All Comments on 'A Miasmatic Night'

Your poem was mention on the thread, NEW POEMS REVIEWS...

Thanks for the literary journey

~Art~

Not bad, but here are a couple suggestions

Offered for your consideration

On how you could tighten up these lines:

"I step into the night

Enveloped by the dense fog"

Might sound better as:

"I step into the night

Enveloped by dense fog"

Or how about:

"Streetlights broken by the trees

Casting their dancing shadows against the now quiet train"

I think you could get away with leaving dancing in,

But try to make it more active -

"Streetlights broken by the trees

Cast dancing shadows against the now quiet train"

Just a few suggestions with which to get you started.

This lovely ethereal rendering has some lonesome sound images to give it that authentic nocturnal mood. Beautifully Written.

feeling. It has all the ingredients of a dangerous or a deathlike influence that is stalking the night...something may happen..who knows.