All Comments on 'Halloween - Two Wizards'

Somehow, the down to earth mention of the lubricant took away from the other worldly quality of this story. Kind of like mentioning a condom in a story. Otherwise, very good. Good luck in the contest!

Personally, I am glad you did not add 20k words and call it a romance. *snickers* It was a very realistic and fun story with plenty of romantic elements and a great drive to the sex.

I would have called this a romance and I loved every word of it! And yet, it's a story with realistic details, like her breasts, and the lubricant. This is a kind of romantic reality, and there should be lots more of it! Well Written!

This story was great fun. The details were interesting and the ideas are delightful. I loved the ending, although it is the development of the story that makes it so sweet!

This is a delightful little story. Wish I'd written it! You can write the pants off anyone on this site Tony! My title refers to the reader who suggested that if it had been 20k words and called a Romance, it would have been a dud. I wonder if s/he has read your absolutely to-die-for Romance! Go read it everyone! And swoon!

This could have been a pretty good story, if you hadn't bollocksed it up. I could overlook her name-- Francis is a bloke's name, women spell if FrancEs. No big deal.

But then you wrote, "I moved forward; forward so I could hold her, in my arms, pressing myself against her, knee to mouth, cock to belly." Huh? If you walk up to a woman so you're pressed against with your cock on her belly, how are you going to put your knee in her mouth? Or were you licking her knee? Tongueing your own, while she kissed hers??

Instead of sex, all I could think of was some sort of insane yoga position, or maybe a Twister game on drugs. Not sexy.