- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Failed foothold
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Click hereI had a dream
filled with absurd scenes
where I jumped from stock ladders
onto shelves full of merchandise
watched it spill onto the concrete floor
and shatter
then careened through tight
cobblestone covered alleys
driving an RV
pulling a van
pulling a trailer
until totally rattled
I arrived at your doorway
where you sat smiling
your head tilted
looking at photo albums
your hair thin and disheveled
looking tired and pale
surrounded by your family
looking so serene
I turned away
could not comprehend the contradictions
felt your gaze upon my back
heard your say
"I love you"
I cried
and I cried
and I cried
then I awoke
realized it all had been
just a crazy dream
except you had died
and that was crazy too
and this time
I cried
and cried
and cried
but it was real
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- COMMENTS
InnerKittyalmost 18 years agoOh sugar, it was beautiful. So full of emotion, that I too understood, I have stood in these confused and angry shoes.
and cried and it was for real. thank you for the new tears, my admiration of you grows ever deeper. Now on a new level.
thank you for your poetry.
InnerKitty
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoquite a clever little venture..kinda like the Richard Bach book...A Bridge Across Forever...the breakdown of the web...I enjoyed the pen ...blue
cherries_on_snowalmost 18 years agoI liked a lot of the use of repetition here and liked the slow reveal. I might look at the 'looking' repetition because it was unclear what the repetition was pointing to. (Repetition makes me feel like I'm supposed to be looking some direction for some bigger message. Might be able to use that to fuller advantage. Generally though (aside from that nitpick) a fine poem. :-)
Selkie1almost 18 years agothe ending brought a punch I wasn't anticipating ... sad.
My Erotic Trailalmost 18 years agoyour poem began with humor and ended with sadness and it made the transition in a marvelous way (~_~) I enjoyed your write.
