- Erotic Poetry
- Spent
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Click hereSaturated
with cabbage roses
we swelter
grope and bask
say I undo your calm collected
beyond whiskey
and the din of disgruntled crack dealers
pleasure swells
a bra strap breaks
incidentals amount
with you inside me
I manage to believe
reality can fuck off
- COMMENTS
Bill Dadaabout 19 years ago'with you inside me
I manage to believe
reality can fuck off'
TY,BD
cantdogover 19 years agoI wish there weren't so many hundreds of thousands of poems here. This is pay dirt. I like it a lot, OMiss.
carsonshepherdover 19 years agoOf red wine nights sweltering under the broken fan.
Love it and you.
Anonymousover 19 years agoAwesome poem and easy to relate to. Great job, sexy~
LadyJeanneover 19 years agolush, and evocative of tangled sheets, damp skin, and liquid filled air. I love the imagery of the lovers' cocoon where you can and do believe the rest of the world can just fuck off. Terrific! Thanks.
Maria2394over 19 years agothis made me feel nasty( in a good way), hurried and very content :)
but, I think, ( just my opinion) that the first part-- would be a bit better if condensed into fewer lines. I do understand the reasoning for short line, I do it often myself, but this would just "flow" easier, in my mind at least, lke this ( hope i didnt offend you by changing it for an example)
*Saturated, with cabbage roses
we swelter, grope and bask*
say I undo your calm collected
~~ I dont quite understand the "say I undo..." could you teall me what that means, or was it just an extra word..? youmight also want to avoid cliched terms such as "calm, collected" they are used so often.
I did enjoy this very much :)
