All Comments on 'A Dream of Love'

this write

has dimension

and i can feel it

as i read it

because i have felt

just that as well.

nice job.

Your poem was mentioned in Saturdays Reviews,

Thanks for sharing.

~ JC

(In the poetry feedback and discussion thread on the bulletin board)

Some very nice lines. Thank you for the read!

You might want to think about making the ending less obvious and therefor better.

Like this best of the two you have today.

Reading through it, I find the last line disappoints;

it's like a statement of fact, a report of desire:

"Please, bring her back, I want to know her."

A thought, on the fly, is that this could be more powerful,

and expressive of emotion with a change in "want"....

"Wanting her back, wanting to know her."

This way it seems to convey a feeling of grasping at an ethereal image that you want to be real in the here and now, not something that passed you in a dream...

I love the feeling of this poem.

A dream within a dream of a woman. Nice n sensual. Can feel your grasping want ... to know, and feel her.

I would also change the last line, maybe where it is not so suddenly *thrust* out at us, ending so quickly etc.

Just the last line, the rest is perfecto in imagery and want~

would be to love her, TK U MLJ LV NV