All Comments on 'Finding Beatrice'

Veronica,

Such a lovely story. Flowing evenly as we see a young man trying to satisfy his lust for the female form by taking Art Classes. Found the ending especially sweet when he found his Muse - his Beatrice. Wonderful Story.

duddle

and I thought it well plotted and written. However, you have a number of spelling errors and mechanical problems to work on. Plat form should have been platform and you have trouble with there/their; here/hear types of words. Proofread, proofread, proofread!

A beautiful, up-close rendition of feelings: the flickering to and fro between viewpoints, not quite separated but integrating into each other like shards of light. It really captures the uncertain intensity of the experience.

I read a lot of stories on the net . . .I don't have a lot of time for fiction but the occasional randy contribution is good for the soul!

This . . .this transcends all the crap I have gazed upon . . .the tawdry epics of male fantasizing badly disguised as from a female viewpoint . ."Take me up the ass, pleeeease!" . . yeah, right . . .they all beg for dire damage to their sphincter . . . .

But this . . . .I was astounded . . .I am so impressed I am going to send the URL to every man, woman, child and fertile dog and cat I have email addresses for . . .I am still amazed to have read such a piece . . I think I will quit while I am ahead and stop looking at porn forever!

Liked the way you got such a sensous take on a well-covered theme. Could have done with a bit more editing, though.

Good luck.

Good job of writing, especially the handling of all those POV switches. Good luck in the contest.

Rumple

Absolutely worth a little more care with editing, at last a story that really fits the contest theme. Even with the occasional flaw, this is one of the few contest entries that definitely deserves a "5".

Definitely a diamond in the rough. Great ideas and great images but a little editing would make it easier to read and would add a lot to the flow of the piece.