All Comments on 'A Treat for a Trick'

Hey BookWurm, excellent! good writing and also editing from "Porksword". As either "Mature" or "Interracial" this is excellent fantasy.

Keep them rolling out... Reminds me of a teacher or two I'd love to meet again!

Damn, being close to the same age as Rita, I was right THERE! Thanks! keep up the great writing!

I quite enjoyed the story ... the characters and the plot were well developed and there was more than a little heat. ;)

The constantly switching viewpoints was irritating, and some of the dialog seemed immature, but the plot was fun and sensual (especially the contact when they were both inside the trench coat). The build up was great, but the actual sex could have had more fireworks and the ending seemed too abrupt.

The party also lacked lots of description, like you were just assuming the reader would fill in the huge gaps (or you didn't want to bother with details...details that happen to make the difference between a decent story and a compelling story). Lots of potential went unrealized; if you rewrote it with more passion and more natural flow and dialog, you'd have one killer of a story.

I know it's quite a few years old, but this is a fantastic story and you really should write a second chapter.