All Comments on 'Destiny Awaits'

Does the story continue?

Swedeq

please make a sequel asap!

i really like the plot but try and extend it. everything's moving a little too fast. i don't mind if you make the story longer!

one quick thing though: when did we learn his name? it just kinda said "said Erromas"...

other than that, very good job! keep it up!

Maz

You have oodles of material that is begging to be further developed. You might want to break up that one very long paragraph at the beginning, and elsewhere separate dialogue from the larger body of a paragraph to improve readability. Good luck!

The effect of the story would have been much greater if it was easier to read. A general rule here at Lit is if a paragraph has 4 sentences in it, it's long enough. Any more than that, it's too long and therefore will be hard to read, to the chagrin of your would-be fans.

... will the tables be turned? When will he become hers to command? When will she get to CHOOSE her mate?

I enjoyed reading your story. I hope it's only Chapter 1 of many to come. Thank you for sharing.

The word you meant to use was "betrothed", not "betroved".

Very interesting start, now let's see where your story takes us!

I took us no where... why did you leave it dangling? The story had great possibilities!