and self-awakening. It is very profound for a 2 page story on Lit. I especially like that it treats them as any couple and not any different for being gay men. It was rather well done of Red, like all of her stuff. I give it a 5.

An interesting story. I was a bit confused about the perspectives at first - not sure if we were in who's head. Sam's, Vic's, or his wife. The wife's perspective was particularly strong, maybe too strong for a story whose focus should really be about the two lovers. However, the writing was very engaging on an emotional level. Thank you.