All Comments on 'Merry Christmas Surprise'

Suggestion...stick to masturbating and leave writing to people with at least a hint of imagination.

Loser!

While the concept was sound, the execution of it left something to be desired. Please use a editor next time as a sounding board to help refine your word play.

This was quite awful... as someone said before me, the concept was good, the execution was the worst.

"I found your diaries." Oh please. It's been done. And quite frankly, it's been done much better.

"... to push her even higher to Mount Orgasm." You could have done without the "Mount" and though of something so much more erotic.

Amber telling her mother to relax was a just an extremely bad example of the younger person in the relationship taking control. She became a dom out of nowhere and you never explain her tendency to do this or her mothers lack of experience.

Lastly you never explain how drunk the mom got before she did this... I'm assuming that's what it was... that or she's just off her rocker.

As your other commentor said... at least after reading this story... you need to stick to masturbating and leave the writing to the people with some imagination and intelligence.

I would be "Afraid" to post my name too if I didn't have any constructive criticism. Two people griping out of three ISN"T bad. Well I for one liked it even though you could have done a better job builting up to the climax, all in all not bad. I for one would like to see another chapter of this one.

Paul

You've covered my three favorite topics, incest, lesbianism, and anal, throw in a little rimming and pregnant fetishes, and I'm sold!

Why is it everyone expects Shakespeare now, it's just a fun story, how about a "Good try" some encouragement would be nice wouldnt it? I thought it was a fun story, I'm not here for prose and grammar. I like a bit of lack of detail so I can fill in the blank with what appeals to me the most. To all the critics, go write your own and prove you can write better or leave them alone.

You are one terrible writer. Do you want me to pretend you're William Faulkner and give you a little prize? Sorry. Stay at home and practice.

"oral orifice" Brilliant.

A FUCKING SKANK LESBO mentall illness story? YUK!!!