It's About Time

Troy Kettles stared intently through the moving wiper blades as a steady rain beat upon his windshield as he headed south along I-75. He grumbled to himself and cursed his fate. He had hoped to be alone with Erin, but they would now be stuck indoors with too many people milling around for them to really talk. That was too bad because he really wanted to get to know Erin all over again.

Erin Mackay was Troy's first love and he was seeing her again for the first time in over ten years. She called him to personally invite him her parents 50th wedding anniversary party.

"You've got to come," she pleaded with him over the phone. "There's so much we need to talk about." Troy didn't need convincing.

A rumbling thunder in the distance seemed ominous as the further south he drove, the blacker the clouds seemed to become.

His thoughts drifted to his early teenage years when they first started dating, if you could call it that. Every once in a while, Erin would invite him over along with some of her friends and spend the evening playing games, cards, or records. It was before he had his drivers license and Troy's parents would drive him the half hour to Erin's house and stay with her parents until the party broke up. Troy and Erin's fathers had been best buddies growing up in the 1940's and 50's so it was a good time for them, too.

Every Memorial Day and Labor Day, Erin's parents would invite Troy's family over for a cookout. Troy would always have a great time with Erin and he couldn't wait to get his license so they could go out together. Before he could invite Erin out on a real date, though, he met her future husband at one of the picnics. He took it hard, especially since he now knew Erin obviously didn't have the same feelings towards him. Outwardly, she treated him the same as always; smiling, friendly, and the normal chatterbox she was around him.

Troy wasn't particularly impressed with Jake, her beau. Four years her senior, he had already graduated high school and was a mechanic at one of the local repair shops. Finding him neither witty or charming and seemingly being nothing but a hard drinking teenager, Troy wondered what she saw in him.

In his eighteenth year, Troy was invited to their wedding. Briefly considering not going, he went anyway and had a dismal time. He did dance once with Erin at the reception, but couldn't tell her he was happy for her. How could he? How could he be happy for her when he knew in his heart Jake was totally wrong for her?

Was Troy the right one for her? He couldn't honestly say he was considering they never really dated, but they had always liked each other and he would have welcomed the opportunity to find out.

Troy's mind flashed forward to her parents 25th anniversary party. Coming alone with three small children in tow, Erin greeted him with the same friendliness and smile as always, but she couldn't mask her sadness when he asked about Jake. It came as no surprise to Troy to find out Jake was on a fishing trip and couldn't be bothered to come. They talked endlessly, but he received no particular satisfaction upon hearing her troubles as she poured out her feelings about her husband and her life with him up to that point. He could only feel sadness for her.

"The only good thing about this marriage are these kids," she said to him. "They're my life."

There was no surprise when he heard they divorced a year or so later. They kept in sporadic contact with each other over the next few years as she moved to West Virginia to be with her sister. Troy had married by then to a sweet girl named Amy whom he had met through a mutual friend. Erin was invited to the wedding, but didn't come.

Troy broke out of his thoughts and concentrated on the task at hand. The rain was coming down harder and sky was blacker. Immediately, it reminded him of the day of his wife's funeral with all the gray and sadness mixed in. Only three months after she had been diagnosed with cancer, she was taken from him. She was only twenty six and they had been married but two years. Their daughter was only a year old at the time.

Erin traveled the five hours to be at the funeral against her new husband's wishes, but she didn't care. They had been corresponding a little more often by then, especially during those last horrible weeks when he needed to talk to someone, anyone about what he was going through. Troy remembered her hug near the coffin as if it were yesterday instead of eighteen years. It lasted a long time and it comforted him more than he could tell her.

It would be almost ten more years before he saw her again, this time at her parents 40th anniversary party. A warm hug was her greeting and they talked for quite a long time. He also met her husband, Harry, who eyed him warily. Troy was later told Harry glared at him every time he was around Erin. This struck Troy as being odd and he laughed when told of it. He thought it to be ridiculous for Harry to be jealous of him, especially since they lived five hours apart and only saw each other every five or ten years. Yes, they still sent cards, letters, and emails to each other, but it was entirely innocent. He was past that stage in his life. In fact, he dated very little since Amy passed and spent his energies taking care of his daughter, Sarah.

