by Evil Alpaca
Several very moving moments to this extremely well written story. Oh, and the sex ain't bad....!
Yet another very very moving story that just happens to include wonderful sex. Reading nearly all of this for the first time, what a treat, thanks
Ah me. It's twelve years between your last story and this comment. I don't know if you'll ever see this comment, but For What it's Worth, there's still somethin' happenin' here.
And thanks for the Petula Clarke reference, and sensitive treatment of the difficulty stuttering imposes.
Evil Alpaca, you're picking on every dirty sick outcome this humanity provides and turn it into a mindful heartful intense tale ....... Have been reading so many of yours by now and that is some really rare precious soulful that you pick up on our sickness and give us readers the opportunity to think about ...... It was the same as with "Farmers" sentence ( about doctors without borders ) being helpless of the shit happen since the beginning of the human race ...... Thank you for this deepness you provide
Evil Alpaca, you're picking on every dirty sick outcome this society provides and turn it into a mindful heartful intense tale ....... Have been reading so many of yours by now and that is some really rare precious soulful that you pick up on our sickness and give us readers the opportunity to think about ...... It was the same as with "Farmers" sentence ( about doctors without borders ) being helpless of the shit happen since the beginning of the human race ...... Thank you for this deepness you provide
A fine story. Not keen on a few words like "box" and "melons"... But the detail in the sex scenes and the evocation of character are great.
Absolutely, Shannon deserves a part two and part three!
Alpaca, you are a very good storyteller. Thank you for sharing with us.
xoxo,
tedi
Wow! A wonderfully written love story. Lots of pain that leads to something very special. Thank you!
The title kept me at some distance beCause I thought of some historical drama. But no, beautifull writing, not too much, very tender. You are great really
Written in great detail! Love the tiny sprinkles and important notes for the whole picture. Can't wait for more (yes, I am hoping for part 2 as well) :)
I worked in law enforcement for a number of years. I remember when women were integrated into our dept. Some were gay, some were not. Alot of male officers looked down on them. Proud to say I did not. Most people will never understands what it like to go to work not knowing if you will survive to go home to your family everyday. Even our spouses and partners never know the fear and the demons in our minds, or the scares in our souls. It does not matter if we are male or female, Gay or strait, we are brothers together. We our the thin blue line that protects society from evil and and anarchy. Stay safe my brothers and sisters!
I admire your writing and regularly reread it all with great pleasure - 'The Queen and the Soldier' is simply the best short story I have read. It is beautifully constructed, the characters are interesting and engaging and as a reader I care about them and how they work though their issues. At the end I am left curious as to the future but knowing enough to feel confident that it will be at least as good as I hope even if I am not given the privilege of observing it.
Thank you.
I really enjoyed this story, the characters were believable and, in this sort of context, that is very important. You can throw so much unbelievable fantasy into something and ruin it, but making the fantasy believable is for the best.
I am pleased to discover that, some 16 years later, there has been no sequel, no follow up; not that this could have been a bad thing but what would we have thought had the next part not been as good? On this site you can find so many attempts at gilding the lily that should never have happened that my heart always drops whenever I see that there is a part 2 in the members story list after reading an enjoyable story; off hand I cannot recall ever finding one that came close to the original.
I have not read any more of this author's stories, not yet, so I am not sure if this suggestion would be a waste - but this story really needed to be edited for spelling mistakes and other errors; when I write I find that, sometimes, my enthusiasm causes 'speeding' mistakes, ie in this story I encountered 'murder' when the what was being referred to was 'murderer'. Also it might help tidy up other problems and punctuation, etc. But I gave it 5 stars, just the same.
This story now ranks as one of my all time favorites. It deserves a follow-on. Unique interesting characters well developed!
Amazing story. One of my favourites on this site. Shannon's stutter was extremely endearing
i am anxiously waitin' for a second part,with a more out goin' shannon,it's an amazin' story,its been rated a +100 by me!
I would love to see a part 2, with Shannon gaining even more confidence, maybe an exchange of I love you's...
This was a wonderful slow burn love story, with Shannon emerging like a beautiful butterfly from a chrysalis of formless tracksuits and plimsoles and sensible knickers. Again, this story ends where a relationship between the two ladies begins, and we are left to guess how it develops. The only clue is that Sandra is taking Shannon to meet her parents.
