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Click hereI sat on a hillside
freshly mowed
and watched the river bend
I bought some land
for my eternal slumber
where eternity and I will blend
Tall pines rise
along the forest rim
like sentries against the wind
A lone big oak
shades the sun’s showers
filled with moss tencil thin
Six feet south
by the rivers mouth
surrounded by woods and a farm
A nice serene scene
for my last day dream
wrapped in mother earth’s arms
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,000 poems.
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Sure, it may need a little more tweaking, but many poems do.
This one part may need one less rhyming word:
A nice serene scene
for my last day dream
I think serene scene isn't working (in this poem).
Once again, it's a good poem! :)
This is a good poem and paints a lovely picture, but it
does read off a little. I'm being burned and thrown out
of an SUV at high tide at 25mph, but I do like this
plot you have pictured here.
... I struggled a little bit with the cadence, I loved the feel of this verse. It reminded me of my grandfather's plot on a bend in the Ohio River. Thanks. ~Imp