All Comments on 'Joy'

I thought the stroy was horrible. It didn't arouse me at all. The beginning had nothing to do with the rest of the story. I expected mind blowing sex, i wanted it. I was truely dissapointed. A total waste of my time.

A three pager for a contest? You've a LOT of nerve. (I did it, too.) An interesting story with an unexpected ending. Nice work, neon. ~Imp

Seems to have a been written in a bit of a rush, needs some minor editing. But still, very interesting, with a surprise ending!

I liked it a whole lot. The first part was superb. Loved the exploration first time. Second seemed a bit rushed, I think but has great potential. As others have said ending was great. esl

Sad ending, but the ending made it real. Sounds like it's based on something real, too. Good job... I like the way it flowed

Is this just the first chapter, or is the story over? I for one hope there will be a second installment.

It's well-written, especially at the start. You have a way with words. I didn't mind the lack of sex. I just minded the ending, which seemed too abrupt for my liking.

Liked it a lot, especially the ending. If there really was a feeling of it being rushed, I think it might have come from the fact that you mentioned it up front. It's a quite fine piece of work just as is.

I enjoyed the story but I found the ending rather unsatisfying. I think he should have been more understanding and forgiving, given everything that had gone before.

I know you emphasised how athletic Joy is but I couldn't see all that activity taking place inside an Austin 7. An Austin 10, 12 or 16 perhaps, but a 7? Maybe it is my own memories. I knew a hockey playing Joy. She and I could never have done anything in an Austin 7. Just getting into the car would have been a struggle. However I did have an Austin 16 - much more practical...

Neon,

IMHO, your story is good. Except for the too abrupt ending, it's very good. But it could be great. The prose is like a high-wire act, damn impressive but it's easy to fall off. Think about submitting this for critique on the Story Discussion Circle. And thanks for the read.

Rumple

A very interesting story about first times. In fact a lot of first times. LOL

I liked reading it.

Good luck.

How easily led. Why does the sex that professes emotional need constantly buy into the bullshit of fame reflected off a man? This story is so true to life.