All Comments on 'Carnival'

I'm speechless. This must be one of the best story's i've ever read. The charaters are amazing and VERY VERY familiar! *wink* I love how real they are. The obsessive haunting love that we all wait for a lifetime to find and in this case Phoenix and Vanna waited more than one life time. I wish I could have that. I cried it's so beautiful. And the sex. Oh my God the sex...............

If this is your first effort together. I'm holding my breath for future projects. You write together like you've always been doing this! I see so much of Abs and so much of Nirvana and together you're INCREDIBLE!!!!!

You chicks deserve to win. Hands down.

... are meant to merge, and they will find their way to one another no matter the distance or dimension. Well done, you two!

This is a story that improves every time you read it. It has so many dimensions that you can find something new in it every time. Passionate, beautifully constructed and with a lyricism that conveys the intensity of emotion perfectly. This isn't textbook erotic writing - it takes the game to an even higher level than that.

It doesn't get any better than this!! What a blend of all the senses and passions that stimulates us all...

More...please.

That hasn't already been said? True love lasts forever. Good luck.

Passionate and seamless. An extraordinary compilation of love, passion and fidelity.

A beautiful and timeless romance. Definitely erotic. The only horror would have been if these two had been kept apart for any longer. Wonderful story.

Richly written and delighfully erotic.

The moment of discovery was wonderful. Such a gorgeous blend of romance and eroticism.

Well done.

it's Fusionnée. :)

Your story has been reviewed. You can see the review on the New story reviews thread on the Authors' Hangout here: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?t=428901&page=11&pp=25

Any comments or questions pertaining to that review can be directed to that thread: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/showthread.php?p=18265130#post18265130

Very erotic. The arty scene had me dripping wet :-)Very hot and very delicious.Together you write poetry in motion.

I'll eat my panties if you don't do exceptionally well.

Well done ladies. You rock!

The characters come across strong - and real. The imagry is deep and vivid, and the story is wonderfully told. Excellent work!

what do we have here?? If it isn't Lit's hottest two ladies writing together! Wow. The erotic element in the story is fucking mindblowing. It's sexy and real. You sure know what lesbian sex is!

I'm wondering how autobiographical this is with the Vanna references and the Abstruse reference. So? Is it? ;-)

....not to mention rather believable for a vampire story. The reaction toward the end, for instance. I like the patterns in the families as well. There was the love story itself. Jovanna and Phoenix are very wonderful people. The vampire here is not evil. She's simply a lovestruck woman searching for her soulmate for an agonizing eternity. The torture of waiting and having to restrain herself for her plan to work are very intense. The anticipation and the clever way that she founds and involves herself in her lover's life are a sign of need and feeling. It's very poetic. I think that I feel outclassed in the romance department. Deserves a 6 or 7, not just a 5.

Fusionee leaves a great first impression as a writing team. The passion is real, serious, and yet full of light as well as darkness.

...you get more than you pay for. This story has nearly every "hook" readers could possibly want, and they only have to pay with their time and an open mind. I am most grateful that you two spent the time to make this a truly special work of erotic art.

I mean, if you want a hot story, filled with hot sex and coupled with a perfect romance that is.

:emoticon:

Well Done.

kbate

it wouldn't let me log in to leave it in my name.

I for one loved this story, the richness of the detail that is painted by the words draws the reader in like the best writing can.

Bravo ladies.

Just like the women who wrote it.

Vampire stories, with however a “sympathetic” lead character, aren’t my cup of spiced hot wine. They simply don’t cause any frisson to course through me. When reading this story, I couldn’t help but think if it would have been any less powerful if it had been about say, an immortal woman searching the reincarnation of her soul-mate?

However, given all that, this still is a wonderfully written, erotically evocative tale, with flourishes that were almost musical – the story “felt” baroque, in the best way.

Soffiare un bacio alle signore

I got caught up in the story, and now I must leave to rush off to the boring world of my work.

I usually don't read any vampire stories, but I was totally taken by this one.

I will return and reread this again.

Susan

Between the vampire eroticism, the settings, the charm, and the art work I was truly moved and stirred. Arousing and beautiful.

Loved it. I don't normally read vampire stories, but for you two...

A good story, well written.

