All Comments on 'The Geek and The Gazelle'

Firstly - ignore the racist remark left by the other guy. That was just hateful and dumb.

Secondly - pay attention to your grammar. I almost stopped reading after the first 3 paragraphs due to comma splices, spelling, sentence fragments, etc. In some places it look slike you typed it out as fast as you could and never went back for an edit. Editing is crucial. Watch for repitition and improper capitalization. I think you just need to edit yourself carefully and you could tune it up very well.

Thirdly - content. I can't judge the content harshly since that is the most subjective aspect of the genre. Not my cup of tea, but you didn't write the story for me. At times the dialogue seemed forced and unrealistic (but how much of the stuff on this site is realistic anyway?)

I hope some of that was helpful.

Ignore the bigot as they're normally foolish morons but this guy is a TOTAL ASS!

Disregard the bigots, it was a tender and interesting tale.

And he didn't need to have a 12" cock, just the talent to use what he had.

fine story, keep up the good work

These little well-built Black gals are definitely a hot fuck when they come after a white guy. So many times they are more or less forced, by their race, to take on a nigga cock, which many of them do not want anything to do with. If they cum after you and you are white, they will fuck you to death and continuously try to take your seed and grow your baby in their tummy. Some of the best ass I have ever had was with a black gal in prison when I was a prison guard. She was in for Life because she had killed her black lover, and she could not get enough of my white cock, especially when she found out that I had a low sperm count and could not make her preggie.

Disregard the bile, it's not a great story but it's awarm story.

It's still fascinating to see how color struck so many americans still are. eventually we'll outgrow it.

For the man that left that comment about black women, that's not true. Sure they're are a lot of overweightr black women, but dont think that other races are no the same. Black women actually age slowly than other races.Because when you see a black women in her 40's, she looks about 30 but when u see a white woman in her forties, she looks about sixty. So get your facts straight you dumbass. And I dont like the term of "nigger" that you used. I found it very offensive.

make it a little longer or add a second part...you can always work on the grammar etc, but the gist of the story was touching...

Are you fucking kiddin' me? Listen, to the author, your story was sweet. There's nothing I love more then a story about a white man and a black woman hooking up(for it is a fantasy of mine). Now to the bigot, the nerve of you, you white trash hill billie, Mechanical bull riding, stained wife beater with short daisy dukes wearing pompous piece of shit you. As a BLACK woman, I know for a fact that false allegation is exactly what they are, FALSE. How many over wheight white women you see wobbling around? hmm? Exactly, kiss my fine sexy black ass. And to the security guard, no we do not fuck white boys so they can get us "preggie" you fucking high school drop out. Some of us are actually plain interested in white males, hell I know I am. Because they are sweet and sexy as hell, well at least a good amount of you are...fuckin rediculous. Excuse my hostility

i couldnt even finish the story in my opinion that virgin girl didnt seem like virgin to me sooo yeaaah after the naked lickin shower thing i stopped reading it everything came on toooo fast

simply amazing. I'm so jealous of him, I want a relationship like that. It makes me really excited about making love to my chocolate gf for the first time.

nice

Not a huge fan of some of the comments. The only criticisms I have are the sometimes forced dialogue, as already pointed out, and some grammatical errors. As far as the tale itself, I gave it 5 Stars. I love my fiancé, and this tale reminded me of her. She was also a track athlete in HS. :)

A very touching story, nicely told. You rushed it a bit, trying to get right to the sex. Take your time. It'll still be there, and the readers will enjoy it even more after the anticipation. It was a bit too predictable that they immediately wind up being a couple, but we all want happy endings, don't we? As has been pointed out, you need a lot of attention to the mechanics of writing. One thing no one mentioned is that you used "shutter" when it should have been "shudder". That said, it is a sweet story of young first love and has some real potential if you'll pay more attention to cleaning up the details. I too would like to read more of their story.

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As for the morons who showed their ignorance and bigotry, get a frickin life for cryin out loud! Naturally, you did so anonymously because you are cowards as well. I can't add anything more to what the sister said to both of the morons. As a white man that is incredibly attracted to beautiful black women, I just want to say, "You go girl!" I also think I need to meet you.