All Comments on 'black water'

by seranade

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  • 8 Comments
tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
STRONG PEOPLE WITH HARD JOBS

require a good Joe in the morn. TK U MLJ LV NV

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 17 years ago
You forgot Turkish!

But I can rise above that all important omission (just don’t forget to mention it as TURKISH coffee in the Middle East; North Africa and the Caucuses though…). The reason? You got some of the main ingredients right, like the spell and the sweetness and the cupped hands - especially the spell. That spell effect worked particularly well with the nice insertion of the single words in-between the stanzas: “energizing:… “steaming”… “coffee”, like a portion of a whispered spell. All that is left now is to taste the coffee!

LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
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This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 34,500 poems.

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LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
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This poem was mentioned in Wednesday's New Poems Reviews, a picking from Lit's archive.

LeBrozLeBrozover 17 years ago
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One of those well-done writes

That with one word makes you

Want to read it again;

With that subsequent read, so stimulating.

WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
Really good

I like this one a lot! :)

My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleover 19 years ago
mention

Your Poem was mentioned on the thread

'New Poems Reviews'

thanks for the journey~

annaswirlsannaswirlsover 19 years ago
mmmmm

very cool seranade-- loved the descriptions. you might consider dropping off the last word, with such an elusive dance all the way through, for me it was a dull thud.

perhaps hit it a little more softly, with the poetic voice of the rest of the poem. something along the lines of I drink it down or ? black water, tainted by neither cream

nor sugar.

I really did enjoy this, you have a lovely voice and this poem definately made an impression.

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