by Cat5
a nice sweet story of romance.
but at the very end i think something was deleted - the special dessert. it feels like a paragraph or 2 was dropped by accident.
as far as the characters, i don't know how well a relationship built mainly on guilt or gratitude would hold up over time. but it seems to be growing into more than that.
And, the error appears to have been rectified. It was creme brule! Your stories, for the most part, provide welcome relief from much of the abusive, emotional or physical, stroke stuff posted on this site.
Thank you.
It is great to think there is someone kind and helpful to someone in dire need of help. Plus, it's a really good story of budding and blooming love.
It's not such a bad idea about the team concept, either. Info tech [developement] might like it!
Great story with a great ending.
Who knows what Brule is anyway!
A great story line and well developed. Definately worthy of a follow-up.
I agree with the other comments, the story was well developed and a joy to read. Just enough "heat" to make it good. Nice to hear something positive about society these days.
But I have the same feeling of something missing between "...special desert Mary." and him asking Holly to marry him. The special dessert being an engagement ring is a cup of ice cream or something of that nature? Any way, it was a very nice story and there should be a follow up, perhaps with the meeting in Maui.
J.
The writing matches the cookery and the burgeoning love - first rate. I hope you are considering, or are already in, a literary career. You have the talent.
Wonderful story. Romantic. Warm. Fuzzy. Made me feel good. Glad to see his restraint at the beginning. That allowed the relationship to grow.
It was like wandering through the rank sewage and crap and then suddenly finding a diamond shining through the muck. Thank you for the wonderful diamond you have given us.
The story deserves a 5X the the 5 rating.
This is the classiest story I have read to date and deserves kudos on the 5X level.
Great restraint in development of the characters.
Please do more of this type.
This probably the best story I read on this site in the four years I been here. Keep writing great stories with the great gift you been bless with.
A truely fantastic story, with all the elements that make up romance. The only thing you forgot was where the engagement ring was - on the dessert? Please keep writing stories like this.
You have the true gift of a writer...plot, character, style. and the ability to keep your reader entertained. The sex was almost secondary to the story, yet done in the taste that was typical of the rest of the story.
This is the first time I have ever commented...keep up the fine work!! I look forward to reading more of your submissions.
Excellent writing and story telling...wonderful combination of compassion, caring, understanding and romance...VERY tasteful and enjoyable treatment of the sensual aspects of the story.
Look forward to reading other stories of yours...keep writing.
Excellent writing and story telling...wonderful combination of compassion, caring, understanding and romance...VERY tasteful and enjoyable treatment of the sensual aspects of the story.
Look forward to reading other stories of yours...keep writing.
Cat5 - - - SALES TEAM has placed you in the same class as Rabbitrunner, Moondrift, Ronde, Mystery Writer, Telephone Man and a few others. The positive aspects of creating a work descriptive of being a decent human being willing to give others respect, opportunity, and responsibility in a world where all too many just go for the gusto, are the earmarks of a gifted author. Please accept my welcome into a small circle of favorite contributors. I hope to read more of your efforts of this ilk in the future. You gave me a pleasant Tuesday. Prof Ramstein
The detail expressed in this story makes one believe it's true. Easily the best story I've read in a long time.
Thanks
What a fantastic story. Well written and presented with just the right mixture of believable aspects and fantasy dreams.
very well done indeed
Once more you have outdone yourself. I have to disagree with the comments of one responder comparing you with some of the better authors on this site. You are a step above them.
P.S. Doesn't it bother you making grown men like me cry?
You did an excellent job of building up the characters, their backgrounds and their relationship.
A fine story.
Well done!
Cat5 has been on my 'favorites' list from the beginning. Each new Cat5 story reaffirms what I already knew: that this is the top romance author on Literotica.
"Sales Team" was just a wonderful story, full of romance, hope and love. I would say it's Cat5's best story, except for all those other masterpieces previously posted.
Cat5's stories are never maudlin, soapy, or sappy. They are honest, well-written, sensual and heartwarming.
"Sales Team" is one I'll read and read again.
Simply OUTSTANDING! Character and relationship development - what a concept - a slice o' life as we all wish it could be.
(Hands over a beer and a pat on the back...) Keep up the very good work!
I enjoyed Sales Team so much I am hoping you would continue the story.
Tobi
This is the only submission I chose to read twice. I found it amazingly good the first time.