Would love to find out what happens to sandra and shannon if they stayed together
Wonderful. Intriguing story line, well written. Just an excellent tale.
Thank you so much for that great read, I hope there's more!!! < 3
Glad you brought it up, even if at the end. I thought Sandra was pushing (?) Shannon kinda hard, she didn't have friends and then hooked and reeled in by Sandra. I'm glad for a happy ending. Public sex I think only women should participate. Glad Shannons partner came around, all of us need to. To theLGTB community it takes time to change a society, I'm glad for everyone's patience. Hate and violence isn't going to fix any thing. Sorry for my outburst.
One of the better stories that I have read. I really can't say enough about this story. It had brought out both characters. In some ways I wish that it had gone on, more about meeting Sandra's family, but hey! Can't have everything.
this was one of the best stories ive read. its my favorite :). YOU HAVE TO ADD MORE
Please don't let this be the end!!! What about Jasmine? We have to see how Shannon comes out of shell! This can't be all of the story!!
This is a great story. It has the basis for an even better book! Wow! Great characters and plot.
Good story, but Shannon really doesn't seem like a dress person. There would have been ways to make her look nicer without turning her into a girly girl.
Cliché-ridden. I'm afraid you lost me with the "thousand dollar suit" in the first paragraph. Expressions like "generous breasts" are a turn-off too; as is the standard porn-site sex scene at the end.
That was an excellent story . Hope there's more from where that came from
Oh my God, I've been breezing past this story for months now because I thought it would be about something else with a title like the Queen and the Soldier but this morning it just seemed like the time to give it a try and I'm soo glad i did! This is why they say don't judge a book by its cover haha. I loved it. I can't tell you how much Shannon reminds me of myself from the stuttering to the fighting--damn I loved this story and I'm sure I'll read it many times again in the future.
Seriously, you not publishing a novel would be doing the world a disservice.
This story was amazing and I'd love to see how Shannon and Sandra ended up.
Occasionally I skipped the sex scenes just to continue the story line. It was so deep and really got me attached to the characters. I loved the stutter as well.
Thank you for sharing this great piece of work :)
I have read a lot of short stories but none as powerful as this, witty, erotic and very sensitive to those who suffer from stammers. Awesome!!!!!!
you need to confirm the report before it's any. if you just clicked on it and you cancelled it, there's no report sent.
I loved this story, but I accidentally pressed report story when I was going to the next page. So if anything goes wrong, sorry.
i'd really love to see where these two characters go! amazing story. :)
it's been a while since i read such a fantastic story.. it's in the way you write... it's amazing.. seriously.. :)
i say so far because i'll have to read more of your stories and i'll probably change my mind :) btw i love the fact that shannon has a pet turtle. so cute!
Like dat was 4 real yo keep doin ya 4 real fuckin awesome damn
I started reading your stories about six months ago and I have just finished the last one (other then your gay male, not my thing). Every single one of them is a great story. If I made a list of my top 100 submissions 50-60 of them would be by you. I think your 8-10 page submissions are the finest writing not just on the site, but of any stories I have read. (1st ch TPaS and FB, 5th ch Lost, 2nd to last NFR, last ch Breath...)
Even though your stories arn't funny, I have laughed. I have teared up every time I read FMS. I have missed class and stayed up too late in order to read. I have even used the phrase "that's like saying a hurricane is kind of windy" after a friend got kind of drunk one night.
Most authors on this site ,or in general, create characters and a universe and then procced to beat it to death (Redwall! I dare anyone to read every book in that series they must be up to 20 now). I think you have 4 unique universes in your sci-fi alone. That kind of talent and immagination are so far beyond what most other writters are capable of doing and even the great ones do so inconsistantly. I crave your stories for their quality, uniquness, and language.
I could probably fan rant for a couple more paragraphs but I think I made my point. I look forward to the day I see a new submission by you, and even if I never do I thank you for the stories already given.
Also please never have the names of the two main characters start with the same letter.
Final note: I realize (sp) that I am an awful speller, there isn't a good way to spellcheck on a smartphone and comments lack the importace to deal with the bad ways :)
it really is one of the best things about your stories, fantastic job mate
and more. I couldn't help but laugh at the Polly Shore joke. Took a couple of minutes to compose myself and finish the story. Your characters are so alive and I think that makes your story telling so vibrant.
