All Comments on 'All By Myself'

a hard tale. but i knew you there and like you i went tough years of hell here. it never ends.

3 divorces, and now the VA is fucking me around. i got diabetes from Agent Orange. it will kill me. totally uncontrolable. i am just waiting to die.

I remember Nam and may the politicians who fucked over all those young men rot in hell forever and ever.

And NO! saying they were sorry was not enough.

And then tell you why I liked them so much.

"He pushed her aside and kicked my ass. The only thing good that came of it was to give her enough time to run."

I loved this line. Sometimes you lose a battle but win the war. (sometimes you lose the battle and just get your ass kicked, But at least you can sleep at night)

"You took your sweet time coming home to me, Brian. I was beginning to think you didn't love me any more. I want you to know that I would have only given you another ten or fifteen years before I would have started looking for a new man."

You have to love a hard headed woman when she's hardheaded about her love for you. I can't remember liking any character as much as I liked her when you spent almost no time on developing her.

totally appropriate to post during this 4th of July weekend. So many good men lost, so many lives disrupted or distroyed. For what?

I feel the same as others my age and experience that we owe each other a salute of knowledge that we did all we were asked and apologize for nothing. Some how we all need to understand it was just a stage in our life and not an all encompassing few years that still envelop us. We know what duty and honor are. We are more than just a few years of life. Remember the pain and move it to a place of what was and is no longer more then an experience.

Some of our brethren were and are still not that lucky. There are so many different types of wounds that we all carry. Some physical and some mind altering. Don’t let yourself live in yesterday, as there are just too many things ahead that need to be experienced. As others have said Cher was portrayed as strong in a cherished love of her man, like my own Peggy was for me. She saw a stranger come home to her and built a new and stronger love for that stranger and their child. This women was the real hero as she didn’t have any ammunition or understanding how to fight for what stood before her, just a pure love to make it all work for her family. No one or nothing would separate her from her love, not even the stranger she was facing who had almost destroyed it all and had given up.

So well written and the feelings evoked are therapeutic to many.

Thank you

PT

This story tells a lot about my life.

I dumped my fiance one month before I shipped out to Nam. I was thinking that I probably wouldn't be returning home in too good of shape. I was after all scheduled to be a platoon leader in the Big Red One. I thought it best that she not have to endure the fear in waiting for me to come back. I think I wanted her to hate me so she wouldn't care.

What a dumb ass I was.

I didn't disappoint either. The TET Offensive just happened to coinside with my tour. I came home on a stretcher and spent nine months in the hospital before I finally got discharged.

Funny though, I was one lucky SOB because she came to see me the very first weekend I was in the states and never missed a beat the whole nine months.

We were married the weekend after my discharge from the Army and we will be married now 38 years come this December.

Thank you for this story. As much as I hate to hear about this war we find ourselves in and as much as I hate hearing about more and more deaths and injuries, the one thing that gives me some comfort is the fact that America is still supporting the individual soldiers. That is one thing we NAM vets missed. We got spit! Damn what a crime that was!

Charleybear

and, also, remember that America is the ONLY society in the history of mankind that has used BOTH deadly chemicals ("agent organge", etc.) and nukular (nuclear) weapons on (other) human beings.

no other nation --- however evil (from America's view) --- has ever had the fortune/misfortune to do that!

What a story; one of the best I've ever read anywhere. Well done, LYG.

I agree with the comments you've received - USA owes the Vietnam vets a huge apology for how they have been treated and screwed over. Thank goodness that even though half the country hates GW, they're not taking it out on the GIs this time - maybe we are learning from our mistakes.

They say you had to be there to understand. You took me there just like that tranport plane back in 68. It felt as real as it did then.

inside that needs to come out.

Nice job - well told story.

I can believe it.

Regards, DJ

So real, so, so riveting. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.

What can one say - thank you for a wonderful story. It touched me, especially since I can somewhat relate to the experiences of the narrator.

What a wonderful story! I guess, in the end, we have the power to save or destroy ourselves.