But
When I chose to read it again, the same day, the final chapter had changed. Why? Part of what made it special (screw the friggin' food related details), was gone.
Gotta tell you, disappointed.
Hope it is corrected. Cause if this was done due to culinary discrepancies, the author really, really messed up on the deletion.
What you do is craft a great story. You take your time to develop the story plot line and the characters. Finally you make the story so interesting that it sucks you into it. You have to read it to the end, you simply can't put it down. Congratulations on your use of a very rare gift. Ronnie W.
Wonderful read, with just the right mix of romance and real life to make it more than just a story, but a drama that draws you into the characters and their lives. I hope you write more about them, and, for only the second time on literotica, find myself sincerely urging a writer to consider doing a full length book version of the story.
heart feel good that all the comments have been raves about you and the story and not about some nit picking item within the story. It is a wonderful story by a really good writer.
A great story from a very good writter. I can't wait to read more of your stuff in the future. I enjoyed this
When you feel wonderful after you read a story, you know the writer did a first rate job. This story has everything, romance, loving prople, great plot and happy ending.No wimps, no brutality,no rape etc. What a breath of fresh air. Thanks for writing this refreshing loveable story. 60 year old George
I am always left feeling good after reading one of your stories, and this one was no exception. These are two of your most endearing characters. Normally, I expect a story to have some conflict to overcome, some challenge to act as the obstacle. Your stories lack those elements and still manage to keep my interest and enjoyment. Thank you.
I'm glad I stumbled on Salamis' comment. If he says it's good, I know it will be and I was delighted to read it. The reaction of the readership again confirms for me how many people here appreciate a story rather than a list of anatomical connections. Conflict is always helpful but clearly well-drawn appealing characters can carry a story.
An outstanding story that mixes professional collaboration with physical satisfaction. Like foreplay, it lingers on primary details, taking its time leading up to the anticipated climax.
This is the kind of love story that everyone likes to read. You always like to see good things happen to people who do and say the right things. This story line settled close to my heart and just made for the kind of reading that I find so warming and touching. Guess I'm just a touchy - feely kind of guy.....Great story.
Very sweet love story. Touching. I found myself rooting for them as their relationship progressed. Thanks.
Awesome story! You put me in the story. I felt like a fly on the wall watching the whole situation develope. You should think about teaching or really publishing your work. Just release a Harlon Ellison type thing of numerous short stories and compilations. Keep it up!
Warm Regards
Michael
Very sweet and well-written. This would actually make a good mini-series or chick flick.
If you don't have your work published as yet, please do try and get it out. Your work is a lot better than most of the fluff out in print in the name of romance novels.
This story was MUCH better than the first place winner. In fact, it was probably the best story I've read at this site.
Just excellent.
I have just read this work, it is stunning, I am so sorry that you didn't win. I loved it, I don't understand how it didn't knock my work into oblivion.
Thank you for taking the time to share this with us, it was a privilege to read it and I hope to read a lot more of your submissions in the near future.
Very best wishes
Executive Gent
Iloved the way you let Holly's emotions waver and build into a confident person. It's rare to see that kind of character developement in real novels let alone short stories. This was romance with a "R" and a Roaring approval from those of us who took the time to read and enjoy.
Thanks for writing. JimDinMN
I'd give this a 90 if I could rather than 100. It's a good story, and other comments before mine express this well, so I won't repeat the merits. The problem I have is both Phil and especially Holly are a little too perfect. It seems that Holly, despite her own former problems and self-doubts, can do no wrong. It would have been interesting to have a small stumble of some kind to balance her a little bit -- perhaps she could have thought she found two software problems instead of one, and while one was a real problem the other was simply a misunderstanding of how a feature worked, which Phil could explain. It is a charming story though. I hope my slight criticism is taken in the right spirit, as I really do like the story.
intellegence is the sexiest thing about a woman - and it lasts
This was great writting and a joy to read. I look forward to more. Thank you.
I read it a couple of times when it first came out and I really liked it. I saw it when I was looking at some of your other submissions and decided to read it again to see if it lost anything. Nope--it moves and tells a good story and it still tugs at the ol' heart strings at the end. Guess I have a liking for the 'Knight Protector' thing.
Great job. JimDinMN
This is a great story and I loved how the relationship was developed with Holly.
