by fin
HOTDamn! Excellent writing. Graphic in a good way. Looking forward to chapter 2.
...Or, it's equally possible that they copied it from here, I suppose.
A lot of this story appears to have been copied from "I could not control!", by Sandhya. See http://www.storiesbookusa.com/story/couple/i-could-not-control
I hope there is a sequel coming. Susan is a great character, and you write well. Thank you for the story.
very well writen with humor , intimacy with sex that is actually very sexy when read.
Really love your writing. You are one talented individual and really portrayed the feeling and emotion well. Bravo.
Well done! Your words allow us to share a young college girls sexual awakening as she discovers all of the possibilities around her. Innocence blossoming into awarness and arousal.She explores her own desires as they become apparent to her. I'll follow your College Girls chapters. Thank you.
Pitch-perfect: erotic, believable, humane, moving. The day I can write like that I will be very pleased with myself. Congratulations, and thank you.
Wonderfully descriptive, excellent tempo, and Susan has the beginnings of a great character. Please continue.
I agree with lust, not the every run of the mill college girl story. It definitely has some substance. Very good job, keep it up fin!
hi wonderful piece of writing.i am not quite as eloquent as most of the people who have left comments,but this ones straight from the heart tremendous job.keep up the good work.
wow, one of the hottest stories i've ever read, couldnt stop reading and now i feel as hot and bothered as susan!
Very well written and not the typical college girl story! You used great descriptions - your reader knew enough of what was happening and yet left some to the imagination. I like how you brought up the emotional/reality side of things from both the male and female perspectives. Looking forward to more! Thanks for sharing!
Very well written, getting inside her head was both convincing and unbelievably erotic. The description of the bodies and scents made it so easy to slip into the scene and watch the watchers. Can't wait to read part 2.
very well written, doesn't sound like the typical gratuitous sex story written by a man, that is all from a male point of view. From such specific detail and imagery, it sounds like a woman has written this...please tell me if I am wrong! Good character with more than one shade to her. The use of smell, temperature and moisture creates a very sharp and intoxicating image. Cant wait to read more!
WOW! It's gotten to the point where I only read editors choice and contest winners, because I can't stand the bad writing on here. I have to say, I've read a lot of great stories on this site, but you blew them all away by a long shot! You have an incredible tallent with writing. What's more, your broad knowledge and incredible detail is unbelievable. As a person heavily into physics I was very impressed with your knowledge of the reletivity of time and distance.
Just a little constructive criticizm, the part where you have Peter fingering Sarah's pussy. It sounds like you are making him out to be rubbing her clit with the same finger that is burried in her pussy. That just doesn't make sense to me. It seems like it would be a little awkward for him to do, they are not really close enough for a single finger to reach both at the same time. But with the amount of detail in your story, I'm sure you know that...
Again, WOW! this story really blew me away. You have a true gift. Thank you for posting such a story!
That was awesome, I could picture myself in Susan's shoes. I thorougly enjoyed it from start to finish.
Although many Lit stories have turned me on, yours is the first to move me enough to leave feedback. Some have too much dialogue and not enough action, or vice versa. Your writing has a satisfying mix of both and is very well paced. Absolutely love this series.
You had me masturbating right next to my sleeping roommate. Great job!
Nicely unpredictable. You've set up some interesting conflicts that need to be resolved, in subsequent chapters. So get busy already!
A wonderful portrait of a young woman who is growing as a sexual being. The glimpses into her thoughts and feelings add serious depth. Her need tempered by her reluctance and her gradual submission to her own desires make this a delite to read. Peters foot massage should be an instruction manual on seduction for all young men!
Very erotic story and extremely well-written to boot! You do a great job of being descriptive and putting your reader in the scene without going overboard and losing yourself in endless adjectives or flamboyant airs. Great job! Thank you for sharing!
Glad to see you are submitting some more. We all appreciate your contributions to this community. I love the uncertainty about where this is going. Do write more. Plus . . . It is wonderful to not be distracted by poor grammar and punctuation. Excellent job.
This is the best story I have read on this site. The imagery is fantastic and the story rings so true - or I wish it was true for me! LOL
I felt that I was back on campus at a party. Extremely well written. Can't wait for the sequel.
Finally, an intelligent, wonderfully well-written story on Literotica. Your characters are believable and complex, they have real thoughts and speak naturally. (Well, Kate wasn't that complex in this installment - I hope she'll develop a personality in future chapters and be more than just the foil for her roommate's own development.) This is one of the four or five best I've ever read here. Keep it going, please.