All Comments on 'The Last 24 Hours Ch. 06'

Author this was a great sex scene and was put together very good. Beth who had stuck with Alex through all his problems with Lisa, the daughters, and the divorce, deserved that kind of loving and in that setting. I was a well deserved reward after 15 years of their relationship of loving each other, but not letting each other know how they felt.

Dear Landrious, keep going, it was a swell love scene, nobody needs better, or they are greedy.

I want to see the rest, BUT NOW! (Like in Harry Potter? :-)

Thank you

John

His wife and children set him up to destroy him. His parents disowned him. His uncle never wants to see him again.

What does Beth and Josh see in him? Oh well, the story was a good one and the sex was hot, even if this has to be the most unlikeable guy in the world.

I loved it my only problem was when he was taking about his other experiences "I had only been with one other girl when I was in high school. That had been a very unsatisfying one time occasion as we were both very drunk."

Um he couldnt have been drunk he would have died then because hes alergic to alcohol.

But Beth is there to help him now!

Man, Great sex scene, (where's my wife, need to re-enact ;).

I also like how you have developed this plot.

Now correct me if I am wrong BUT...

you have left a really big door for a sequel here. Then we can get some answers, not that they are really too needed but hey!

WHAT about his parents?

WHY did the ex call?

WHAT the hell could she want?

WHY are the girls such bitches?

WHEN do they get married?

WHAT will they name their children?

WHO shot his guardian angel and why did it take so long for the replacement to arrive? lol.

Love the story! Keep it UP!

I enjoyed your tale! Please do write a sequel.

Let me begin by saying that I enjoyed your story. However, I am annoyed because it should have been better. You could have tightened it up more. For example, how many times in chapter 6 do you need to tell us that Beth has waited 15 years for Alex? I counted 8 times! All right already…we know she waited a long time.

I also found the violent play between Beth and Josh and Beth and Alex to be unnecessary, distracting and disarming. You are obviously trying to convey that Beth is a fiery redhead in temperament. However, those exchanges only served to reduce my empathy for her character. Am I to assume that her behavior is that of a woman with a 170 IQ or an immature woman who happens to have a high IQ? That such a woman would knock her best friend, and love of her life senseless by aiming a fist at his temple I found appalling. You realize that blow to that region could KILL HIM? If this ‘play’ was important to the story then have her smack him playfully, or lightly punch his arm.

You have also told us that this man has just learned that his daughters are not his. And in keeping with that pronouncement you have the character almost lose his composure in the shower. It would have been more effective if he HAD lost it in the shower. Having him cry over the loss of his children would have solidified the image you had built of Alex to that point. Instead, he shakes off his mood in favor of showing Beth a good time. Huh? She and Josh could have waited.

As for the sex scenes, they were done well. However, you again reduced some of their effectiveness by having Alex mention that whole mess with his family and in doing so created some question about the main premise for his divorce….namely that he was a target for Lisa because of his trust fund. Remember that detail in chapter 1?

I began to question if his parents left him any money given their estrangement. In my opinion, the introduction of his deceased siblings, his parents and his uncle, as the basis for his name change was completely extraneous to the story. You should have left that out. So what if he had secrets from Beth; that was not the time to bring up that baggage, unless he was trying to scare her off.

It pained me to be so harsh in this criticism but I am doing so because I hope you write more stories.

q>"I moved down her tummy and past her gorgeous six pack of abs and arrived at my destination. "<Q

what? this sentence stopped me. AFAIK, women do not develop six packs. even intense competition level body building women do not develop six packs. is Beth on some serious steroids, like sex change level testosterone or 'something'? it might explain all that hitting and knocking people around. [grin]

it was a pretty good story, over all. pretty well told.

mention of an enema might have made the anal stuff more realistic, but....anyway.

and why do so many people dislike this guy? does he have "loser, abuse me" tattooed on his face? parents, and uncle, and 'wife'/con woman and his 'kids'? a bit over the top, eh? i was expecting him to mention he is hated by the Salvation Army next.....

For those who are distressed about Beth clocking Alex at his door.(I have like twenty emails about it!) You must have missed the part where she was angry, scared, and in tears. You also missed the part where he popped the door open to try and catch them off guard. In other words IT WAS AN ACCIDENT ALREADY.

Next point Thanks to Kalifornia for pointing out a part re worded in editing i.e. the high school experience, that I missed.

Story was great. Love it. Thanks. Anon in Kalifornia thinks women cannot develop a 6 pack, meaning clear definition of the row of abdominal muscles. Actually most women do not, because they maintain the slight overall layer of fat that gives them the softer appearance we males are taught to expect and prize in women. However, training and diet can diminish that fat layer to the extent that the definition of the abs, gluts and any other muscle are visible. visiblethclearly

Enjoyed the story. And SOME women do have six packs--especially body builders.

I thought the antagonism with wife, kids, and family was explained.

Are you planning on doing more chapters or a sequel to this story? It seems a few things are left to be covered(like the ex-wife trying to contact the husband, Alex and Beth getting married, the wife's kids finding out about their money from college and maybe reflecting on how they treated the person that was suppose to be their father, maybe getting in touch with Alex's parents after all these years, etc). Though the ex-wife, marriage, and the kids seemed to be the most important parts that are left open.

That was so great Landrious i really didlove alex and beths humour throughout the story but i hope i see alot more of alex and beth when they confront Lisa and josh and set them straight.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga.

I cant get tired reading this great story i hope you never stop writing more chapters of Alex and Beth Beth is the most sensous woman alive and alex palmer is the best .

Pat

Atlanta,Ga.

Alex and beth have reaveled that His so to be Ex never loved him she just used him to get to his money but he has someone that really loves him for himself as he is good to her and he loves very much.

I must admit you lost your "Virginity" of your first sex scene with quite a fanfare. I was impressed with the soft, loving, feeling of this story. It seemed to be a much more realistic portrayal than a lot I've read.

So many come off feeling like I've just seen a pornographic movie. Not much reality, just a lot of OOH's & AAAHHHH's.

Granted there are times when partners in a relationship do indulge in some hard sex, just not as often as I read in some of the stories.

I keep reminding myself that this is still fantasy, but I love it when a nice story does comes along.

I tip my hat to you! Thanks,Bill.

bjmac-3@hotmail.com

Excellent.

Sure like your writing!

Well, my gosh that has to be one of the hottest and most erotic sex scene that I have had the privilege of experiencing. You have a talent that is exceptional and unique for the setting of what Alex and Beth just went through together. Masterful in the set up and execution.

Beth was right to be furious that Alex even uttered Lisa's name in the midst of their lovemaking. What a stupid thing to bring up. Well, that mistake was rectified quickly and the loving afterwards was breathtaking. I wish that I could give a 10 for this chapter.

The stories have been great so far. 4⭐

Only one mess up was that if he is allergic to alcohol then how could he have been drunk with the girl he had a bad sexual experience with when he was younger?

Other then that boo boo I've enjoyed your stories. 👍

I really enjoyed the whole thing but loved fact that is was not so much a BTB story as a recovery and love story. I would liked to have seen one more chapter in which they meet the bitch and her kids in court and she realizes how much she lost. Keep up the good work. MtM

Some very much crap. What's the point of the parents disowning him because he didn't die along with his siblings? Have we established that his marriage is going to be annulled due to illegal actions by the twins mother? Otherwise, he's as much of a shit as she was. If the marriage never existed, then he's not currently practicing infidelity with Beth.