by Alex756
This was good, and certainly different. I thought the end was a bit abrupt, as if the protag already knew who he was and who his father was, but hadn't yet proved it. I suppose it goes without saying that the blonde became pregnant.
with erotic mix, I enjoyed this story, thanks (~_~)Vivid imagry and well written.
This was a very well written tale. It makes me wonder if you would only write Erotica. If you write mainstream they would sell like hotcakes. Excellent in imagery, detail, plot, and other "mundane" details. Bravo! Do we get an encore?
*smiles*
Hiya Alex....
Lovely story... and the tag line is just a tease...
Good luck in the contest.
Always, E
story you wrote. I liked it, but wished you had told us who his father was. Hopefully, you plan to write a sequel.
Good luck.
Alex, I really like your story. I feel that you have the talent to right many more stories. I like the voyuer part best. I really loved it. Mojoworkin
as someone else mentioned, this was well-written. I wish you luck on the contest.
The text was well written. This is the first Demonology story I read, so it took a couple minutes to get that Mark was a demon or half-demon or whatever, which was pretty cool.
The voyeuristic part was the best erotic material for me, but once Mark starts interacting directly with the girl, I stopped caring for it. I generally don't like blood/violence in sex as part of stories and don't like non-consensual sex either. One could argue that the girl consented but I felt she was being deceived, which to me makes it non-consensual.
Again, the writing was good and it was definitely creepy/scarey. But it was not my cup of tea.
I'm glad you entered the contest. Extremely well done, with an impressive command of the language and a vivid imagination.
Good luck :)
Good luck in the contest ... and wherever you take Mark. ;)
~Imp
I must differ with the previous commenter. Although violence and sexuality are a volatile combination, they are volatile for a reason. They possess great depth and resonance, especially in a story like this where they are used to excellent effect in conveying the elements of danger, sensuality, decadence and penetration inherent in mingling of sexual desire and fear. This offers a good rendition of the classic demon lover/innocent virgin pairing, and it reminds us why that is so enticing.
for once, a real story. Easy reading and appealing characters. Good luck with the contest!
Wow. I knew you had a grasp of the language, and I'm glad to see that you're using it for something. Neatly done.
Very original and well-plotted. Hope you do well in the contest.
Rumple Foreskin
I want to read more!!!
Great mix of everyday life and erotic sensations with surprising twists.
How often haven't I felt that "They'd all be holed up, worried Satan would come for them if they dared sin on this night." is the best way to describe people I meet all too often? :)
A good story with lots of detail and description. The sex was hot too! Good luck!
Cookie :)
I liked the intro, and the sex, and the end. only wish was that it was just a tad longer. more of everything. =)