by china-doll
of either excitement or erriness...very well done,erm, missy. this could be the beginning of a wonderful series. i hope you feel prompted to continue on with this one.
And a lot of creepiness. Good Luck in the contest, CD, and thanks for sharing.
FtF
Its needs something more, like a man among all these young women & not a gay guy either. Play it streight like all the old Vampire movies.
This was an extremely sensual and well-written tale, with one exception: there were consistent grammatical and punctuation errors. A few here or there could be overlooked, but the pattern was too much not to drop a point. I'll give this a 4, then, not the 3 that a less erotic and captivating story would have with the same mistakes. One has to factor the general quality of the plot and sex in, as well as pure grammar. I'm glad that I read this one.
needs a bit of editing here and there, but overall an intensely sexual read, with a good build up of the actual "act".
That was so hot I had to turn my AC back on.
Unexpected, but hot. It'd be better with more foreplay, especially breast-play.
And, tell your editor that SCARED means afraid, SCARRED (which is what you wrote) is what you are after an operation.
I really liked this story. It was such a good read that the few grammatical errors didn't bother me much. Please continue this story.
Kala gets taken by her sister Sara in a beautifully written tale of erotic Lust. Terrific Read!
As mentioned, the typos are a bit distracting, but overall an enjoyable read (in a cat that doesn't appeal to me, so very well done!).
Surprisingly sexy between sisters. I dont think that it needs a male, sensuous and sexual behavior between the same sex is also involved in a lot of vampire stories.--I
this was a fantastic piece. not over written, nice to not have any males in it, and very hot. I agree that the typos and other presentation errors were annoying but that didn't detract from the overall quality of an imaginative piece of writing
A+! I'd give you more, but that's the highest score in my gradebook! I enjoyed that immensely... And what actually made it touching is that despite being "turned" Sara was prepared to treat her mortal sister as something of an equal, which, to say the least, is unusual for any kind of vampire....
Wow... I don't know how I missed out on this story for so long. A perfect blend of creepiness and erotica... my hat's off to you :)
Wow, what a story, I give it 5 stars..!! Would be great if you could write a sequel or similar stories. Keep up the good work.
Hi. I was blown away by this. One Q. though - are we talking your garden-variety Dracula-type vampire?
Kayla was turned into a vampire slave slut by her sister Sara.Sara taught her about how to please their bodies and minds to complete exstacy!Her roommate Mandy came home to be also turned and learn about real Lesbian exstacy. Now three happy beautiful women with Sara as the Mistress and sexual pleasure their goal!
This was a twist but I was so turned on i am praying to god I have this as a dream tonight this is a really sexy story.
This has the makings of a wonderful series. I'd love to read more of this story.