Boyd

A great story. Although I did not go to Viet Nam my brother did and he returned. He spent 6 years in the Army and 2+ in Viet Nam, in which he was wounded twice. This affected his relationships and made him as you describe the character. He would never discuss it and is no longer alive. I enjoy your stories, thank you for your time and effort.

i consider this to be LYG's best. war does change you. some more than others.

thank you.

*sniff* wonderful story.

simply beautiful. i got a bit teary in the end.

Very good....I was there..but by the time I got my head back she was married.....May be for the best....You did a very good job....thanks

What a bitter sweet tale.. I only intended on skimming threw this one but before I got threw the first paragraph I was totally hooked. Your a great writter.. Keep up the awesome work!

SEMPER FI Mike from Texas

For all of us who served then and for all who serve now....Thank You for your service. Thank you for writing about the hardship and loss we all felt at one time or another. Freedom is not free.

I can’t tell which of the two touched me more, the story or the collection of readers’ thoughts and reactions to your story. It certainly looks like you brought together – at least a certain group of readers: those who are veterans of wars. Add me to that list. <P>

I can’t tell how you were able to cover so much ground in so little a space… The war the life before and after…I guess it is the quality of lifetime of processing of the same things over and over again which crystallizes the feelings and the thoughts which brings with it the best expressions in the most efficient way. <P>

I can just tell you that it has been a long time since I have read such a truthful and touching expression of war experience and of love at times of war. And it has been even longer time since I have read a piece which was both sad and uplifting. We can’t find many of this kind here (or elsewhere). Thank you for sharing this work with us.

Excellent portrayal of the emotional state of the men who served in Viet Nam. The quote by Orson Welles was a great touch but the following paragraph really shows your capacity for empathy and the depth of which you understand human behavior. Two traits necessary for a great writer. Plus, the ability to convey your thoughts into words to allow the reader to actually live the story. I say empathy because I see from your age that you are not old enough to have served in Viet Nam but you write like you did. That is an ability that most wished they had, including myself. Thank you, I'm looking foward to reading more of your stories.

Isn't it funny how war experiences effect each one differently? I too was in Viet Nam in 1966 and 1967 as a squad leader, and I saw some action. What I remember most was this; I remember all the "Dear John" letters from girlfriends and wives that my men received. Those letters (Sometimes with nasty pictures of their loved one with other men) affected them greatly. Much more than what went on over there. I would remind everyone that as a rule; the letters from home affected us more, or kept us going more...than anything! I mean, we had our comrades or buddies, or even a few Oriental women to keep us company at times. However, most of us just did our job whilst counting the days to when we returned to the World and our families! It "Was" hard for those that were badly wounded or saw a buddy die in front of them as you related in this story. I have to be honest. I did get married a few months before going over and my wife stayed faithful whilst she waited. We divorced later after having being married for 17 years and having grown away from each other! She cheated on me long after the war! I submit that most men that came back were not all that affected by the war... Oh yes, we all had to grow up some with the experience. But that happens no matter what the life experiences you go through. Just another thought from an old Marine...

P.S. My brother did die from cancer caused by Agent Orange. He was in the South of South Viet Nam where they used it most. He was non-combat and died. I was a combat leader close to the DMZ and I came back clean and unwounded. There are over 2 million different life experiences from that 10 year war. Once again, a few were mentally affected...some more than others. I believe this story as it probably did occur like this for a few. I just want everyone to know that most combat warriors return and make a good peaceful life without head problems. Oh yes, it always takes a year or so to adjust to civilian life! Civilians don't have the needed camraderie that military men or women must have to survive together... Just a thought...Sorry!

It is a long time since Nam and all the guys and gals that got fucked over big time by Uncle Sam and our PM who tagged us Aussies along. So now just to keep in practice for saying 'Sorry', they have given us Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan. WHY? The locals are bailing out to get away while we are going in to keep the pollies happy. What a sick fucking joke.

All Pollies should have to read this story and many more like it so they better understand what they are doing to their Nations' youth. Yeah, they visit for 3 hours and return home after TV coverage, extolling the virtues of the men and women doing the dirty work and bullshitting about how we are helping that country etc etc. They don't have a clue and even if they did they are not game to espouse it.