It was very nice story. Just one nit-pick: After he mentioned his condoms that were in his bedroom, and decided it was maybe even a good thing if she noticed them, when the two actually made love in his bedroom, there was no mention of them. This was also a problem because the romantic setup and his obvious concern and care for her well being were somewhat contradicted. It was also obvious she was not on any other form of birth control, since she had no money, no doctor, no prescription in that State, not the slightest suggestion of anything like that. I realize that erotic fiction usually doesn't bother with this stuff, which is fine, but the fact that the condoms got mentioned sort of raised the issue in my mind. I figured the girl would be pregnant before the wedding.
It is strange that some might think that this is a little too perfect. Why should it be Holly that is too perfect when in fact it might be Phil. Maybe Phil should have a little stumble or maybe we should just let a good story stay a good story. It was nice to see a mix of intellect, with a few values and a thoughtful respect shared by two people slotted between a little humour and some erotic play. An enjoyable story… well done.
Matt64
Excellent endeavor, Cat5. This is one of the best stories I have read on this site. It would be a shame if you did not continue to develop your writing talents and perhaps persue a career in writing.
Best wishes!
Comments hell, it was heartrending and sexy and sensual and great.
OK! Chick Flick story narrated by a guy and it still sold this mature male.
Thank you for such a great read and emotions.
I've read this story 2 or 3 times before but never left a comment. I believe this is your best story and one of best posted on this site.
Boyd
Absolutely great! Just fantastic! Great piece of literature. I was feeling kinda down before I read this, now I'm feeling all warm inside. Thanks!
^_^ You're story was cute. It seemed to be a little to "perfect" in the story line and there were many parts I wish you had gone into detail or explained better. Like the salesman ship part in the beginning. At first I thought he might be a used car salesman or something. I dunno. And the whole sex thing... lacked passion and seemed unrealistic. Most women don't have instant cums or just take a few strokes and licks to get us off or begging for cock. For the most part and over all plot it was cute and you could defintely work on it to... as they say "thicken the stew". Hey tho, I'm not a great writer either but that's why I haven't uploaded any to the web because I know they're not good enough yet.
I think it's ten times I've read "Sales Team" and each time I get great pleasure from reading/re-reading it. It is a really nice take on the "rags to riches" theme and has 2 likeable characters. Thank you, Cat5, for this pleasure
Cat5,
I have read this story many times (8, 10, 12?) since you wrote it and I still works. Then I read through the comments and I have to say that if Executive Gent, Ronnie W, Rpsuch, and a few really talented authors like your work that much, I won't say much. This could easily be the best story on the site!
Thanks and I look forward to more.
I truly enjoyed this story...I like thte way that Phil loved Holly...WildWildBest
This is a truly beautiful story of fun, kindness and love. I really enjoyed it. Thank you!
Nookiehunter
stories I've seen in a long time! Wonderfully well written, warm and emotional. Bravo!
Kind of new here and only read about a dozen other submissions. I was just looking for some porno comparable to Penthouse Forum. BUT this warmed me all over and not just my... Anyway really gr8 reading vivid exciting!
I've read this story over and over again. Wish I could find a sweet sensitive guy like that.
and was impressed with the 800 and some votes. So I just had to read it. It's well worth the votes and the score. Great job.
Hi,
The stories you write are awesome. I am constantly scanning this site and stories online for your new stories. Please write some new stuff soon.
Thanks for writing the great story. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You really put a lot of time into it and I appreciate that.
One of the best stories I've read on Literotica, bar-none. The characters were great and their relationship was perfect. Thank you for a great read.
I really enjoyed this story - It rolled along at a very nice pace for a short story and has a huge 'feel good' after effect.
Wonderfully written, by far one of the best work. Love the characters. Thank you so much for the beautiful story.
I read your story because it appeared in the pop-up window of another submission, I really liked. Now I can’t even remember what the story was. Yours is going immediately on my favorites list. I don’t have to think about it. I know I will enjoy reading it again. It is an amazingly romantic, well crafted tale. I loved it. Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to write.
I started reading at 1:20am and couldnt stop until the end at 1:50am. Truly a gem of literacy. Thank you. A. from Malaysia
Loved it!!! the comment title describes your work and your characters and your ideas. So far, I have fell inlove with all of your characters...I really wanted to comment on the poker story but it wouldn't let me! :-(( Anyway, you are very talented please keep up the good work.
