All Comments on 'Vera'

This is a love story about freinds. We all hope that we have this close of a relationship with someone in our lives. I know that some would hold their sexual fling against them, but I think that it just made the story deeper. This is all I can write for now. I need some fresh air to revisit some old freinds of my own. Thank you for this story.

I hardly know what to say. The early part of the story was so compelling that I was almost disappointed to be interrupted by a sex scene. But the sex between two such compelling characters was magnificent. I felt as though you made me feel not just their physical sensations, but their emotional connection as well. And then the final part -- ohmigod! So heartbreaking and yet so beautiful. Thank you for creating something that will resonate with anyone who has loved and anyone who has lost someone she loved.

I am not a writer so I can not put into words how I loved this story in fancy words. I just know what I like. So many stories are just about the sex--no plot, no character development, no plausibility. You had it all and the sex was wonderful to boot. Simply excellent.

Thank you for one of the best stories I've read here. It deserves to reside near the top of the "Favorites" list for a long, long time.

Loved the characters, loved the plot, loved the way you use language, and loved the way you wove music throughout, just as it's woven through our lives and loves, especially at that age.

You captured things that are exceedingly difficult to capture. The joy/sadness of an intense love that we know is fleeting, and the vivid memories of a young person viewed through the filter of experience come immediately to mind.

Oh, and the sex was pretty damned hot, too! ;-)

I'm not sure if this is done or is a terrible breach of protocol, but I feel the need to comment on my story in hopes of giving interested readers more insight into it. If there is a problem with this, I'm sure I'll hear about it, and I'll remove this comment.

***

The wearing of a public symbol as a mark of failings is a common theme in literature, the two best known being, perhaps, the story of Cain in "The Bible" and "The Scarlet Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

"Vera" very loosely alludes to the Middle English poem "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight". In the poem, Sir Gawain, a knight from King Arthur's court, fails in his chivalric duties and flinches in the face of death. For penance, the supernatural Green Knight requires that Gawain wear, as a sign and reminder of his shortcomings, the green silk which was given to Gawain by Bertilak's wife. Bertilak is the Green Knight in human, non-supernatural, form.

The following link provides a much better and in-depth description for the interested reader:

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/gawain/

In "Vera", Gavin is equivalent to Gawain (e.g. Prince Valiant haircut, Camelot). Bertille's (or 'B's') role is that of Bertilak, the Green Knight. In the story, I tried to paint 'B' in green as much as possible, to the point that Bertille even dyes her hair green after Vera's death. As for Vera, she loosely acts as the Green Knight's lady.

I also played with Vera's and Nada's names. In the Slavic languages, Vera and Nada mean faith and hope, respectively. Hence, B's daughter's name and the several references to hope and faith throughout the story.

At the end of "Vera", when Bertille gives the scarf to Gavin, she essentially absolves him of his sin; nonetheless, the scarf is his to always remind him of his failure. The other memento that Bertille leaves with Gavin is a copy of "Lord Jim" by Conrad, a novel about an officer on a boat who panics and shirks his duties when his ship sinks. In Conrad's story, Lord Jim eventually makes up for his failure in heroic fashion. My hope is for the reader to believe that Gavin will follow a similar path.

The two quotes at the start of the story are purposefully in conflict, challenging the reader. I inserted them as a reminder that two intelligent people can have widely differing stances; therefore, the choices one makes in life can be difficult and confusing. Indeed, it may be impossible to live by a single code with regard to choice.

All of the characters in "Vera" are young, and, in my mind, that is Gavin's excuse and reason for his immaturity and lack of sense of duty. I wanted to expand upon his character, to make him more human, but had difficulty doing this. The triangle in the story has Vera at it's apex, with Gavin and the narrator having minimal interaction with each other apart from B's pleading with Gavin to visit Vera. Of the songs mentioned in the story, "Bird on the Wire" (Leonard Cohen) is Gavin's song.

Like a bird on the wire,

like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free.

Like a worm on a hook,

like a knight from some old fashioned book

I have saved all my ribbons for thee.

If I, if I have been unkind,

I hope that you can just let it go by.

If I, if I have been untrue

I hope you know it was never to you.

Like a baby, stillborn,

like a beast with his horn

I have torn everyone who reached out for me.

But I swear by this song

and by all that I have done wrong

I will make it all up to thee.

I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch,

he said to me, "You must not ask for so much."

And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door,

she cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Oh like a bird on the wire,

like a drunk in a midnight choir

I have tried in my way to be free.

***

If you've read this far, thank you, and I hope that it was of interest. And thanks to all who have responded, either positively or negatively.

CC

What a marvelous story. I have been a fan of this author for some time - she's clearly one of the best in the genre - but this effort is in a different league completely

I am glad she included the explanation of the symbolism. My education was sadly neglected insofar as literature and the symbols of literature were concerned; my reading tends to be pretty literal.

I continually read the stories posted here in hopes of finding a truly wonderful story like yours. It was very moving...thank you. Jack prince3131@hotmail.com

A beautiful short story, a story about friendship at its core. It is the best story I have read on this site. Continue Caroline, continue to write and develope your voice. Well done and I agree with a previous comment, it makes you want to seek out and reinforce the friendships of our youth. Thank you!

