All Comments on 'Bird of Paradise'

A delightfully explored story, written with exquisite attention to detail. This is gentle and real life, and as such falls into a rare category. Impatient readers may find the length 'testing' ( a euphemism for wanting to get to the 'juicy bit') but for those who enjoy savouring a treat this will be a gift. Well done.

Thank you and congratulations on such a nice story, Neonlyte.

Forgive me for saying this, but I was a bit thrown off by what seems to be the heroine's complete lack of self-esteem and/or backbone. She was constantly downing herself, and projecting her insecurities onto her partner. The sex also struck me as clinical in nature.

With that aside, good luck to you in the contest.

Neo, I loved the emotion of both your characters. Defining where they come from...the reasons for their feelings. The self doubt and the perseverance are both very real and I appreciate you exploring this type of relationship where neither one is "perfect".

Now this is well done characterization! I might have placed this in "mature"... but regardless, a fine job! Good luck!

Your writing was spot on, exactly as I thought the character would write - totally into her mind. Quite an accomplishment.

Well done, very well done. artistic.

Very loving. This story proves that any pussy can take a cock and vice versa, regardless of ages involved. Older women are always a better fuck in that they have the experience to know what they want.

Well to be frank, this story was not bad, though finding anything good about it was not possible.

I had to rate it a 3 on that account. I am sure you have better tales to tell.

Neon! Simply one of the best stories I've ever read on Lit. Sheer brilliance--hot, human, insightful, and just stunningly written. Her voice was perfect, the detaials vivid, and the digression about the flower fertilization almost gave me chills. Her experience of sex was real and deep and still incredibly erotic, the experience of a woman surrendering to desires for the first time. What could be sexier?

Okay, so it slowed down at the end, but the rest of it was just fucking masterful. The maturity and understanding makes this one much more than just porn. This is erotic literature as it should be, and I'm really awestruck. You've got major talent, Neon. Major.

You won't win the contest, but you've already done more than that, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This one's brilliant.

this is a wonderful story... i love the way it was told, with her voice...

... in the contest neon. Take care.

Lizzy

Well written, and very enjoyable. Good luck.

You should be extremely proud of this story.

If left up to me, I'd end the contest now and

name you the winner.

More importantly, work like this raises the bar.

Thank you!

was enjoyable to read as well as being very perceptive. Great job and good luck in the contest

Give yourself a pat on the back for a first-rate job of presenting two well-rounded, interesting characters at the beginning of their relationship.

Rumple

The story was good enough to keep my interest. What I really enjoyed was your richly woven tapestry of words. Great writing style.

Beautifully written, erotic. Well-fleshed-out characters. I liked the parallel between the sexuality of the plant and the hitherto-unexpressed sexuality of the woman. It could have done well as a first time story, too. BTW, I hope the rest of the people of Nottinghamshire are better judges of a good story than the one who commented. Good luck with the contest.

So well written and the story never lost its pace. Can't wait to read more of your work :)

Nothing left to say that the others have not. Way to go!

Just simply wow.