Swipe to see who's online now!
- Erotic Poetry
- Writhing
- Comments
All Comments on 'Writhing'
by klingongal
Sort by:
- 3 Comments
LeBrozover 18 years ago~~
Wild abandon and passion
Weakened by use of too many gerunds (-ing);
Consider, as an example:
"Almost painful
This intense
Burning
Piercing need"
Could be more potent as:
"Almost painful
This intense
Need pierces
Burns"
Just a suggestion. Gerunds have their place in soft romantic pieces.
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Swipe to see more cams!