I can't believe I haven't read this before now. I loved your Lost in Texas Series and somehow wandered back to your submissions and I found this. It really is a beautiful story and a wonderful piece of writing. Keep going!
Another wonderful tale. I enjoyed both characters and getting to know them. I like how you've brought some of you're other stories into the periphery to give the story some familiarity while leaving it to be it's own tale.
please...please ..dear god please! make another installment to these wonderfully sexy and strong vibrant characters. they became so real with the complex past, i would so much love to read a farewell story of them.
on a different not a truely dynamic piece that leaves this reader and many more riviting for more.
c.s
A sexy and romantic tale about the healing power of love.
Well done.
I never read a story so long. Even if there are only 4 pages, i never read all. But your's so wonderful that i can't stop reading. Even if english's not my first language (i'm french). I think that i 'll read your others stories if you wrote some....
Dear Alpaca
Thank you for a wonderful story. After all the cheap beer I've had on these pages, your writing is vintage wine. Thank you for single-handedly reinstating my faith in Literotica's ability to Not just stimulate & excite, but also absorb someone as jaded as me into a beautiful world that is your creation.
Please do continue in the same vein. I wish you complete success in all your endeavours.
Sincerely
Sam
samuelhkane@gmail.com
Dear Alpaca
Thank you for a wonderful story. After all the cheap beer I've had on these pages, your writing is vintage wine. Thank you for single-handedly reinstating my faith in Literotica's ability to Not just stimulate & excite, but also absorb someone as jaded as me into a beautiful world that is your creation.
Please do continue in the same vein. I wish you complete success in all your endeavours.
Sincerely
Sam
samuelhkane@gmail.com
there are no words that i can summon that will fully describe how much i loved this story,the only word that comes to mind is......WOW!!!
The level of depth and appreciation for such an amazing brilliant piece piece of art simply can't be put into verbal words. But the superb anguish that I feel says it all. Doesn't need to be said and sounds corny and cliche but keep up the great work.
Wonderfully well written, captivating detail and exciting to boot! Truly one of the best stories on this site. I liked the reference to the girl band stars of "Lost In Texas" (also an excellent story, by the way). Let's hear a lot more from you!
Magnificient, additional superlatives would be superfluous. A long story with continual developement and interesting tale weaving is a pleasure. Thank you.
And...that said, if it were anyone other than CaptMidnight with the attempt at tossing cold water on The Queen I would be on the war path. Maybe I will go try to get through one of his stories and use my fine toothed comb.
Remember....EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE.
And well written. I have not read any of your other stories, but will be doing so now.
Very well written. Never a dull moment, story flowed perfectly. I look forward to reading more. You have a very sexy mind.
Renee'
I absolutely adored/loved/other good verb here this story. Your characters and plot are so well thought out. And the sex scenes....whew! Hot damn! I'm most certainly going to have to check out your other stories.
But one little point - the escort servicing women and having long nails?? OW. OW OW. That just makes my vagina cry.
But other than that, I completely and throughly enjoyed the story.
A combination that's hard to find.
You never cease to impress me.
I am amazed, stunned, captivated, mesmerised, um.... Let me get my thesaurus and look up a few more words for how Brilliantly talented I think you are and this story is! My first read of any of your works was Lost in Texas, (Thanks for the personal response to my feedback by the way) and I find myself astounded at every new work of yours I read. I am working my way through your stories and find myself checking daily to see if you've honored us yet with more beauty than we truly deserve. If you ever formally publish I'll be the first in line for your first printing!
Might as well say one thing so you don't get too proud of yourself ... California did away with the gas chamber. All the states now have the needle. Occasionally a condemned person in another state will choose another way to die, but the gas chamber was too reminiscent of the Nazis anyway and it didn't really work that well.
That said, this was one BEAUT of a story.
I thought nothing you could do could top "Lost In Texas" but "The Queen" story is amazing. I can't imagine how you create the deep mental state of your characters. I find myself skimming over the sex scenes just to find out where the story is going next then go back to finish later.Thank You So Much. TomJ