All Comments on 'Unexpected Halloween'

I believe that this story was much better than your other halloween tale. Thanks for the story

I liked it, but think you can do much better. Keep writing, the potential is there for some great stuff.

Very hot!! I loved this story, Sir. :) I look forward to reading more by You!

awesome, keep up the great work Sir.. looking forward to more

WOW

I have read hundreds of stories in numerous categories. This attempt at writing is a published FIRST DRAFT. This should represent step one in process that consists of at least three more reviews. I have NEVER seen such a high concentrations of common mistakes in what purports to be a finished product. Take this down, edit it or find a literate, skilled, patient resource to remove the layers of verbal muck that make up this mess. You have the makings of a good story here. Regrettably, in its present form, it would need a complete overhaul to even approach an honest evaluation as pathetic.

switch-board (switchboard)

customers phone (customer’s)

Boss (boss) (40)

Sir (sir) (23)

store room (storeroom) (2)

re-setting (resetting)

Yacht (yacht)

first junk (food) meal

clients phone (client’s)

its your (it’s) (15)

Bin (bin)

an he had (and)

Mondays activities

Now you may remember I am over 6 foot (IN ORDER FOR THE READER TO REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT A CHARACTER IT IS NECESSARY FOR THE AUTHOR TO HAVE MENTIONED IT)

your fired (you’re) (2)

Your (your) (2)

re-set (reset)

Tomorrow (tomorrow)

town house (townhouse)

bull nose (bullnose)

Bo (bo)

Odd (odd)

my self (myself)

Ta Dah (dah)

Ballet (ballet)

Fairy (fairy)

re-filled (refilled) (2)

foot steps (footsteps)

un-done (undone)

Grandma's (grandma's) (3)

Sis (sis) (3)

spot light (spotlight)

glassware (A CHANDELIER IS NOT GLASSWARE!!!!)

tanned, taught, terrific girls (taut)

what ever (whatever)

Goodie (goodie)

two moist cunt's (cunts) ()

Whack (whack)

sisters (sister’s)

Crack (crack)

Buttock (buttock)

whips (whip’s)

with-out (without) (2)

twins (twin’s) (2)

twins (twins’) (5)

bought down (brought)

laying supine (lying)

Cumming (cumming) (2)

Any time (Anytime)

every thing (everything)

your awake (you’re) (2)

I woke with two eager mouths licking my rampant cock . . . sucked my now rampant cock (WHEN HE WOKE UP HIS COCK WAS RAMPANT MINUTES IT BECAME RAMPANT???? WTF!!!!)

Felecia's (Felicia's) (5)

no where (nowhere)

You (you)

down stairs (downstairs)

Anal (anal)

titer (titter)

Some times (Sometimes)

SOMETIMES passions get raised and SOMETIMES jealousy rears its ugly head and people have SOMETIMES got hurt

trick or treats (tricks)

Mothers (Mother’s)

re-fit (refit)

silk shirt (and) presented

Bisexual (bisexual)

parents (parent’s)

Money (money)

way to soon (too)

Bag (bag)

Gin and Tonic (gin and tonic)

her self (herself)

(-a) (as) well as at the rope factory

Father (father)

side line (sideline)

wont (won’t) (3)

Lobster (lobster)

pettifores (petit fours)

hand full (handful)

planed (planned)

God Bless (God bless)

older than me (I)

business woman (businesswoman)

goodbye's (goodbyes)

had a nice diner (dinner)

Jesters (jester’s)

Clown outfit (clown)

Limo (limo) (4)

also in a gated community (-a big old pile) (WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN!?!?!?!?)

discus

it (discuss)

loosing battle (losing)

Dad (dad) (2)

Mom (mom) (4)

nkew (knew)

gods sake (God’s)

run through (run-through) (3)

sound proof (soundproof)

Goody (goody)

laughed like a drain (MEANINGLESS POORLY DESCRIBED!!!!)

Questions (questions)

free for all (free-for-all)

Slaves (slaves) (5)

Silent (silent)

Hummed (hummed)

Boots (boots)

Body (body) (2)

pass or to (two)

melt down (meltdown)

Cane (cane) (2)

Ky (KY)

No Way (way)

Triumph (triumph)

Thrall (thrall)

remover the vibrator (removed)

Lush (lush)

made free with all the bodies (INDECIPHERABLE!!!!)

My (my) (2)

de-flower (deflower)

Mouth (mouth) (3)

Suck (suck)

My Cock (cock)

Cum (cum)

Anus (anus)

watch BEA’S SHOW. BEA’S SHOW

mothers (mother’s)

Sylvia was canned (caned)

He (he)

Fuck (fuck)

Ladies (ladies)

Vibrators (vibrators)

to he hilt (the)

lay back (lie)

Glans (glans)

Thrust (thrust)

Balls (balls) (2)

giive (give)

one minute (one-minute)