by Wanton Vixxxen
Rough in spots but also powerful in others. A 5 that could be a 10.
Quote:
A door slams
and I blink;
my book of revelations
lying in my lap.
its dust, not I, undisturbed.
Most powerful in this quote... long, long long lol.. this is a strong work that if it is shortened and weaved tighter holds the essence of a very good poem. I always like your works and this one has great potential due to the emotional qualities held in the lines..
ty for the journey..
Du Lac~
Mentioned in the Sunday reviews
down memeory lane, a very very good poem. I was mezmerised by the excellent write. flowed like a gentle stream in my mind and pulled at the heart through the gut. excellent poetry a 10 in my book too.
great images and well written sentiments here. Loved this:
intage pages of
jaundiced subjects;
burnt umber edges
arching back with
dormant stiffness;
hunching over
in arthritic spasms;
Syn
and there are a few spots that really make this poem stand out. they are:
Some tomorrows never come. (haunting, if not chilling)
A door slams
and I blink;
my book of revelations
lying in my lap.
its dust, not I, undisturbed. (excellent and a re-affirming quality)
********
the concept of the piece is riveting. the title is absolutely wonderful. it makes the word *flashback* look very pale.
read poetry but the title struck a cord today. Well done.
A photo album really is a revealing look back at our lives, and like so many events in our lives, these photographs seem to take on a distant, worn out and faded appearance with time. A very nostalgic piece.
It’s not easy looking back at love lost or a marriage gone bad. After the divorce it’s so easy to remember the negative, the hurt and the hate. Later when neither have spoken a word in decades, it’s hard to remember the fights, the hurt, or the hatred.
All that’s left is the why.
How could two young happy people allow themselves to ruin a perfectly happy union? Who knows? Immaturity maybe, unable to grow emotionally together rather than holding old grudges against one another. Money, kids, the In-laws; these things kill a marriage. But after so long, those images indeed haunt the mind of things that could have been.
This poem explains the memories I have toward my first wife. A small album, smiles, and great love lost.
The subject of this poem is such strong medicine that I suspect it means more to those who have endured a similar experience. Noticed most comment is on the situation rather than the poem. I thought it might be better for a pruning,though am uncertain exactly where.
The emotions you pour out in this one are so strong... I do not have the words to express how reading this makes me feel...
Oh, except... you need a digital camara, you can erase that red eye, and they never get yellowed, it is really amazing. You can save all those to disc, then delete them if you don't wanna see them anymore... oh, that's not the point? oh well. ;-)
Powerful
Painful
Eyes wide open
Unseeing
Seeing Hurt, Pain, Anguish
With clarity not to be denied
What might have been
What was
What's lost
In my first submission to this website (Danser) you left me with a generous compliment. One that looking back now I have feel I have failed to live up to. I have recently written again, and it will be quite possibly my final post here upon release. I thought before reading this how much I had changed as a writer since I started. I think, had I the chance to write my last submission again, it would now be different. I only hope these words can serve as one authors way to deliver a compliment to another. Keep an eye open for, "Our Life, Our God, Our Everything". I think you might like it.
Photo album revives old memories of another lifetime ago with it's joys and sorrows and regrets. Such a sweet melancholy set of verses. Beautiful!
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 34,000 poems.
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Living through such strong memories and not once opening the album -- deep scars?
Lost in reverie, in the dusty attic, memories can take on a life of their own and in this way become more powerful than real life. EM
Sometimes it seems daydreaming can be as real as the reality that's too painful to confront.
Seemed so real til the door slammed. And still seems real even if dealing with dreams and memories. CP
I will never look at my old photos in the same way again. Bravo!