All Comments on 'Daphne's Crush'

Excellent story. I’m a romantic married more than fifty years.

Honestly, I liked the first half most -witty dialogue, logical and realistic action. Daphne’s age became an issue later— she isn’t legal to drink, so her presence in the bar makes less sense, as does her wine in her apartment. It’s also less plausible that his sister and cousin are so supportive of a relationship with someone who is only just out of high school. Everything would still have worked if she had been 20, or even 21. The speed with which Mike fell in love and decided to commit to her also did not ring true. Time gaps can be useful.

But still a very sweet romance.

My my my I would have given you 5 stars as it was funny BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO THINK ABOUT THE SEXUAL POSITIONS HE CAN’T BE SUCKING ON HER TITS IF HIS BALLS ARE SLAPPING HER CLIT THINK ABOUT IT RE READ YOUR STORY

Michael seems like an arrogant entitled prick to Daphne.

Next chapter? Okay, I'm another "hopeless romantic".

Can't be over...

You are a good writer and I enjoy you're stories. But this one leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like the manipulation. IMHO, you make your own decisions about love, right or wrong, good or bad, and live with the consequences. I wonder if somewhere down the line - when doubts about the relationship come in - does he wonder if he wasn't partly railroaded into it.

And one other small point about the question of Hell - either it exists or it doesn't. Her answer about "It exists for her but not for him" is ridiculous! That's like saying - when they went to the city on the train - that the Italian restaurant she wanted to eat at existed only for her but not for him. That when they show up at the corner of 46th st and 8th ave that she sees a restaurant, and he sees an empty lot - which is ludicrous! Either it's there or it's not. Something exists or it doesn't - something is true or not - regardless of your belief about it's validity.

End of rant...

Except for the question of virginity, this could have been me and the love of my life. The fumbling. The false starts. The miscommunication. But also the wise-ass sense of humor and, in the end, true love. It’s all entirely believable because half a lifetime ago I lived it. All of these decades later, she’s still the only one for me. These two have really good odds of coming to the same outcome. 5 stars.

What happens next ?

Nice premise.

Beautifully written.

Sex was more 'sweet' than 'erotic'. Would have liked more details -- particularly with the foreplay.

Fiur stars.

Second time around, just as good as I remembered, many thanks

What a sweet story! I loved it!

A+ my good man.

Wonderful story!

I truly enjoyed the plot. Falling in love is a special experience and you gave us another fun option. Thanks for sharing your imagination.

DP

Proofing makes the difference between good stories and excellent stories.

Incredible! We need more.

I would like for you to continue this story. It is such a interesting and enjoyable one.

Which you clearly need to do: read it out loud.

Was great and well told great job!

What a great story. I have read it 4 times now and laugh at the banter every time. Here is a girl that knows what she wants and is willing to put her self out there to say it and to sell it. Loved the story and gave you a "5" only because there is not an option for a "10". Keep surprising us.

Loved it. Bringing together family, love and jokes. Awesome job! Keep it up!

... a love story with sex in it, rather than the other way around!

I liked it, quips, sarcasm and all.

5 *'s.

I thought you wrote a very good story. I do have two comments, though.

I couldn't definitely find where she said "yes" to his marriage proposal.

Although entertaining, I thought the constant quips and sarcasm got in the way of real conversation. After awhile, I found myself searching for the story rather than the distractions.

Enjoyed this very much. Good work. Off to read the rest of your stuff!

But a part 2, I don't know how you could improve on perfection. But what ever you do, keep writing. You are very talented

This is such a good story I would love to see a part 2

great story. would be nice to see a follow up. I'd like to see how far Daphne will open up to new things ...

Favorited, and happily ending my reading with this story, still smiling.

J

Must be nice to raise your wife, even if he didn't know it...

I'm no writer. I can not wax poetic about how this story moved me and is so beautiful I read it again monthly.

Why I can do l, is give it five stars and a nod

I can read it again . Read it for the fourth time, and love it as much as the first time.

Honestly, in all the years I've read on this site; this is probably my favourite story. It's beautiful.

A lovely love story! Thank you!