TC, LF
i tried multi-tasking between this and the olympics and your story won! i love your stories and would be very grateful for another story!
the second time I read it. The characters were wonderful, the situation believable.
All except that you included smart managers at 2 levels. They weren't just counting the sales, but asking questions of why. How rare. Of course for the plot line, it had to be that way. And including Mary the waitress was a nice touch.
Please write more.
I am a 65 year old Romantic man. This was a Fantastic Love Story. We need more of this.
Superb writing. Inspiring. Great characters, both believable, and dynamic. Wonderful story, that really inspires. You have learned much in living & you have readily used it to craft a superb tale. Keep writing, your work is superb and at a professional level.
Mr. Coco your comment is exiguous, attneded with no reasons & I suspect done at the instigation of a rival that wanted to win the prize. If that is the case, it didn't work. Try honing your talent. Your comment is very close to constituting libel. (this opinion is from a practising attorney in Ont. Cda.: & N. Y. S., U.S.A.)
This is simply the BEST story on this site and the best romance I have read.
this would make an awesome rom-com, women would lap this up if it came out in the cinema!
I absolutely adored the plot and the characters of your story!
I enjoyed how sex was secondary to the relationship aspects of the story; furthermore, I enjoyed the complex narrative concerning the world of business.
A great story!
Awesome! Best thing I read in ages...and if you could arange a Phil for me, so much the better!
I really reallt liked it! It was a nice story as well as sex, the target part made me laugh!
What a wonderfully told story. Easily the best erotic story I've ever read, and I've been reading them for 30 years. It appealed on so many levels.
If you never wrote again, you already have had a successful writing career, but I do hope to read more from you! If you could write screenplays, they would attract higher quality actors, and maybe porn could go totally mainstream.
Even though it a highly unlikely series of events, it was easy to suspend my disbelief. All the characters were engaging and likeable, the sex was nicely handled and the target was a riot - twice. I haven't read anything else by you yet, but I will in the next day or so. The subtitle <I>"Desperate woman tries to pay back man who saves her."</I> is what caught my attention. It was good that there were no contrived melodramatic issues cropping up causing temporary heartbreak followed by tearful reunions.
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<B><I>-- srgeek --</I></B>
its really a good story.i cordially congratulate author.well done........u r really a good writer.
I have read this several times and never left a vote. Should have. But never to late. Just wonderful. Thank you
This was easily the best erotic story I've read so far, this story made me feel so happy :)
Please keep on writing, I'd love to read more from you.
You should also think about writing screenplays, you'd be really good at it ;)
This was my second time reading "Sales Team". I liked it then and enjoyed it again.
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This story is full of gratitude, sexual tension, and deep satisfaction. I love it.
I was browsing the Romance Toplist and came to "Sales Team". I read so much that I forget story titles, but "Sales Team" seemed familiar. As soon as I read the first line, I remembered the story. I enjoyed it so much the last time that I read it again, I'm glad I did, it continues to be one of my top choices on the Literotica site. Thank you for writing and posting it.
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<I>-- srgeek --</I>
I believe I read Sales Team a number of years ago, but just re-read it as I was perusing the Romance Toplists. What a great story. A good mix of real life situations and fantastic(fantasy) sex.
A very good story. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop (cheating or something ) I like the ending
Initially I felt the circumstances in which how Phil and Holly met were kind of cliche and cheesy. But as I read on, the story just got better. I guess that's cos Holly isn't the usual damsel in distress and not overly horny like all the other stories on Lit (lol). Or maybe I'm just a sucker for success stories..
This story was exceptionally well written. Actually one of the best I have read in many years. I saw maybe two mistakes in grammar or spelling at most. The descriptions were good and the characters were great and believable. It started well and ended well. You are a very good writer and should continue to indulge in your gift. Good luck in future projects!
This story was really good, i love the way you built up the background story before they jumped into sex. the plot was amazing and your grammar was impeccable. keep it up!!
I have been reading stories on this site for several years. This is the best I have every read by far. You did a fantastic job of developing the characters before jumping into sex. That made it more real, as we watched them establish their relationship first. As in real life, holding off on sex until you establish a strong emotional bond makes it even better when you finally make love.
What a story, great writing and erotic as well, I could read these all the time