Now, it was Erin who seemed to be reaching out to him. He had planned to go to the party anyway because he liked her parents and they treated him like family. Little did Troy know, but Erin's mother confided in Troy's mom how disappointed they had been that Erin and Troy had never got together and how disappointed they had been in Erin's choices for husbands. Not that it really mattered. Troy hadn't been happy with her choices, either, but that had never been any of his business. From her letters, she hinted at being unhappy with her second husband, but it never went beyond that. Erin never was open to Troy about her second marriage, only revealing glimpses and glances of her married life. All her daughters were grown, so it was just the two of them.

Troy followed the familiar route to her parents house, making turns here and there until he came upon their street. As he neared their house, both sides of the tree lined street were filled with cars and he knew it would be quite a walk for him once he found a parking space. Eventually, he did find a space not too far away. When he arrived at the house, the door to their three car garage was open and many people he didn't know were milling about or watching the rain beat down on the pavement.

Closing his umbrella after entering the garage, Troy looked around for a familiar face. Finding none, he placed his umbrella in a corner and made his way into the house. Almost immediately, he saw his parents talking to various persons in the living room. They would be celebrating their own 50th anniversary in the fall of the year. He greeted his white-haired mother with a hug before introductions were made to the strangers with whom she was speaking.

"Erin asked about you," his mother said a few seconds later. "She wondered if you were coming."

"She did? I told her I would when she called last week." He scanned the room, but didn't see her. "Where is she?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen her for a while."

"Okay. I guess I'll look around for her."

He left his mother with her friends and mingled about the main floor. He talked to a few people he knew, mainly Erin's brothers and sister and a few of her cousins he knew from years before. He saw two of Erin's daughters sitting on the sofa and couldn't believe how much they had grown. They were each a younger version of their mother, although perhaps just a bit prettier.

Not seeing Erin anywhere, Troy moved towards the kitchen. Erin's mother, Dorothy, spotted him and edged over to him.

"I'm so glad you could come," she beamed before giving him a light hug. "There's plenty to eat, so grab a plate and dig in," she continued. "Erin's around here someplace, but I'm sure you'll find each other soon enough."

"I guess we will," Troy answered. "Where's Robert?" Robert was Erin's father.

"He's probably downstairs telling stories or something." She rolled her eyes. "Now, you go get something to eat and we'll have a nice long chat when this crowd thins out. I can't believe we invited this many people!" She rolled her eyes, shook her head and hurried off to another part of the house.

Troy wasn't all that hungry at that time, but the veggie tray appealed to him, so he got a plate. He picked a few carrots and celery from the serving dishes and spooned some of the dip onto his plate.

"Well, it's about time you showed up," a familiar voice said behind him, her soft West Virginia drawl coming out.

Troy smiled to himself and slowly turned in her direction. The surprised look on his face amused Erin as he stared.

"What happened to your hair?" he asked. He had never seen her in any way except with her long, strawberry blonde hair hanging straight down her back. It had been cut short in a very fashionable style, the curls from her fresh perm framing her face nicely. She was still the pretty woman he knew for so long.

"Well, isn't that a nice greeting? I had it cut and got rid of some other baggage along the way."

She looked at him through her pale green eyes. He hadn't really changed too much over the years. A little grayer and a bit heavier perhaps, but his brown eyes were just as warm and expressive as ever.

Troy put down his plate as Erin moved towards him and reached for him. She hugged him lightly before letting go.

"I'm really glad you came," she said softly. "I have so much to talk about."

Troy looked around, but didn't see her husband. "Where's Harry? Back in West Virginia?"

"I suppose," Erin sighed. "We divorced a few months ago."

Troy blinked, but regained his composure. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, you're not," Erin giggled. "I know you better than you think. You didn't like Harry and I know you hated Jake."

