All Comments on 'Just a Heartbeat Away'

but needs work. Some suggestions:

1) Cut out the rhyme:

Your poem lacks rythmn because of this. Every stanza sounds stilted because of this as well.

2) More dynamic imagery please:

Your imagery is okay but lacks dynamism. Think about showing not telling. Remember to have a balance between concrete and more 'poetic' imagery. Adding similes helps the reader as well.

3) Length:

This was way too long. Run through the poem with a comb, cutting out any unnecessary adjectives and any words that are meaningless.

4) Length of lines:

More short lines please. Having a contrast in line length helps create an effective rythmn.