A well paced story with 'real' characters and situations.

I do have a couple of points I would like to make.

Self editing is an extremely difficult task and the errors in your story made it feel like it was written an amateur even though the story was well crafted.

Secondly, most 18 year old women don't have bovine like udders. Writing about huge breasts and huge cocks does not enhance a story and it does quite the opposite.

Great dialogue. Rich character development and I think nothing was forced. Would be great if you do another chapter or two.

great job of pointing out how dense some of us guys can be, I know

Proofreading: A trick I learned was to read my material backwards, it forces the brain to focus on each and every word and check for spelling/usage

Love that it relied on story more than passion descriptions.

You do need a copy editor to correct your fixey-poos!

Too many to ignore.

i wish there were more stories like this. i know for a fact that there will be so long as you keep writting. thank you.

Nice story.

Reminded me "of human bondage" for some reason. keep writing.

boring

An easy one for Favorite Story category 10*

Its the best story I have ever read on Literotica. It was sweet and romantic I wanted it to go on and on forever. If you could please write a few follow ups about their experiences together as a married couple and honeymoon. Can't wait for the next one if you actually write them. Sorry if it was very long.

I think it's my most favorite story I've read on Literotica this far!

I was sad when I reached the end. Wanted more to read!

Good job, Joe. Make it an excellent job, Joe. Thank you for writing. I am a jaded old reprobate who enjoys a sweet story sometimes.

Well i started reading this story because i wasn't exactly feeling sleepy ... Its morning now and I have no idea how the time passed. A really good one.

despite him being a total prick at times he finally realised he did love her and wanted her....but hell it took him long enough to realise it....full of humour and pathos...loved it...his family were a hoot...

I get it. Daphne and Olivia are the same person and the families are too. I love how you lead into the differences. Good choices. Lots of good fun. Thanks.

for sure one of the best stories ive read. thanks alot

Very nice to read a love story instead of a sex story.

Seriously. 'Cause this story deserves it.

You have a good command of conversation and pulling the reader this way or that. The sex was pretty good as well.

Thank You

HP

Honestly, I felt so into it. Everything about it was terrific! It seemed as if everything that Micheal felt, I felt. (Take that however you want.) Keep up the great work man!

Wonderful story!!! I would normally have lost interest long before the love making ... but in spite of the fact that it seemed a bit too perfect at times in the beginning, I couldn't stop reading and wishing it was me.

this is the most awesome and amazing story i've ever read in this site. never mind what other -ves say, this was a truely spellbinding story. normally i skip the descriptions and go straight into action parts, but in this one i didn't miss a single word. simply amazing. if there were ten stars to rate, i would give all ten to this one.

Generally the foundation of the story is great and the characters presents a great wide range of characteristics. However, the story feels like you started out with a goal in mind and only thought of ways to make that happen. For example; nosy people pushing them together, coincidences etc.

But the thing that really sorta ruins it for me is the fact that you seem rushed to get there, it would have been a hundred times better if you had let the premises of their love develop naturally rather than rush it. Furthermore, her being totally in love with him even after six years with no contact whatsoever? Him falling for her basically immediately after Janice? Him suddenly getting over Janice at the drop of a hat after spending a day with Daphne?

It just seems to unrealistic and therefore comes across as much less of a great love story than it could've been.

I love stories like this stories that may take some time to build just like a good orgasm, this story was amazing I hope you write more just like this.

Your took time building a great story line. Normally I don't like stories that go on for 6 pages but this one really kept my attention. I think it was really good.

Forget about what the last guy said, this story was fucking amazing. It was SO cute, yet still hot enough to be on this site. Truly amazing.

First the good. It's believable. The story makes sense and so do the characters. You have that much going for it. But the negatives overwhelm. It had the feeling of a guy trying to write a sensitive story for a female audience and falling way short. It took forever to develop the story line. Probably could have been shortened by at least 1/3. The dialogue was trite and got tedious around #4 and got really bad in #5. Not a bad first effort, but if this is a sample of your later stories, you may want to keep your day job.

