All Comments on 'In Defense of Love'

You bastard. you opened my mind to memories forgotten. you found every lession on my soul and ripped the scabs off and let the slimy pus seap out. i saw me in every word. the joys i had flooded back and the things that i had done that were not so joyfull then and even worse now. I knew each of the women you mnetioned. The pain i caused each of them. the pain i caused myself. and to them and becaused you agin made me look at myself again, I am sorry. I was the fool. I can only now see the damage I caused. i am still not sure why i did the things i did. at least you seem to have that much. Me, I was just an asshole.

WRITE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't the words to express what a touching piece of work this was.

Well done.

Wow. Just... wow.

Thank you for sharing this.

Incredibly honest and I thank you for that. You are brave to bare your soul. You are so human and so much a man and that is wonderfully refreshing.

A deeply poignant and moving account. Unfortunately, and as with so many of these touching tales, it will deeply move those with sensitivity and wash over those who could/should learn from it. Like many respondents, I too find elements of my own past here. You present this 'lesson' in an articulate and absobing fashion. Well done and best wishes.

Your affairs with the women were all sad. Eva's story was very poignant until the ending.

In a way, you were lucky to have the time with these women. I am sure it prepared you to find one who you really "connected" with and stayed that way!!

well, being so "sensitive" (i hate it by the way) it DID move me

great job

thank you very much.

i hope everyone reads this.

This is one essay that has more to it than just the sex (if that isnt being blunt i dunno what is). The sex was just to appease to those who might not read this otherwise. Thank you for giving us the hard earned lessons from painful reflections on life. I would like to send this to my friends but only after your permission. Its too personal to do it any other way.

This is by far the best essay I've read on this site in any category, and there are alot of great ones. These intense confessions clearly come straight from the heart, and they certainly touched me. I have always believed in love, but what you have written makes this belief even stronger. Thank you!!

I laughed. I cried! It was beautiful, and your soul is beautiful! Good night! =)

Its the truth and reality of love on a plate. you can read it or eat it. Your choice.

Amazing story. So accurate for me at least, I think I have been in all the categorys you so elegently describe, and like you, feel very sorry for my actions, myself and the way I treated those woman. Wow, never thought a story on this site would make me look inward so deeply and help me understand some things that have happend in my life. Thank you.

That essay is still speaking to me. To love someone platonically but not passionately, to love someone but not have the courage to tell yourself you are in love. To fuck it all up anyway. Yeah, great essay. Thanks for sharing.

If you aren't a professional writer, then I might as well cease thinking about any chance I may ever hope to see of becoming one. Aside from the extremely minor things (which unfortunately I do tend to notice out of habit) such as are instead of our, and the random an+d... this is easily the best piece of writing on the site I have read thus far.

Writing is meant to protray feelings and thoughts as well as serve the purpose of recording events. If this weren't true, what use would we have for it? And in that field you have succeeded more than 100%. Sadly, placing a rating on this kind of work would ultimately demean it by placing boundrys upon how high it can go.

If anyone reads this and comes away thinking they know better than the writer, their life will be long, sad, and full of bitterness.

I only wish everyone knew how to share their life experiences this well...

I've never been moved like this by any essay at Literotica. It is so true. Its awful but I saw myself and some of my relationships in a new light.

Thank you for teaching me something.

Beautifully written.

This really spoke to me. Im 17 by the way, and a virgin, but I really felt moved by this, thanks. You might even have helped me out in future life, you never know....

Were but we were otherwise, so don't feel too badly non-human.

Each of us is a product of choices. Ours and others. Some good. Some bad and some in mindless absentia.

You are more than good. Forget the word choices or mispellings. You can move people. This type of work should be more your bag.

Thanks Author - With Very High Regard

If I were any good at writing, I would be able to tell just how and why this is such a terrific essay. But I will just have to leave it at "thank you" for expressing what is at the heart of this whole sex/love business.

I don't remember stumbling across your other writings; I will go take a look now.

I can't seem to find the button labeled "Perfect" so I guess "100" will have to do. Thank you, C.C., for a wonderful story that speaks to me on multiple levels. Even now I miss Elizabeth fifteen years after that drunk driver killed her. I will forever mourn what was and is no more.

This will be perhaps the third time I've tried to write a comment worthy of this work. Each time, the words I've put together seem trivial and meaningless compared to the depth of insight shown in your writing.

Now, I've once again read it and will leave a comment in the form of a word of encouragement for a friend. She is a woman who needs to know that there are good guys out there, guys who aren't perfect, who sometimes think with their dicks and don't always have the guts to face reality, but who are still - or can become, once they suffer enough bruises - capable of sharing love completely and unconditionally.

I'm going to urge my friend to read this essay. Hopefully it will provide understanding and comfort. Maybe it will help ease her pain.

Charlie, you have done the world a great service. Thanks for for being so honest. Thanks for writing it.

That was amazing. That essay WAS long but i felt gripped by it all the way through...thankyou for sharing that so openly, you seem like such a sentient person and i can see how much you've grown from every one of those 'negative' experiences. It's lovely knowing that men can be insightful and understand the power and importance of love. That may sound sexist but sometimes it seems sex takes top priority with them.

o.

It's incredible how we males frequently think with our penises -- my wife calls it my brain. Anyway, I think you've pointed out to the rest of us that love is a really important aspect of the sexual experience. Sex is so much better with someone who loves you, and you can love them back as much as they love you. Thanks for an honest story, and thanks again for sharing a poignant, yet powerful story.