I do not believe we will ever change the political clan and corruption system of these countries. All we are doing is keeping the arms manufacturers in business - turning over the dollars. Surely those dollars could be better spent at home

Here endeth my dummy spit.

As a 60 year old Vietnam vet who still is reminded of that hell everytime I strap on my prostetic leg, I remember my fears there and the fear of going home to a new wife who cringed when she first saw my scars. I thought then it might have been better to have given her a divorce so she could find a whole man to love. Thankfully she really loved me more than I could hope and has been here with me over 40 years. At the VA hospital, I have talked to many who share the pain and fear, I remind them that love trumps fear, hate and despair. Thanks for the story.

or become an island. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for a sensitively written depiction of the struggle some vets experienced. Mine is similar but different. I have cancer and a record of failed relationships because I did not find within me the strength to overcome what I flew out of there with. I'm glad we're appreciating our vets these days, and yet . . .

He found something truly exceptional and she found herself willing to sacrifice and wait for him to understand it - both possible.

He lost something incredibly valuable, she held on to it until he remembered to look for it - actually much less likely.

They found a way to move together an fix all the broken and build all the next needed

Nicely done -

Wow bro, don't ever stop writing... There are so many of us that served in that rat hole they called nam...Yea it was right then and it's still right Many of us suffer the loss that you did both there and here.. I was hit several times but made it back to the world. Hearts broken there and hearts broken here !! And by the way .. welcome home bud!

SFC. Ret U.S. Army

http://www.literotica.com/s/dont-you-need-somebody-to-love

This story by calibeachgirl is about a Vietnam era vet who falls in love with an Italian-American widow.

Excellent tale. One lesson learned is that never give up on love. Somehow it finds you and makes you whole again.

I was in between Korea and Viet Nam, I was always glad to have missed both. I am a nurse now and I have seen way too many men that were ruined by that war. Possibly they had problems before they went but those problems were increased by many fold by that action. My double sympathy to those who were P.O.W.s. It was and is a bad time for our country. Semper Fi (and I was Navy, not Marine).

.Every man should be so lucky to find a woman like her. Once again I say, stay away from the cheating wife stories. Stick to ones like this. They're much better.

I can not begain to tell you how many time I said those words!.

I still live with the faces of those I could not save, Don't let me die like this, the terror in their eyes, their faith in me that I would keep them alive, And I failed to many times!.

The memories of 65,66,67 STILL live in my mind, their faces, their blood on my hands

Their pleas of don't let me die Smitty, WILL LIVE WITH ME FOREVER.

You Have It Right, ALL BY MYSELF!.

AN OLD COMBAT MEDIC

My dad, myself, two nephews and a niece all have PTSD and two also have TMI.

It's been 46 years for me and through the the love of my wife I no longer walk alone. But I still remember and come to tears when memories surface. I'm lucky and so thankful for the blessings of family.

the worse fate than death, living with a self imposed torture, wow now that's hell.

imagine how strong would that love really be, that can rebuild a shattered spirit.

This great story is buried in literotica's back pages. Wish more could read it

Chilly

in a different war at different time and spent two years in hospital. I had been married about a year at the time. I ended up alone with no one to blame but myself and that fucking war. I'm 62 now and have grandkids that I see every day but I never had another women in my life and regret every day what that war turned me into. NEVER give up on love. Too late for me now, but never too late for you, who ever you are.

It was the shits. I lost my future wife while overseas. I married two months after I got home to a girl I just met. Now we've been married 49 years Best thing to ever happen to me😍

My brother was 19 in 1967. He married his girlfriend a couple of weeks before shipping off to Viet Nam. He was dead within a few months. She was at his funeral. They gave her his flag and we never saw her again. I hope she had a good life. My brother was a volunteer and a hero. He has been missed for almost 50 years.

For some this is just a good story

Others know how deep it goes.

One of the many lines I enjoyed was:

"With every passing day I love Cheryl more than the last but not nearly as much as the next"

resubmit this in romance, it deserves more readers.

Wish you were still around writing. Like most of your stories. Absolutely loved this one. Still have my scars, both inside and out, from that shitty place. Got to love a determined woman. Mine saved me from my self-destructive actions. She was a nurse at the VA hospital that I ended up in after several years of life that wasn't much of a life. That was 45 years ago and I thank God everyday that she loves me. I'll never understand why, but she does and I love her more than life. I pray every night that God doesn't take my sunshine away.

