by elsol
I find myself spending the better part of half an hour trying to find words to describe this piece. I cannot.
This is the second story I have read recently by this writer, and both were magnificent. As the previous commenter stated it is hard to find words to speak about this story. so I will just say Muchos Gracias.
This is a wonderful story. Oddly enough, it is only the sex scenes that are relatively clumsy.
I say forget the sex scenes, they really weren't necessary. True, the story wasn't a good fit as an erotic story. This story was as romantic as a story can be without the gratutious sex.
There are many kinds of love, and this story hit several without fail. The love of music intertwined with love of family, the love for a woman, and the heartbreaking images from his losses blended together passionately.
Thank you very much for sharing this story!
I loved this story.
While the erotica was well done, I agree with some of the other comments that it was not a good match for this story.
It was excellent none the less. The best I have ever read on Literotica.
Same problem here - lost for words. Excellent, deeply moving story. One of the best I've read here (and I don't say this lightly!) Erotic scenes? Well, not the best I've ever read, but good. But they are not what this story is about. I can't describe it - my English is not good enough for it.
Thank you for this story. Pieces like this keep up my hope for Literotica.
My god, that was amazing. I will admit as a male I had tears in my eyes near the end. I skipped over the erotic scenes as the real story is what held me. Cut the erotic scenes and get it professionally published.
Overall absolutely beautiful.
I hope you realize that you have a superb gift that far surpasses any talent any of the other writers have here. You should not be posting on an erotic site. You have the talent that your character does, to make the entire audience feel it. Just superb.
You can do with pen and paper what your protagonist does with the guitar. Need I say more...
Me conmovió esta pequeña historia, entrañada entre música y sentimiento, entre amor y pudor, la psicología del protagonista cantando furiosamente. Por primera vez me encontré leyendo este tipo de historias -- experimentando con el frustrar de seres incógnitos, fantasías irreales de mentes apasionadas. Si Ud., señor autor, lee este comentario, por favor escríbame a whattosay at gmail dot com, pero traduzca lo primero al español. Espero que Ud. logre encontrarme.
So raw. So much hurt and anger. And that is what makes it an amazing story. I think you can turn this into a novel and it would sell.
As an avid reader, and someone that enjoys this site, I have to say the power of this story was unexpected. Simply outstanding. I would hope an editor would read this and a similar story would follow.
For this site, the story is mind blowing. Writing beyond what is normally posted, but I hesitate to leave that as the standard for which to judge the story. If I read this somewhere else I would have probably dismissed it as cliched and overly dramatic. The timeline is a mess, female characters are hollow, its a mix of fantasy and reality that works in comparsion to other stories on this site, but I would hesitate before proclaiming it a great story in general. Probably unfair, but the story failed to stimulate me in either way, sexually or emotionally.
This story made me cry. I also liked the really clever verbal exchanges between the characters. Reading this was quite an experience.
So much beauty, pain and sadness. The knife-edge of disaster that each of us fears, with or without awareness. So much love, faith and humanity. Raw emotion and cogent insight.
This story is written beautifully on a level well above most commercial fiction. The content of the story is even more impressive. This is literature in the highest sense: art that expresses the meaning in human life.
I thank the author for his gift.
a heart wrenching story that delves into love, death, and survival.
An absolutely great story; full of heart-tugging emotion and a rare understanding.
Thank you for such a story.
HP
While I do have to agree with some of the comments, namely that the erotic part of the story had very little place, and that none of the other characters were developed, I still think it was stunning. You captured raw emotion in a way that is hard to do, and gave it a focus, and a purpose. If you were to develop the other characters, and remove the erotic scenes, I believe that this could easily be published. Good luck in your future literary endeavors, and never stop writing.
THE SUN OPENS AND ALL IS WELL. TK U MLJ LV NV an excellent rendition for all readers.
I would have enjoyed this story, but there was this underlying feel that the protagonist was a poseur all the way through. The whole, I'm the best but I don't give a fuck `cos I'm too profound and sad and mature routine... It felt fake. He's not really consistent in the way he treats Dacia, for example... it's never well explained when he sings (or not) to her, how long she breaks up with him for etc. And he decides to stay with her (and the other chick, somehow...) even though she doesn't care about him, but just about his potential fame?
As others have mentioned this is a master story but pedestrian erotica. The sex content should be deleted to allow publishing for the general public. To develop the other characters would diminish the emotional power of the focus on the protagonist. I could feel his emotional emptiness in a visceral way that built in the course of the story and would have been lost if interrupted by switching focus to other characters. The story does need a better title though.
Hmm. Looking at the author page it appears that he was very prolific for the first six months of 2005 and then nothing. I hope he graduated to publishing to a wider audience.
An astonishing story. You have an artful and economical way with the words, and the sensuality and emotion are handled beautifully. 5*
You are a splendid and moving erotic writer, and very much appreciated.
This is perhaps the best story I have read on this site, and I have read hundreds.
I have only been a member of this site for a day. Have only read a few other stories prior to this one. Have to admit, the hook for me was the title; I am a nerdy engineer, so the math got me - LOL!
Either way, the story had me staying up past my usual "Lights out" time just so I could finish it. Writing is unique and engaging. Characters are interesting and non-cliche. If this is autobiographical, my condolences and respect for your ability to convey. If it is purely fiction, bravo for the execution and ambition!
Will be searching for your other writings here, if they exist. Thank you!
This was the most touching story I have read in a long long time! Thank you for sharing this!
Heart-breakingly impassioned story of pure love. Tears just won't stop flowing.