I think you hit the nail on the head--we don't realize how good we've had it until it's gone. Love is an important aspect of sex, as you pointed out. Without it, sex just becomes a mechanical process; it feels good while you're doing it, but long term, it just isn't as satisfying. Thanks for sharing with us.

Searingly honest. You grab your readers by their hearts and souls, and shake them to the very core. Such honesty is extraordinarily rare, incredibly confronting, and very, very good. A deeply thought-provoking and emotionally shattering essay/story. I can only thank you, sincerely.

I thank you from the depths of my heart for the invaluable advice you have given me and I guarantee I will make good use of it. Although, I am kinda jealous of the sex you did have I guess it does take having such a great sex life (not love) to be able to critically realize the flaw behind it. While an immature part of my says you were crazy not to enjoy what you have gained, the more mature and rational side of me realizes that you are a very wise man and the truths of life you impart can only be gained by experience. Before reading this, I wouldn't have thought twice before falling into the same mistakes you did just to have meaningless sex, but know I feel like I will make the right decisions. I don't know you, but I want to thank you for mentoring me in a way that every one should be mentored but almost no one is.

I didn't mean to read the whole thing. I didn't WANT to read the whole thing.

I read it.

I started reading thinking I might glean a little wisdom without having to learn hard lessons, and instead it drew me in and just... It seems so real, so accurate. I don't know if this is fictional or not, or what truths might have been stressed, but I can say I'm really glad I read it.

It seems a shame that only some of the people in the world will end up reading an essay containing this much beauty.

This was magnificent.

I don't think I've ever been moved so much by an erotic story. I came here expecting a quick jack-off story, and chose this one from the Top Lists section because it was the shortest and highest rated that stood alone and wasn't a continuation of another story.

And here I am, post-sex with a girl who loves me who I'm using as a rebound from the woman I love, tears streaming down my face as I realize what I've been doing wrong, why I'm now sure that I need to stop, and newly convinced that the purpose of life is to love the woman who really means something to you. My pain is echoed in Eva's and Beth's, unfortunately, because I am the dumpee, but reading the repentance that you've beautifully displayed here renews my hope for reconciliation as long as I wait for her and don't cut myself off.

I can only hope that you feel the way you felt for Eva about your wife, and that you're happy now. What a shame that so few people will read the gorgeous imagery and storytelling presented here. Thank you for this gift. I think I know where to take my life from here.

let it come to you

I am a 24 year old guy, this article makes me feel proud of my virginity (ofcourse from lack of opportunity). Before, I thought guys who have casual sex must be the luckiest guys in the planet. After reading this I understand that they are not lucky but lost souls. I pray they all find happiness/love in their life.

I never even noticed it was long. All I knew was that I wanted more, to read more and well like when all great reads come to an end, I felt bittersweet knowing I had finished. Thank you, for your insights and for sharing your lessons learned. Who knows how many more lives you've profoundly touched and possibly have sparked a change.

On to technicalities! Needs to be edited, a few misspelled words and wrong usage here and there. Otherwise, incredible writing. I felt as though we were talking over a bottle of beer on a nice warm night and connecting as two souls. Huh well imagine that lol

Mankind needs to read this. All. Of. Mankind. Oh and about being the next great American novel author, let me know how that goes. I will certainly be on the lookout.

I like to think I write well, I'm articulate, that I have something to say. Then I read this, and I realize that I should just shut the hell up and instead listen. Thank you for your wonderful essay, and for sharing so eloquently the lessons of your life. I, too, greatly regret that so few people will get to hear what you have to say. I have two relatively young nephews, and although it's taking a chance, I'm going to make sure they read this. Thank you again.

Jay

Holy fuck. That was fucking perfect.

CONGRATULATIONS. You are truly a gifted story teller. This essay captures the imagination and creates suspense almost like a thriller.

Of course, it helps that you are right on in your opinions of women and of love relationships. I wonder if these concepts apply equally to same-sex relationships?

Any way -- WELL DONE.

Thanks for sharing.

I read this essay maybe 10 years ago, I was moved and loved every word of it. Now a decade later I started reminiscing about life and remembered this story all of a sudden. I can say with certainty that it is still as powerful if not even more powerful than I first read it. Just the thought of someone like Beth makes my heart sink, I dont know how but I feel heartbroken every time I read that part. I also feel intense dread every time I read the Eva story, every word getting closer to where you just lose everything. I hope I'll remember your lessons when I'm in that position. The stories of Eva and Beth will haunt me forever, as they haunt you.

What a horrible jerk asshole of a guy to hurt so many women in a horrid way. He deserves absolutely NOTHING!

This story is heartfelt, eloquent and the writer a true stoic. To be a good man is hard, hard work, but you give me hope I am on the right path. For the previous commenter who called the author a prick, at least he had the integrity to feel guilt over his actions and share the lessons accumulated throughout his life. Not only did he feel remorse but he defined one of his misadventures as leaving "a lesion on his soul". I can empathize greatly.

Thank you for your story sir.

because it's so true it hurts

We can find inspiration anywhere , though my search for smut brought me here.

But this is an awesome story on all counts . In the longer run , we know our heart knows the truth .

Sex is temporary , love is forever . I have lost , so i know .

Excellent advice and poignant vignettes of your life to drive the points home. Good honest writing. I hope people who read this benefit from your mistakes and heed your words. I appreciate your blatant honesty and sincerity with this piece. Good stuff.