Hooray! 74/75 when we had no support and everything we did was covert as TAD training. Left some of me behind but I made it. The fad of today to thank us is novel but +30yrs too late. I just tell them I was just lucky the true hero's never came home but live in our memories. Nam is also were I realized formal religion is tripe - what greater plan can their be for the brutality of cutting down children. +40yrs later and some things still haunt me - but it's now just a memory wrapped in fog unless I smell blood or cordite.

64,65,66,67. I won’t forget.

A little gem!

A lot of emotional power in this short story-very tightly weitten, and obviously resonated with those who served in that war.

One of the best written! I had wanted to complain that it was too short but I would have been wrong.

Thank you is about all I can say.

de Jay

Instead of thanking us for our service how about helping to ensure the rights we fought for and help us to legally grow our own Cannabis.

Thanks for the story.

The best story on this site, by far.

Short but sweet. But the unanswered question is Why?

Superb. I was not there, but I understand..

I was lucky to get messed up in a car wreck while going through medic training at Ft Sam. it saved me from going to Viet Nam. my time in the hospital surrounded by returned wounded was a life changing time never forgotten

Like being a foster child released at age 18. All by yourself. Yes many ways to be by yourself.

Where did the eight years come from?.About a year after the letter in Nam,two years bumming around,there is no way it took him five years to go through college.

Quit reading maybe try again later

USMC Vietnam took almost 2 years to make CPL equivalent rank.

And about right for most

PFC yes if good and I mean good

18 weeks usually just Pvt

Excellent story.

Just one question: who is Ellen?

What a great story. Many of the guys that went to Viet Nam never got the recognition and help they deserved when they returned. I was just getting out of the Army in 1962, and it is stories like this that make me glad that I did.

Not enough stars here

A nice story, despite its blemishes.

I should have went?? ...plus some typos or misspellings.

not bad overall.

Great story, love it. AAAAAA+++++

Thank you. A wonderful, heart warming story.

5+ stars!!!

Wayy too short but sweet.

A difficult time, a thoughtful story. *****

Brothers and sisters

Up front: I am not a U.S. citizen. This is not the place for a political agitation and it is a tough decision to leave a comment that goes beyond the story. But here it goes.

The author, whose stories I thoroughly enjoy, is very diffuse in his reasoning for the necessity for your country to fight this war. You did not win it, what would have been different in this world if you never started it?

Ask yorself this question und answer it truthfully. Has Viet Nam invaded any country? Have they spread communism? I tell you one thing they did do after you left. Together with defecting parts of the Khmer Army the Vietnames defeated the Khmer Rouge and freed the country from that evil.

And did you have protect your country from North Viet Nam? They didn't have any means to either harm you from afar using rockets or strategic bombers and they had nothing that could have been used as an invasion army, like thousands of tanks on so on, they didn't even have the means to bring it over to ypu if they had had that invasion army.

You weren't allowed to win that war? What could you have done you already didn't do? Other than the use of infantry you dropped a bigger bomb load on Viet Nam than on any country in WWII, you used Napalm and Agent Orange, look it up guys, don't be ignorant. You had no chance to ever conqer that country and establish peace. The only alternative to a retread was to annihilate Nam with nukes. You may not like it, but I'm convinced the main motivation for the North Vietnamese fighters, the source of their determination, was not some abstract ideology, but the will to end colonialism. Wouldn't you fight for the freedom of your country from foreign rule regardless the political orientation of your leadership, as long as you'd have faith in them to lead the battle successfully?

Loved it, this is not the first time I have read this story and I will be back in the future.

The reason the U.S. fought in the Vietnam Conflict was: Lady Bird Johnson, President L.B. Johnson wife was the Chief stock holder of Colt Fire Arms, the same company that supplied 99% of the weapons and ammunition during the Conflict. A lot of money was deposited into the two's Bank Accounts during the Conflict, made them very rich and is still the main reason why the U.S. has been in war with everyone since WW2. Just like Cancer, there has been a cure for over 120 years but there is too much money to be made through treatment for them to cure a patient. The cure is so simple anyone can be cancer free. I gave the story 5 BIG FAT STARS!

