- Non-Erotic Poetry
- upon reading
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i know exactly what she was about
her introspective reflections
her hari-kari moments
self-doubt
she speak my thoughts
she says my words
she lived my life
in the days before pills could numb things
into a rumbling hum, distant from herself
a vacant spot once held by a screaming girl
with a passive smile cracked upon pain
would she have chosen to live
a medicated life of creative sacrifice
would she have lived happy numbed
neither up nor down
vacant smiles not loaded guns,
sleeping pills,
gas ovens
can you reach creation though a pill
inspiration through medication
knowledge through oblivion
static, finding the middle ground dumbed
chained to shadows of the former self
casting off from nothing
sailing into blind half-life, smiling
thoughts of asylums, white walls
quiet places of introspection
the dirty reflection of marred perfection
luring places these
her will strong enough to pull the trigger
to breath deeply the putrid scent of pain
enough, she said, enough to these
perhaps the next round will be better
the bullet chambered
and still i am holding hope
my iron lung, drawing breath for me
and my loaded gun still holstered
but ever aiming back
