by JakeRivers
I totally enjoyed this beautiful heartwarming story. The characters were written in such a well-defined way. The ending quite pleasant and enjoyable.
Jack,
It's a perfect tale for the season and told in your usual excellent style. Thank You. Ronnie W.
It isn't often a story touches my heart but you have succeeded. You, sir, are a gifted writer. Thank you for sharing.
Rarely does a story cause tears to come to my eyes. Reminds me of some of the mistakes I made in my own life. Thank you for reminding me that we should all do better than we have in the past.
Paul
I totally enjoyed this beautiful heartwarming story. The characters were written in such a well-defined way. The ending quite pleasant and enjoyable.
Well DJ, I don't know what happened but my comments seem to be a 'copy' of those posted earlier by Duddle 146. Very confusing!! What I meant to say was, "this incurable romantic was honoured to read such a beautiful and heart warming tale. It brought tears to my eyes. I look out each week for anything new from such a fine writer." Sorry for the confusion and apologies to Duddle 146! Pete.
I do so applaud your moving romance. Very well written without a lot of superfluous additions of grandeur.
It was a great romance but also a harbinger of carefully stored memories of a past lifetime.
Personally this story has brought back a lot of remembrances of four different occasions in my life and they all brought a melancholy realization of how wondrous and sometimes-painful human experiences are.
Thank you very much for sharing this great effort of yours.
With very high regard
PT
Like peatbog it brought a tear to my eye as well, it was very nicely done and worthy of praise
An extremely well crafted story. 'Nam screwed some guys up, but the rest became men. A great read. Good luck in the contest.
What a wonderful story of personal growth and the desire to change from what one once was. It was beautifully written and heart-felt. This story reminds us all that the past isn't set in stone as long as you have enough love in your heart to try and change it.
DJ, The quality of the writing is, as always, top-notch, and this is such a lovely little romance that I almost hate to pick this one little nit, but it is a key error in detail that did detract some from the story.
The Dukes of Hazzard didn't come on TV until the mid-70s, well after the Vietnam war was over. So Jenny couldn't have gone to the dance as Daisy Duke.
I'm thinking that perhaps you had Daisy Mae from the Lil Abner comic strip in mind, which would have easily fit into the time frame that the story took place.
Like I said, it's a small thing, but that was such a big part of the plot that I thought I needed to bring it to your attention.
Wow! already two stories in the contest. Very nice read and good luck in the contest. If anyones's stories deserve a little extra praise, it's your's.
Kudo's as always.
DG Hear
I think I'll be anonymous this time. Don't want people knowing I'm pulling for you. lol
I admit... I had to stay into the read at first just to see where this tale went and I am glad I did... for little billys sake <bigrin (~_~) nice write... good luck and merry christmas
The topic is not particularly interesting to me, but you certainly have explored it to the fullest!
I didn't like Billy at first... but he grew on me as he started to grow up. Beautifully done. I've always enjoyed your writing and this story is no exception.
Thanks for another heartwarming story that tends to restore a little faith in human nature. Thanks from another old incurable romantic who went into the military at 18 full of
piss and vinegar, and came out 3 years later a much maturer and wiser man.
Man, I love your stories, and this one is another winner. I liked the story line a lot. It's well written and long enough to develop the characters properly, but not too long to overwhelm the reader. Thanks for sharing this story!
Great story, somewhat predictable, but very nice anyway.
<P>
<I>-- srgeek --</I>
This story was good, but she forgave him way too fast with no details why? In reality if some asshole gets you pregnant, and called you ugly afterwards. You wouldn't go through life kind of hating him and at the same time loving him. The only person who could love and forgive somebody that fast after something like this is Jesus Christ. This just wasn't realistic. I didn't just write this to tear you down. I just wanted you to know how far you can go. If that makes sense?