Gr8 story....simply loved it... maybe coz deep down evn m a romantic !! xD

She dumps the guy to become a nun? Now there's a classic. Talk about taking the guys ego and stomping it into the pavement! I liked it.

You did a nice job of moving the characters to the end, and kept it at the honorable man level. He's toast, but looking for reasons not to potentially wreck this girls life. Very nicely done.

The sex at the end was very tastefully done. I don't know if we can forgive you for that, but it carried the story to a very well written conclusion.

Thanks for a great story!

A story that really captivates every reader's imaginations and insights! It was a great story! Keep them coming! Wonderful!

One of the best stories I've ever read here. I'm realy glad I found it/stumbled across it. I hope you write LOTS MORE!

BobM

Really good, well written story. The love making flowed out of the story rather than the story being a box in which someone put a description of two people having sex.

Wonderful!

Stupendous!

Thank you!

It's a wonderful work. The best part is that I could connect to the character myself as many of his monologues are common to me. This is most important, particularly in a romantic story, and you sir have nailed it! Hats off!

What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing it with us

I had read your "A Lifetime of Valentines" before and thank God, this wasnt a tear-jerker. A man can only moisten his eyes so much, no matter how hopelessly romantic he is or how much he loves your characters.

This is definitely a feel good great romance story.

Tc,

Div

Great story. Good to see some good romance stories in here, even though Michael was an ass. ;)

And, wow-wow-wow-wow.

I read a lot on this site, and often the 'drawn-out' romance-based stories bore me so quickly. I was lucky to have the story spinner throw this one at me; it reminded me so much of my first time (with a line or two of exactly matching dialogue, haha). I identified with Daphne by default, but I had more of Michael's doubtful attitude... Such a hot story. :)

I'll be on this site as 'sometimes_innocent' soon; just sayin'.

couldn't stop reading once i started!

I really like preciuoskitty's comment about haters. Its a work of fiction on a sex fanfic site, not some literary journal.

Keep writing =)

Great story, romantic and funny.

I really liked this story. I kind of knew I would in the beginning but as I kept reading on, it got better and better.

As for the haters, keep in this mind: it IS a story. Anything goes. No rules apply to fiction. Some of you act like you're reading a full blown autobiography! Get a grip!!

Wait for it! The sex is hot, juicy, and a ton of fun. But the wonderful love story leading gently up to it is the important thing, making the sex all the more perfect for Michael and Daphne, whose attraction grows to friendship and then to desire, then lust, then deep love needing both to give and to get, then dazzling skyrockets. They may well have a shot at lifetime passion. I love it!

that was probably one of the best stories i have ever read. SO AWESOME!!!

What a sweet, honestly evocative, sexy story. Very well written, and probably the best story I've read on here. Bravo!

At the risk of seeming cynical, the topic and execution may not be entirely believable and yes trite. Yet the characters and story became entirely endearing. A very pleasant read.

Great read. Here's to Joe, and here's to countermanding that zero.

Obviously, most stories on this website are woven about sexual themes, but a large percentage of them go something like this: Man sees girl, girl sees guy, they have great sex -- the end. At least this one has a romantic plot, and still delivers on the sex theme.

What are stupid are the comments from ‘09/10/08 Anonymous in USA’. It is apparent he has no heart, no romance, and no idea what it is to love something immediately. Does he spend months deciding if he loves a book, a movie, a teacher’s intellect? Why than is knowing you love a person any different? Michael might have STDs?? How STUPID is this? The story is clear Michael had only four women, three whom he loved and all relationships were long ago. If there had been any STDs then Michael or his lovers would have known by now. It is a shame we can’t delete the score ‘09/10/08’ left. It takes five 100s to counteract one zero. STUPIDDITY is allowing a STUPID PERSON like ‘09/10/08’ to hurt the score of one of the best authors on this entire website! JoeDreamer’s only drawbacks are spelling and some grammar and that can be easily fixed by using a competent proof-reader. Imagination, character building, and story development are gifts and that is what JoeDreamer has. ‘09/10/08’ has none of these.

Good length, good story...