Of course this is not what I normally read but after noticing the excellent feedback I couldn't resist. It is a great piece of work and I enjoyed it. Keep writng what appeals to you. Thanks.

Loved the story. Tender, realistic, sweet. I cried, and I don't do that often.

Caroline - your story was riveting. The increasing tension built up and I was enthralled.

Also your comment above was beautiful. You are a genius! I was enthralled by that, too. You are my favorite erotic writer.

Scott J

I don’t have the words to describe just how great a story this is. Everything about it is perfect. Everything. If there were a way to do it, I would make this story required reading on this site.

That was a very tender story. To share so deeply in love, laughter, the fear and all that was going on within Vera. Love knows so many faces. You shared one of them beautifully. Thanks. Don't know what I was expecting when I began to read, but recieved something beautiful. Am axnious to read more of your writing Caroline. Bill

I was reading "Lesbian Sex" in search of learning how to write a FF sex scene properlly.

Intead, I learned how to write about love.

People who love one another have sex. Here we see the stories about the sex they have had. You did it differently; you´ve written about the love they had shared.

I kiss you. Thanks.

What can I say? If erotic fiction both makes you want to finger yourself and write down wonderful new phrases (I'm a non-native English speaker with a passion for the language), then it is excellent fiction indeed.

I needed a good cry and this was just the story that did it.

This story was absolutely wonderful. A great story forces you to experience many different emotions at once. It was beautifully written and the length was perfect. How a story can make you want to cry and in the next instance make you want to cum all over yourself is beyond me, but yours did it for me. Congrats. Keep up the good work.

Well then....

As some other readers have observed, many of us read these stories for the stroke potential, and in its' own way, this one certainly delivers that. But it deeply pains me to read something so much better, so much more deeply felt in the writing, than what I could have done. Even as I troll the site for stimulation, I am constantly amazed at the gems of talent that surface, and this is one of them. Though I found the use of the Beatles and 'Stones contretemps slightly labored, I'm a sucker for the Beatles and suffered it willingly. The use of death as a metaphor for unfulfilled/unrequited love was deftly handled, and evoked exactly the correct feelings at the right time.

My compliments and admiration...

Your story took me on slow loving ride. I hung on all the way till sad yet wonderful ending. Your writing made me see in their world and I loved it. So bittersweet was the ending but like I said seeing their world was worth it. Anon

Or was this something from the heart? I absolutely loved it; fell in love with it, even. I praise you for your vocabulary, for it is a welcome change from some of the more daunting and crude debauchery of this site. If you could, I would love to know if this was an actual story of your life, your journey, if you will. It touched me. I can relate to it quite thoroughly, too. My heart goes out to you as, I am sure, once I tell my own tale of heartache, you will reciprocate the condolences.

Live care free for now, Caroline.

-TAS

Emotional, loving, romantic, moving, erotic, very well written and I loved it - what more can I say?

R

As a long time reader of erotic stories, on this site, (and others), if there is another story written with as much empathy, pathos, sensitivity, and style, I have yet to read it. The way you interweave the relevant music with the mood of the moment, is peerless. When I visit this site, I expect to be sexually aroused, surprised, turned on, amused, titillated and all those other horny cliches and totally enjoy myself immersed in a world of sexy juicy fun. But never do I expect to be reduced to tears. Your story has had that effect. I have you as a favourite because you are a favourite of mine. Good luck to you Caroline and maintain your excellence in writing

regards

jules39 (bi fem Brisbane, 2011)

Thank you. An amazing story. Very powerful.

Whew!

Certainly one of the best I've ever come across on this site, and your comment made me realize how much thought/craft had gone into it.

...going to read all your stories now, and go back and look at the dates...hoping you're still posting

and certainly HOT time they had together...never considered "...what happens in Montreal..."

really extraordinary story

One wonders how B and Vera's lives would have evolved absent the lymphoma. Still, this is the sort of story that I wish there were more of on lit. A touching story with some sexy bits rather than a minimal scaffold of plot to support the sex. Thanks so much for sharing your words.

What a beautifully written and heart-rending story. I've read some real crap on this site and, thankfully, I've read some brilliant stories. Vera has got to be right up there with the very best of them. If this was theatre, Caroline, you would deserve a standing ovation.

So many years on from when this traumatic tale first appeared, it's heartening to note that readers are still being moved by it. A tragic story described with immense affection and delicacy. The lesbian love (not sex), such a short but necessary experience for both, leaves a bitter sweet taste but one never to be forgotten. And, Caroline, your story will also live on, deserving of a much wider audience. Thanks for sharing.

Oh my God what a beautiful story of love and friendship. Beautiful and truly sad. I cried many tears as I read this.

This is as good a story as there is on this site. Thank you so very much for writing it.

Simply beautiful. No other words.

And so well written.

...meaning I stumbled across this story by chance and I am very pleased I did so. Vera is a wonderful and touching bitter-sweet tale. I can only say it's a pity that you're not writing now because your standards are very high.