by GratefulFred
this story seems rushed. its more like a summary.
you need to slow it down and provide more detail.
This is a good spoof of Captain America. As a comic fan I fully appreciate the parallels, but it does seem rushed and more like a summary. If this is just to get things started then it's a good start, but I think a lot of readers were hoping for more details as to some of these events.
But 2.75 score is too pathetic. Come on folks, where are the encouragement. At least give the writer a 4. Sheesh!
Good work author but work on it harder.
Needs to be more erotic, albeit that would be difficult to balance against the large scope of the story. I'm not turned on by super-powered sex, but costumes and secret labs are something else. There's a little too much explanation and not enough detail. President Jeb doesn't seem that important to the plot, why mention him if you can describe the way his straight-laced followers are dressed instead? I'm thinking head to toe in virginal white, laced up so tightly they can barely breath, much less get a hard-on. The way you play on the capt America back story is nice though.