by oggbashan
Love to hear more of the humiliations he endured as mere feminized ex- macho male hero now serving girlishly at 'women's work' while now only HALF THE STRENGTH OF ALL THE OTHER HANDMAIDENS!
I thought this story was absolutely gorgeous. Good pacing, built up from a slow beginning, I thought that the was story about Heracles and Omphale would be absolutely gorgeous (and it was). I love things that subvert or reverse things, and I can just imagine a gorgeous queen dominating the big strong hero. There was a gentleness to everything that I really enjoyed; the dialogue, the pacing, the sex, all seemed very gentle, very tender. Wish the story had more likes, it was excellent.
I've always been a sucker for anything involving classical mythology (greek, roman etc) and thought this was a pretty good effort at using that kind of background to create an effective story. Two points:
1) I thought all the backstory at the beginning seemed a little too long, it seemed to detract from the story. Why not think about cutting it out a little?
2) Dialogue: The dialogue was, on the whole, pretty good and suited the style that you were creating, but I felt that it was in parts, too long.
But, overall, a very good effort
I think it's the dialogue or something, but something about this story didn't impress me. Whatever it was, it wrecked the whole experience for me.