Good story, from my pov the author in no way glorifies war [esp. that one] nor did he even try justifying So what was that comment 3 months about? BTW Vietnam also defended herself against the rampant chinese plo and handed them their arse, not so sure they would do it now though. PS no war is nice and no sane person wants one, there are a lot of lunatics out there who just don't care though.

One hell of a story. I was lucky, as I was getting out of the Navy, they asked me if I wanted to ship over and go to a place called Vietnam. Never heard of it but I had a girl friend waiting for me back home so the answer was no. I do thank all those who did go and serve and my prayers are for those that gave the ultimate sacrifice. Just glad this had a happy ending. Thanks

Vietnam, I ask myself every day why I came back and not him. Two guys from the same town that didn't know each other until we were on the same train to Basic Training, then to AIT for Guerilla Warfare it was called, the damn swamps of Louisiana, then to Tank training where we became Tankers. On the plane over I was thinking that one of us probably won't make it back, just then I turned to look at him, he's looking at me and say's "one of us is not coming back"

First Vietnam, then Iraq and Afganistan. Immoral wars. We lost them all.

Now Ukraine, a moral war. I hope we win this one, and realize the truth.

We were the invaders, and finally, in my lifetime, we may be the saviours.

""""" God bless those who died and those who suffered.

Damn. Nothing like a little PTSD and a good women to put life into prospective.

One doesn’t really know and it can’t be explained unless you have been there. 5*. Thanks for writing this story.

Great story. I was drafted in ‘69. Got a dear John 4 months in. She was pregnant and thought she should let me know. In Vietnam guys we’re getting dear johns all the time. I like that she waited for him. That was rare back then. I still can’t forgive this country for exposing us to AO and the way we were treated when we got back. Nice to read a story with a happy ending. He deserved that!

1) Seachanger and Anon just prior to his comment says it best, politically. As a love story it is so good, what a strong woman, strong of character. I think Randog025 has some bad information. he should use Snopes and get the truth. ) or NEXT. Wish we could put our politicians and their children on the front lines. I wasted 7 years avoiding Nam, 3 in college to keep a deferment and 4 in the AF. Did spend a year in Thailand, sweet time.

Hmm. The legal drinking age on the west coast has been 21 since prohibition, so I don't know how much of the rest of this story is believable.

This was a good story, poorly written. It wasn’t as impactful as it could have been.

never mind the details , WAR IS HELL !! how many thousands of our soldiers died in this war,yet commenters want to whine about the details ?? it's like the billy ray cyrus song says all gave some, some gave ALL !!!

Sad but happy story. Terrible the way our returning veterans were treated all because of corrupt and misguided politicians. I served in the Arm for 3 years 1964-1966. I was very fortunate to do my time in Europe. God Bless all our veterans, those that returned and those that did not. I do beleive in the draft but there should no exemptions from it, except if your not physically able to serve. Good story

Someone asked how many of our men died in the Vietnam war? Over 50 thousand needless deaths. Each one of those men had mothers, fathers brothers sisters, wives, girl friends and more left behind. We must never let that happen again.

Good tale of a very lucky man. He survived a horrendous experience and was also lucky she waited for him. Liked it a lot. BardnotBard

thank you LYG

Good story. My Dad served in Vietnam from October 65 to October 66 and my great-uncle from 66 to 67, he was KIA in 67. The only time I saw my dad at peace was the day he died. God Bless all that serve and their families. And God Bless all the heroes that never came home.

I wasn't even allowed to wear my uniform home

Liked it. Wont win a Nobel prize nor a Pulitzer but thats not the point. What it does is let all us vets reflect on a moment that means nothing to others and never will. The truth is in the poor grammar, wrong phraseology and bad language, all the emotional pain. PTSD woven into this tale & sticks out like dog's balls

I didn't go to Nam, my draft number was 264. I did have friends come home in a box - sometimes worse than that. Thanks for the story - Dave

PS 5 stars

Hooah. Three red two green on yellow here, Brother.