All Comments on 'Waiting'

This was a poem that really showed instead of told. I could feel the swirl of emotion from the outside without knowing any of the particular details. Expertly done.You succeeded in capturing something almost impossibly abstract with real accuracy.

feeling, way too well. Don't know that you could have expressed this any better.

BRAVA, matski

v~

Write more, write often, and look deeply -- it shows when you do, and oh, so beautifully.

this moment so perfectly. Wonderful!

... wrote that for me, right? lol

Great job. What everyone else said. Loved it!!!

has been mentioned in the new poetry reviews.

you could have dug this out of my mind - I've been in that spot before, and your words describe it perfectly. Beautiful.

... to 5 bomb you, love. But this one just doesn't quite sit there for me. It's close, though -- very close. You've nailed the feel of the moment, no doubt about that -- but the language could be tighter and the punctuation allow for a smoother read. (Damn, I feel like such a low life prick saying that. Who the fuck am I to criticize? Please don't hate me, now.)

I think this would be a good one to record! I can already hear your yummy voice wrapping itself around "at the sight of you."

Kisses,

~ Imp

Beautifully captures the anticipation and internal exhilaration associated with meeting a loved one.

The word "noisily" is a little jarring, but otherwise I like your word choice and sentence placement on the page. A neat little gem, which I'm sure many will savor!!

and beautifully told.

and touching. I know this jumping-up-and-down-inside feeling and your words expressed that energy beautifully. Thank you.

tendril vine descending of witty and touching words~

very nice poem~

First read through wasn't good for me, but then I realized that was because I hadn't devoted all my attention to it. The second read was a very different story, though. The words, few though they may be, had enough umph! to make me slow down and really pay attention to the picture they painted.

As for the forbidden part, I love the composure at the end, insinuating a secret or something held so dear it isn't (for whatever reason) public. Despite boiling and churning, the outside world is unaware of the storm within. I love that. Love is often tastier when kept to oneself and savored.

~lucky