by dr_mabeuse
but this was far better than the normal run, with hot sex scenes! Some slight editing glitch happened in two occasions...looks like quotation marks were not set properly?
Extraordinarily erotic, a take on the vampire mythos that I had not considered before.
The characters were well done, with a complete range of emotions.
The vampire was fascinating, so torn by what she was, so desperate for redemption.
Very nice work, doc.
Well done.
written and intriguing. I love vampire pieces and this was a good one
That was an incredible story. You could give Anne Rice a run for her money. I can't begin to describe how jealous i am of your abilities as a storyteller. Good luck in the contest.
Yout took someone who is normally a ghoul and turned her into the romantic center of the story. Well done for taking a different route and delivering an exciting and erotic story.
I loved this! I feel guilty now for wincing at the title...
it's really really wonderful. IMO, the contest winner!
Very erotic and fantastic job on showing the emotions a vampire can feel. :)
story on vampires. A very unusual take, but one I liked very much. The way you made your male character change his views was excellent, a believable turn-around.
The train with the melancholy sounds and sights, was an added bonus to a well told story.
Black Tulip
You took my emotions and played with them. You are a master storyteller dr_m. Good luck!
Cookie :)
for an erotic journey!! This was a great story ~ now I understand why you disagreed with me on a thread about vampires....
I bow to your greatness!! :kiss:
~Honey
I think many writers struggle to express their voice, yet yours comes clearly through your words, almost as if you I can feel your thoughts as I read.
A very interesting take on vampires - I especially love the idea of vampire's strengths being human flaws, and of how Marissa struggles to keep her grip on humanity.
Good luck!
Well it was going to be an early night and then I read this story and suddenly the night left hope of a Marissa to make life so boring and death so erotic. What a story! I feared for his cock as Sarah sucked him and in my gut felt marissa would not be able to give up her undead status, but the twist was him doing it for her. Inspired. An allegory on the weakness of the male sex, making decisions with his dick in the face of danger and ruin. Well done.
Being a writer of erotic fiction based mostly on succubi, I must say that I've also had a fascination with female vampires. This story was truly breath taking and wonderfully written. It gives plenty of detail, and great story line to it. The characters are well drawn out by the end of it and the end leaves you wanting more. Congratulations, Dr. Mabeuse. I hope you will continue in this genre (erotic vampires).
Jason
I have read hundreds of stories on this and 2 similar sites. Alot of them dealing with horror fantasy. This one is by far my favorite.
I couldn't remember the title from when I first read it ... Halloween contest entry I believe so I spent 2+ hrs looking through bad Vampire tales till I found it..... it was as good as I remembered and worth the search. I'm looking very forward to reading more of your stories.
Thanks for a awesome read!
The Brat :D
I am sorry my words are limited. I wish my words were more expansive.
I begin by saying I love almost anything relating to Vampires. I loved the cat comparison of the girl’s face. Did you intentionally mean to spell “conside4rably?” You missed a period after “..the taste of wine was stirring.” A second missing period “..a trace of embarrassment or hesitancy.” The editors of the site forgot to italicize your word “..so you mustn’t think I’m one those..” Should it not read..“..and attractive, liberal-minded man such as yourself…” Superb grape scene.
You forgot to cap “The silver one on top.” You did not need both comma and period here “..harm’s way like this, but still,..” The editors missed another italicized word, I think “Not to your taste, Ted?” A missed period at the end of this sentence “..as if he’d received an electric shock.” Another missed period in this sentence “..her excitement tinged with bitter envy.”
A missed period in this last sentence “..jealousy and envy raged in her breast.” How could Todor see the pink color of labia if they are all in the dark? A VIRGIN, I like the irony of this situation. Another missed period “..and Marissa was determined to have it.” Missed period here “..and lost in her blazing orgasm.” I cannot wait to read the next installment. This story is better than any sexual scene Anne Rice has ever written. Marvelous!
this has to be the best one yet
you had me so wraped up in knowing what was to happen i ended up an hour and a half late for work
but it doesnt matter to me
i dont know what it is about how you put together words
but my attion is all yours
when i read oh god i want more
i cant seam to get enought
please oh please write more
like this one humm i beg you
This story was so hot. I would so like to read more of Todor and Marissa. Im off to find my hubby now. ;)
That was the most sensualy erotic mindblowing story i have read in a long time.keep up the great work!
Sad and beautiful! Great detail and vivid imagery. Please continue this story!
Yours is the first story I've come across that is not only extremely erotic, but also well-written! Well played. :)
I really enjoyed your story. Though the entire story was about eroticism it really didn't feel that was the main point of it. It was such a different take on the vampire being the victim and though I guessed what would happen it took on a life of it's own and exceeded my expectations. You should be really proud. If you ever publish a book I will buy it, hardcover, No kindle or library, promise:P
The story was quite good, loved the ending with Todor putting on the glasses. I am hoping for a sequal,but will be happy without one
Loved the story. Very well written, it was sexy, erotic and suspenseful. Great ending, hope they can find some more fun time together because I like happy endings lol.