"Well, you're right and wrong. I didn't give a thought about Harry one way or the other, but I can't say anything good about Jake after the way he treated you. I am sorry that you divorced."

"Are you?" She studied Troy for a moment to see if he was telling the truth.

"I never like seeing you unhappy," he answered.

"I'm not unhappy," she exclaimed, touching his arm. "I get to spend the rest of the day with you!"

She led him down a hallway to her father's study away from the crowded kitchen and living room. It had stopped raining by then and some of the guests were roaming the back yard. Erin looked out the window and smiled.

Turning back to Troy, she said, "Remember all those games we used to play out there when you guys would come over for Memorial Day?"

Troy smiled and nodded. It brought back happy memories.

"Sometimes, I wish we could go back and relive those days. We had so much fun."

They sat down on a small sofa near Robert's desk.

"Can I ask you something?" she looked at him seriously.

"Sure."

"Why didn't you ever ask me out back then?"

The question caught Troy off guard. He thought it was quite obvious why he never did.

"My God, Erin, you were dating Jake when we were fifteen! What was I supposed to do? I had no job and I didn't get my license until I was seventeen. I couldn't compete with him. Besides, you were head over heels for him and you know it. That's a pretty silly question to ask."

"I suppose so," she agreed. "I wish you had, though," she said in a low voice.

"What?"

"I wish you had asked me out. Maybe I wouldn't have screwed up two marriages if you had done that." She shook her head from side to side slowly.

"That's a pretty unfair statement," Troy countered. "We were only fifteen back then."

"But, don't you wish we could go back and do it all over again? God, if only I knew what an ass Jake was, I never would have married him. We did have great kids together, I'll give him that."

Troy sat back and thought for a moment. "We always have regrets and think things could have been different. I don't know."

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course."

"Do you regret us not getting together?"

Troy looked at her. "I think it would have been nice to find out, but I would never give up the time I had with Amy. I can honestly say those were the best three years of my life. I wouldn't give those up for the world. Plus, I got Sarah from her."

"Where is she?" Erin asked.

"She's back at Penn State taking summer classes to get ahead."

"Very studious, just like her dad."

Troy smiled at the compliment. He was very proud of the fact he had raised her in a time when single fathers were rarely heard of. Of course, he had help from his parents, but he was the one who tucked her in at night, played games with her, sat with her while she did her homework, and helped her through puberty and boys. She was Amy reincarnated and he never forgot that.

"She's got her mom's brains, that's for sure."

"Don't sell yourself short."

"Alright," he said sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.

Erin stood and walked to the window once more. The sun was starting to peek out from behind the clouds and it was turning out to be a pretty nice day after all. Troy looked at her in admiration. Sure, she was older and had put on a few pounds, but she still looked good for forty- four.

"Care to take a walk?" she asked.

"Sure," he replied. "Let me finish my plate first."

Minutes later, they were strolling her old neighborhood. Every once in a while, a breeze would blow through the trees sprinkling raindrops upon them. It was becoming warm and sticky now as Ohio's mid-July humidity was taking hold. When they came to a small park, they sat down for a minute.

"How long will you be in town?" he asked when they had been seated for a few seconds.

"Only a few more days," she answered, thinking about saying more, but letting it go at that. "Do you think about her?" she asked out of the blue.

"Who?"

"Amy."

Troy sighed and looked down. "You know, when she died, I thought I would never get over it, that I couldn't possibly live without her. I thought I would be a horrible person if I didn't mourn each and every second of the rest of my life. But, time does strange things to you. First, I didn't think about her every second. Then, it was every minute or hour. Nowadays, I think of her from time to time. I thought about her today on the way over. The rain reminded me of the day of her funeral. Things like that remind me of her. Silly things, I guess."

"Those memories aren't silly," Erin countered.

"No, I guess not. I remember you came to the funeral. You really helped me a lot that day.."

"I did? How?"

"Just being there. I didn't expect you to come."

"I had to."

"Why?"

"It was the least I could do."