thank you for a lovely story. many of us have been real shits as teenagers and young adults. age doesn't make us adults, experiences do. thank God some of us actually learn for our experiences and matue into adults. some of us actually get to make amends for what we have done. we make amends but can't ever forget. once again thank you
Aww, this was just too sweet. I wasn't sure what to anticipate and honestly, I was praying something bad would happen to Billy too. Just so he could wake up and truly experience what life was about -- he slightly reminds me of some of do no good back in their teenage days classmates. Anyhow the war really transformed him for a better and what a struck of luck Tom was his professor! I'm glad there was a happy ending since Billy really did grow up. : )
All the more so when we spent too many years failing to think about what we did or who it might affect -
We work so hard nowadays to make it pain free - that is no service to those doing the growing -
1. it is not possible to succeed - and the "good" effort serves little purpose
2. failure leads to more pain in the long run - (unprepared children grow in to unprepared adults)
3. pain is an excellent teacher - you need to be supported well enough to survive the lessons
Does that seem heartless - well tough - we do not develop compassion just 'cuase - we learn it from seeing it and you will not see something if there is no contrast - light exists only against the dark - good exists only in contrast to evil - you will never learn nor appreciate the value of something if there is no price for it not being there -
Protect those around you from death and critical injury, help them through trauma and abuse - but let them learn and grow and become better -
Billy Sucked he grew up - more than a little late but he did -
Thanks fpr a great story -
wow wat a transformation! i love stories like this and urz was 1 of the best! thanx =)
War will do that to a man. But after everything he had done to her, the minute Tom realizes who he is I don't think he makes friends with him and the whole thing never takes place. But I enjoyed your fantasy.
No matter how Billy-Boy acted after 'Nam, he had shown his stripes at the frat dance. He should have had his balls taken off with the shrapnel. Once an asshole, always an asshole.
I thought this story touched upon some very painful, yet still very tender subject matter, old friend. It also clearly shows that people can change if they're honestly wiling to put forth the effort do so. Thanks for writing this tale, Jack; great job
MoogPlayer
He obviously considered her ugly back in school and used her but now that she knows how to dress and has more confidence about her appearance he's attracted to her?
Billy just didn't mature that much. Yes he grew up some, but he really hadn't spent that much time living real life. College is a time to mature. His service in the war made him grow up a lot. But in Jenny's shoes I'd never take him back or even tell him he had a son. And it was just too far a stretch to have her step brother find Billy at school and realize who is was. Even for fiction that was too far a leap.
Very good loved it lime many of your stories very good. It is even somewhat believable. Very very good.
Very rarely get tears in my eyes, I've got em now! It's been a long time since I've read a Beautiful Humbling Romantic Story like this ! A Massive Thank You Jake Rivers 5 Stars★★★★★ WOOF!
I suppose things can change,A son together can facilitate that,But,how could she ever rise above the scar,and abandonment,that he'd heaped upon her several years before?
I suppose that the pain they'd both felt from his actions in "The Dogfight" and recognizing it in each other,allowed them to find a special love,partly thanks to the son that resulted from that initial circumstance.
Certainly heart-warming in its conclusion! ~ 5+
at this moment the laughing Gods decide, TK U MLJ LV NV
I liked it but I’m not sure the ending was very realistic. I’m sorry but treating a young woman like Jenny was treated is about as cruel a thing as I can imagine, without actual physical violence. If that’s a common practice of fraternities, then they should be banned from college campuses. Then there was Khe Sanh. What a glorious clusterfuck that was. Two regiments of Marines, with a few Army and Air Force troops thrown in, surrounded by more than two divisions of NVA. 77 days of siege. First time all three battalions of the 26th had fought a battle together since Iwo. It was kind of like the Alamo. Except we had air support and long range artillery support. Thank God.
What an asshole and I didn't join a fraternity at college for that reason. Someone needs to stuff theie heads up their asses so they can see how big an asshole they are.
Khe sahn definitely a clusterfuck. Was in nam not there but was involved with trying to supply. Fire so intense that supplies dropped and hopefully hit our troops not enemy. jtwheels
Another great story By Jake. And thanks for the reference to Khe Sahn. I joined up with the 26th Marines some months after the battle and already the legend of that battle was building into what would become known as The Siege of Khe Sahn. And the epic Battle of Hue City wasn’t far behind. Fifty odd years later those two stories are icons in the lore of greatest Marine Corps battles. Thanks again for your story, Jake, it’s another one of your best. 5⭐️s.
Dee
P1 forcing her to drink when she said no...thought he's a real ass...I realize there are some good fraternities-his sure isn't one...disgusting contest
BILLY WAS AN ASSHOLE TO JENNY!!
FORCING HER TO DRINK WAS A READ ASSHOLE MOVE!!
BILY BASTARD SHOULD HAVE MET HIS KARMA FOR WHAT HE DID TO JENNY!!