Ken

tender and moving, with wonderful periodic detail. Oh, and did I mention romantic and sexy? This story has everything, like its two writers! Bravo! Bravo!

omg that drove me wild!

This is a very sophisticated story. It really does raise the genre up a notch. The integration of eroticism and "vampirism" in the sex scene on page 3 is extraordinary. Congratulations on a marvelous piece of work.

The best story on the Lit boards. No doubt.

I was told you two girls were good. Understatement!! You've penned beauty, grace and art. It's flowing and smooth. Romantic and sexy. Touching and sensual. Sexual and alluring. Magnificent and intense.

I want you to write more and I want it NOW!!!!!

Engaging and absorbing story. The historical settings were quite evocative. The love over the centuries was compelling. This story deserves to win, big time.

This story absolutely took me away. I loved every bit of it. You two have something special, being able to write that well together and feed off of each other like so. Don't let that go. I look forward to seeing more stories by the two of you, congratulations on this piece; it's breath taking.

This is how erotica is meant to be written. A story with well developed characters and a believable plot (even if it involves vampires) that builds on longing, anticipation, want, desire, and need. It is impossible to see that two individuals wrote this story which is quite an amazing feat in and of itself. Look forward to reading more of your work.

GOD! the passion and the emotion!!

Incredible. How do you write something so beautiful?

Just kidding! :) You both know you wrote an awesome story... seamless, beginning to end. Kudos to you!

The story was well told, encompassing much in four short pages. The love/sex scene was interesting and erotic --very novel. All in all an enjoyable read. Well done you two!

What an incredible story!! It flowed beautifully, the story itself was so well written with gorgeous visuals,wonderful dialogue and very, very hot sex. Kudos ladies for a seamless and dynamic piece. I hope this is going to be considered for publishing?

the charm in this story is undeniable. It must be because of the merger of Abs and Vana. Your charm as a writing couple is undeniable.

Unbelievable work! Excellent story and very well told and executed. Beauty, just like the two of you!

Genuine and moving, celebrating the real world of love and desire and the underworld of the vampires. Lesbian love and erotic togetherness with a twist of forever after.

The quest for The One. This is a story I will remember forever. Thank you.

sexy as fuck.

It took my breath away from the moment I started it. Romantic and stunning. I can't see where the one's writing begins and ends and the others starts. You have a genuine name cause this truly is a fusion of writing skill and creativity.

Carnival

Fusionnée

Erotic Horror

Everybody knows that Fusionnée is the brain child of Abstruse and NirvanaDragones and for those who don't let me tell you that you cannot get luckier than when those two ladies decided to collaborate together.

It shouldn't come as a surprise if I say that their first effort seems effortless. Their writing is absolutely seamless. There is no way of knowing where one writer stops and the other starts. The story in itself is a pure piece of art and a delight to read. The language is flowing like a great wine; it makes you all giddy and happy to be alive to see such talent at work.

Just like a piece of art, the story deserve to be savoured slowly and nibbled lightly. You CANNOT wolf down that story and feel all its charms and perfection. The writing is impeccable, the voice constant, the characters motivations and interactions never faltering.

IMHO there should be an addition in the dictionary for the word perfection; it should read 'refers to the work of "Fusionnée"'

Kudos to the writing team and kudos to the on-the-ball reviewer!!

very well done, you two are amazing!

good luck in the contest. You'll kick ass!!

What an intensely erotic story the two of you have written! It's dark and moody, but almost overwhelmingly rich in the emotions portrayed. Excellent story.

...in the same manner it made me cry and smile. what is it about night creatures that our primal instincts relate to sexually?

exquisitely done, sad and happy. what a passage of time.

This iisn't true love. It's narcissitic obsession and pouty girlish selfishness.

And it's brooding melodrama and dark melancholy falls into the comic realm.

I wish more lesbian writers understood the difference between journalling and writing.

The characters have no dimensionality, the plot is predictable and writing is syrupy and heavy-handed.

But I guess you'll get the yay-for-homosexuality vote.

You have to love it when people leave negative commentary that is in no way constructive to the author and hidden behind the veil of "annonymity."