"I don't understand."

Sighing, Erin stood before looking back. "It seems like my timing has always been wrong when it comes to you and me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I married Jake without ever dating you or ever trying to find out if you wanted to date me. When I got divorced from him, you were already married to Amy. When she died, I had just married Harry. We just kept missing each other, Troy. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Things sometimes happen that way."

"I was angry when you and Amy got married."

"You were? Was that why you didn't come?"

"Yeah. I was stuck with a loser and Amy got the winner." She crossed her arms and looked away.

"Well, I wasn't too thrilled when you and Jake got married, if that makes a difference."

"It does," she said, "but at least you came to my wedding. I should have done the same for you."

"You were very pretty that day. I was jealous as hell!" he laughed.

"How sweet of you to say," she said as a smile peeked out. "I'll bet you cut a handsome figure in that tux, too."

"I don't know," he said softly. "I wish you had come, though."

"For revenge?" she laughed lightly.

"No," he answered. "I was really disappointed when you didn't show. I just wanted to see you, that's all. I wanted Amy to meet you, too."

"I guess I should have met the woman who was lucky enough to snare you." Erin sat down again next to him. "How come you never married again?"

"Oh, there were a number of reasons, I suppose," he sighed.

Troy looked away with his hands folded in front of him as Erin waited for him to continue. "There was a lot going on during those years, you know, taking care of Sarah and my work. At that time, I know I thought no one could take Amy's place, so why try? By the time Sarah was old enough to start asking questions about her mother, I felt I had been out of the game too long to start dating again. Sometimes, I think I was wrong for not marrying again and giving Sarah a mother figure. But, I guess she turned out alright."

"More than alright," Erin countered. "You did a great job."

"My folks had a lot to do with that."

"I'm sure they did, but you are her father and you should take credit when you deserve it."

"I guess."

Troy tilted his head towards the sudden stiff breeze that swept through the small park. The sun was beating down on them and it was hard to believe a storm had torn through there just an hour before. He turned back to her.

"You know, it's always been so easy to talk to you. Even when we were teenagers, I never had trouble talking to you, never felt nervous like I did around other girls my age."

"Come on, Troy, we were always friends. For as far back as I can remember, we had you guys over for picnics and stuff like that. You were always easy to talk to, too. I can't believe you were nervous around other girls. It seems so unlike you."

"Why did you start dating Jake?" he asked, changing the subject. "I could never understand what you saw in him."

"Jake," she said bitterly, "was really nice when he wanted to be. Plus, he had a car and a job and he took me places, places where I shouldn't have been at fifteen. He was exciting, the bad boy kind of date, I guess. You were right a while ago when you said I was head over heels for him. I was and I was an idiot. My parents tried to talk sense to me, but I wouldn't listen. I thought they were being mean because they didn't like him. If I had only listened. Six years of marriage was way too long."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as a few squirrels playfully frolicked nearby. A young couple walked by arm in arm, casually strolling as if they had all the time in the world to take in the beauty of the day.

Erin wistfully wished for a simpler time long ago when life wasn't as complicated and all she had to do was worry about her family, friends, school work, and her wardrobe. Thirty years had gone by in a wink of an eye, but here beside her was the same person with whom she had talked so easily before. Sure, the subjects had changed. They had certainly changed, but in her eyes, he was still the same gangling teenager with the crooked smile. She had been such an idiot for pushing him aside all those years ago.

"So, what are you going to do now?" he asked, breaking her thoughts.

"Well, I'm not too sure right now. The kids are on their own and I have this big house all to myself. I'll probably sell it and give half of the money to Harry. He deserves that, at least. We had some good times together. I guess I'll find a small place and get settled. Other than that, I'm not too sure." She smiled at Troy. "What about you? What are you up to?"

"Nothing much different than what I have been doing. I have a few more years until I can retire, but I don't know if I will." He was a sergeant for the Kettering Police Department. "Getting Sarah through college is top priority right now."

"Do you think you'll start dating again since she's grown and basically on her own?"