by jd4george
forest floor be damp indeed
but quietness aches for echoes
ache for need
I am listening, whisper your memories
in deluge of leaves
Shhhhh... Three Hs are enough. I have a thing about shhhhhhhs and ohhhhhhs.
Oh, the dampness! A bit too much. Maybe drop the (oh) or the (!).
The title was poetry. The poem is very good. Hope you don't mind the insignificant suggestions. :)
I agree with Eve about the title.
There seems to be a new smallness to your writing,
even the other seemed gentle.
It is very good
I was immediately drawn in. Immediately, and held there, although the whence always makes me wince as does oh. just me. I have other comments, if you want, just ask, I hate being nit picky in public :)especially with terrific poems