Personally I thought this was one of the best stories I have read in the competition. The end was slightly rushed and a bit ant-iclimatic perhaps-I would have maybe liked some followup to what happened in the alleyway, like the characters having to flee because they were under suspicion for the murders, but that's me-I tend to like lengthy stories with. But despite that, the story was phenomenal; well plotted and constructed. The writing was beautiful. The imagery was great and I was really able to get a sense of love, loss and the redemption that found Phoniex and Jovanna in the end. It was also EXTREMELY sensual (cue warm cheeks) without being gratuitis.

FANTASTIC job hon.

-J

... but I've come to expect no less from you. Very well written and gripping. Definitly one of the best pieces of erotica I've read in a long time, I was sorry to get to the end. Bravo.

CD

everything has been said already, so all i can do now is agree... i very much liked this story...

though I dont particularly like vampire stories, I read this one to the very end, it is very well written and the choice of words and metaphors was fascinating. Well done

How can someone not be touched by such a tale of passion, restraint, intensity, need and pure love. You'd make a cynical and bitter person believe in true love again.

I loved reading it. I loved the words, the emotions, the seeming effortlessness with which it was written and the way it invited me in and made me lose myself in it. I can see myself treasuring this story, coming back to it again and again, to see for myself how beautiful it can be if you believe.

Fascinating story, y'all. You sucked me in and wouldn't let me go until I reached the end. What a ride.

I LOVE this part, as it pertains to why (I think) we are all here:

"You've made it when you're not only published, but when you are read, truly read. Anyone can be published. Anyone can write a book, but not everyone can 'write' a book. Yes, you want them to buy and read your words but when you lay your soul down on paper - that's when you write.

"It's not about making a bestseller list, even though that is a plausible goal. It's writing something that reaches into people so deeply that it's as if you pulled their very words right out of them. You write for you as if it's the blood that flows through your veins and the air that fills your lungs."

If you can reach out to just one soul, just one, with your words... then you are a writer."

Very well expressed. Thank you for putting it into words. ~Minx

Agonizing in its beauty...incredibly descriptive and powerful...

Thankyou for sharing this wonderful tale, it truly is marvelous. I have become tongue tied leaving me crippled for lack of words. However, i shall try my best as i always do. I am in extreme awe at how you have not written but outpoured this treasure chest of phenomenal emotions, feelings, tendencies, etc etc. The delicate nuances of lust and love, sensuality, and grace, spirituality and on a level anarchy, darkness and illumination, eternity and immediacy are astounding and i wish to thank you yet again for this wonderful wonderful gift.

This is most certainly a submission i will be reading again, and i'm sure i shall discover more each time- slowly caressing away layers of meaning and understanding.

<3

Your world is wonderful, I would love to see the characters fleshed out into a full novel.

You transported me there! Good job!

Someone told me that this was a must read Hot story. I think that was something of an understatement.

Absolutely spellbindingly wonderful. Beautifully textured and richly developed. A true masterpiece.

I suppose that is to be expected when one leaves their soul upon and within the written word. Doubly so when two souls leave their mark.

I can tell that this tale is true love! It was wonderful! I really enjoyed reading it, you should consider making it into a full novel and publishing it.

Well... this was a good story. I didn't read the whole thing, but I'm probably love it when I do. Thanks for writing such a great story.

wtf is this jew shit?

This is one of the best pieces I have EVER read here. You are a supremely incredible writer. Thank you so much for the truthful passion your story invokes.

I think I can safely say that this, by far, is one of the most beautiful, wonderfully written and emotion filled story that I have ever read.

I think you communicate the strength of Phoenix's feeling very clearly, and the reincarnation factor, though maybe some would say overused or something like that, I think it fit the story very well.

I like it. It really moved me, not the kind of reaction that made me cry emotionally or the likes, but it touched me deeply, and not many story could bring out a wonderful feeling like this for me.

I don't know what else to say. All in all, a job very well done!

This story pulled me in as if I were witnessing every action and event that took place. Even though I was in my bed I felt as though I was apart of the movements and settings. Your choice of words added to the scenery of my imagination.

With this story. The way you write is captivating and could pull me in from th very start. Perhaps I am so in love with this story for Pheonix reminds me of myself; Same personality and such. I do hope to see more of your writing come out. Love this story, love your writing, and love the idea behind this one in particular.

Feel free to talk to me at any time. <3