All Comments on 'The Sewer Mermaid'

That was very hot, and quite surprising! I liked it.

Your story reminds me in style and, in a metaphorical way, substance of Hodgson's "Tropical Terror", making it surely one of the better stories on this site, yet the ending isn't worthy of it. The last paragraph works up to "I struggled", or perhaps the sentence preceding, but there the something about style or content is very charring. The story is told as a retrospective of a dead man, and is by that alone a fantastic story in the original sense of the word, so if you were to perhaps remove "I struggled", and then: "The constriction of the tentacles didn't allow me to breath, much less escape. I felt a familiar prick on my back, and my body ceased to fight. The last I felt was a grotesque, swallowing push that sent me head first into her stomach.", the flow were less disrupted, and I feel that your story doesn't necessarily need an urgent death scene (as often taught in writing courses). There are still the very sudden, short-breathed sentences introducing what I just suggested, but I think this might work better.

In any case, yours is an excellent story and a welcome breath of fresh air amidst all the badly written elfs, nymphs, and peasent-queens, with or without the ending, so read it primarily as the praise it is meant to be.

This is without a doubt one of the best erotic stories I ever read. It is too bad there weren't any sequels.