Monster

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Munachi
Munachi
95 Followers

They stepped into the hallway, turning on the lights.

"She cleaned. Wow, the place looks great," Katja said, as she went to the living room.

Then she stopped at the doorstep. A little cry escaped her mouth. Karsten followed her quickly, looking into the room over her shoulder.

On the floor, in the middle of the tidy room, there lay a figure, dressed in Renate's usual black and brown clothes, the face with hollow cheeks and closed eyes turned up towards the ceiling. They both stared at the motionless girl, whose face looked paler even than usual. Finally, Karsten went to kneel down behind her, and took one of her hands into his, searching for her pulse.

"Is she ... ", Katja choked back tears.

"I can feel her pulse," Karsten said, "But she is not moving. I will go call an ambulance."

He stood up. Katja nodded.

"I ... I will just turn the music off."

She went to the record player.

"Und den Menschen ... Und den Menschen ... "

She stopped the record. In the silence that ensued, they could both make out a whispering sound. They turned around to Renate. She was still lying motionless, her eyes closed, but her mouth was moving. Katja ran to her, sat down next to her, approaching her ear to her mouth.

"Ein Wohlgefallen, ein Wohlgefallen."

Renate wasn't speaking, she was singing in a soft voice.

"Renate!" Katja took the girls hand into hers, "Are you alright? Can you hear me? What happened?"

Renate stirred, then she opened her big, blue eyes. The colour seemed lighter, more of an ice-cold blue than usual.

Her voice now wasn't soft any more; it didn't quite seem hers, as she said, "Hello beautiful! Are you finally here?"

Then, Renate started laughing. A loud, shrill cackle that just wouldn't stop.

Munachi
Munachi
95 Followers
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13 Comments
ElPilaElPilaover 17 years ago
You are brilliant

Well done. I'm proud to be your friend. If I wasn't (unlikely chance) I would still be forced to acknowledge your merits.

Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskinover 17 years ago
Woe Is Me

Now I'm going to have bad dreams tonight and there's nobody around to comfort me. :)

But seriously folks, a fine piece of fiction. Good luck in the contest.

Rumple

kbatekbateover 17 years ago
Every one of your stories

Is better than the previous one. It is interesting watching you develop and grow as a writer.

Excellent story - I shall have to read your work in your native tongue someday.

RogueLurkerRogueLurkerover 17 years ago
chilling

An absolutely riveting story, you had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. Fantastic story, Munachi.

sacksackover 17 years ago
just wow!

I bow to your ever increasing genius (and writing ability!). Good luck in the contest!

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