This story wreaks of stupidity. Whatever happened to people using their heart and HEAD at the same time! They only know each other a couple weeks? He takes he virginity and they ride off into the sunset of love? Give me a break! She is 18! and she could be possibly pregnant with an std because she fucked her sisters ex boyfriend! wow that's romantic! nice try.

Liked it, although it could have been shorter. Good job!

Really enjoyed the story .. it was a well written and Fun to Read

Good Work

Thanks for a wonderful story. You give hope to all romantics out there with a story like this. Especially when the romantic is a cynic as well. Thanks also for keeping the mental agonising to a bare minimum im sure people do enough of that in their own lives that they dont need to entirely relive it in a story

I am a romantic therefore i found this story not only erotic when necessary but romantic and wonderful throughout the plot. i would be interested in reading a sequel about what happened to the couple. GREAT STORY!

I find this submission rather weak for various reasons. Firstly, the way in which the story is told is as predictable as it is inefficient. Secondly, the tiny jokes which are intertwined throughout the story are weak, and do nothing to better the overall impression the reader gets from reading it. My main complaint, however, is the ridiculous idolisation of "conventional" values which is more or less covertly undertaken all through the storyline. On the one hand, we have the raunchy, loutish family to which the main character belongs, who are ridiculed because of their apparent hardhanded ways, whereas on the hand, we have the bleeding heart liberals to which Daphne belongs, whose views, values and beliefs are made the subject of derogatory comments and derision which are plainly outrageous. It seems to me that the author of this story wished to write a defense for "traditional" values -- the sanctity of marriage and (female!) virginity, narrow-minded political conservatism, the steadfast upholders of conventional societal values, evidenced by the treatment of this lesbian cousin, etc. etc. etc. All in all, I find this an appalling coupling of moralism and bland erotica which you could have saved us.

Pshh, I've read your submissions Eve and let me tell you Joe's is better. Like by a longshot. The only reason why I didn't give a 100 here is because there's spelling mistakes and me being a perfectionist everything's gotta be right to get 100.

Kudos for Joe!

I really enjoyed the story line that accentuated the sex scenes. For once the sex was a part of the story rather than the story an excuse for the sex. (Not that I mind sex!)

What else can I say? This is the best story I've read on this website. Excellent, excellent work. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Put friends in for relatives – it was much the same for me. A continuation of this love story would be wonderful I'm sure. This was literature at its best.

Excellent story... i think i had never managed to read completely such a long story...

The only thing... i found i little strange of them wanting to marry so sudden..

But i really loved it.

Clara

u have great talent,best love story i have ever read.

This story starts a little slowly, but after Chp 3 it heats up. I think you are a hopeless romantic, picking a name like JoeDreamer. Anyway, I understand the seniment behind this story. I had sex with apx. 10 virgins, but most were college girls who wanted to get rid of it and knew I would be gentle.

However, I fell in love and married the young lady who gave me her virginity as the precious gift that it was. That night, I promised myself I would try never to hurt her. We eventually separated after 30 years, but I have no regrets about making her the mother of my children, and the grandmother of theirs.

Thanks for a great story, and fond memories.

DOC226

I have to give you points for some good dialoque here and there, but overall, this story was just lukewarm.

Nothing spectacular and the characters weren't really all that engaging.

And their impending marriage and too-quick "I love you's" were distracting and unrealistic.

Still, not a TERRIBLE story.

Just not amazing.

it is one of the best love stories i have read!!

Absolutely a great story, thriller of a plot, with a smashing grand finale. The best story I've read!

Compliments to the author!

I really enjoyed this story. The dialogue was wonderful, the main characters all very appealing. Great effort!!

You really caught the essence of the characters with this story. I was caught up in the story from the first, and, having been the victim of such manipulative efforts, I could understand the story line.

Ah, the glory of True Love.

Probably the best love story that I have read on LIT. You did an outstanding job of writing this story. I could identify wiht the characters all the way thru it!!!

Thank you so much !!

This was a bit too sappy for me. It's a little unbelievable that they'd want to get married... it just seems awfully contrived. The love element was fine, but the Michael's insistence on marriage was too much.

wow this is probably the best story i've ever read, ever.