All Comments on 'Chemistry'

How erotic can you be? I am just now softening down. Did I tell you I love erotic stories by women? I do, and this is tops. A very complete short story, well written and cetainly very exciting.

Thank You for excellent writing,

Rudy

It took nearly 5 minutes for me to return to normal breathing. I have never read a story with so much raw, but innocent eroticism. I guess it takes a woman to write that kind of story. I hope there are more like this. Thanks

This story has the WOW factor. Everyone should read it. I hope to see it shortly at the top of the list.

This message is coming from someone who loves to read erotic stories, and I must say that this latest, brings in the meaning for ::pant pant:: Wow, damn wonderful! Very creative in the innocence and describing the how to's and why for's. Very beautiful, hope to read more from you.

An amazing short story. Very erotic and sexy while not being too short handed in the leadings up to the act. Hope to see more of your work on this site. I truly hope that you continue to write as your style and grace are amazing.

definitely need to write more like this :-D

A 5 does not do justice to this story. On scale of 1 to 5, must be at least an 8. Keep it up (no pun intended). Look forward to more.

Your story is well-written for this genre. You strike a nice blend of romance and erotica; I love how you show respect for women yet reveal their inner, more primal desire to get "naughty." Keep up the superb work!

Oh Yes- more along this line please

Wow...that was really good, do tell about the heart break.

I can't say any more. You captured exquisitely what it is like for a girl to decide that yes, this is the one I want to lose it with. Can't say I orgasmed like that - whew! - but I do remember the inner conflict, tho it was oooooh so looonng ago! Keep writing, girl!

This little lady is going to be a VERY Nasty tease when she has more experience. She's off to a great start & probably looking for something bigger to play with as we speak. Is a Babysitter senario in the offing?

After reading that I am a fan. Characters were great, the story was awesome, I really liked it. Now to see if you have more.

The sex part was good. Who were the characters and did htey have another life?

Well written, and quite erotic. The inner conflict was interesting and the fact that Ryan didn't have a monster piece was refreshing. I'd love to hear more.

I realized I had already read this. Can't say I'm disappointed though, just as good the second time around.

Wonderfull

Superb

one the best First Time story I have read.

I loved this story... the setup and the conversations all felt very realistic, but the sex scene and the end both felt very abrupt... Did you get tired of writing the story or something? I thought it went from a realistic pace to an unrealistic one very suddenly... Still one of my favorites on this site thought...

good story... i could have used some setup on appearence (sp?) nothing too descriptive though because I know that at least I find it enjoyable to imagine. i reccomend not using the same characters ever again... they were good as is.

I thought this story was great. I really loved Ryan's character and the way he cared about how she was feeling, etc. I thought that this story was great! I'd love to read more written by you, I REALLY enjoyed it.

I looove this story. I think that I may have read it around 10 times, it is so realistic and reminds me much of my first time. please write more stories you are a great author!!!

one of the best sex stories i have read

that was fucking awesome. !@!!!!!!!!

this story was the best i've ever read on this site!!!

everyone's first time should be like that. that was so fucking sexy makes me think of making a phone call...

I thought this was the best first time story I have ever read on this site. You have a lot of promise for future stories. The only thing i would say is work onthe ending a little more as it does seem as little abrupt.

Hot-hot sex -- and deeply romantic. Superb!

Man i hope my first time will be like that...

I don't think there are many first times that are that good. I'm glad yours was, though, and I'm glad you shared it with us. Thanks for a hot read.

Best on the site!! WRITE MORE! Your by far the best author on the site! GOOD JOB!!!

that was the best story ive read on here. that really tops it. please. i beg u tell more of these.

This is one of the best first time stories I've read. These two lovers really do have a great chemistry between them. Your description of the teasing, the tension, and the juicy sex scene really put it over the top, so to speak. I'd give it a "10" if I could.

The story itself is quite short and the pacing is very fast. But it didn't feel rushed or unnatural. It was very enjoyable to read :)

wow this was so very very great! wonderful!

I agree that the general tone of your piece exponentially builds suspense and intensity very well with each passing paragraph. However, here are some thoughts to consider.

I enjoyed your prelude to the actual sexual encounter, taking time to really build the characters in a vivid setting. It presents a captivating introduction that lets your reader connect. But when you start into the sex itself, the pace of information, description, and development hits a bit of a hitch. Really take your time to slow down the writing process of the sex scenes, yet using powerful and engaging words (as well as descriptive imagery) to keep the desired level of hot and heavy action afloat. Give more insight into what was happening right in front of you; what it looked liked, sounded like, tasted like, felt like, etc.

Point in case, your transition of sexual positions (my legs hiked up and over his shoulders) needed to be explored further. What did the change do for you? How did it feel compared to everything up until that very point? And although I've only mentioned "how do YOU feel", be sure to give your other very important character some face time. Answer the same questions posed through the 3rd person perspective, offering an even more complex view of the sex you're having.

Lastly, reread your dialog aloud after you're finished writing. You may find that somethings, while technically correct and plausible, may not sound as natural in particular settings. Saying "fuck me" five times in a row WHILE supported with narration in context is well and all, but there is more (naughty and sensual) conversation to be had.

Phew! It looks like I'm picking on you, but I really did enjoy your piece and the style in which you approached it. I just want to help you hone in on the big picture by tweaking the smaller details. Great writing, and keep it coming! (no pun intended :)

-my signature is anonymous as I have forgotten my ID, but I'm pretty sure I'm Weston102-

it was a really nice story thankx!! i wish my first time is like that!! x

Wow! So sweet and real!

Really enjoyed this

Great writing. Hoping you've written more!

Wow, this story is definitely one of the best I've read in a long time. It was so real and loving.