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you come to me on days of trancendence
the days of January
we missed due to sleep
days I forget the hour
the month since you have gone
confirmation gift:
a crow dropped
your daughter's gold necklace and cross
down the chimney
it sounded like something much larger
we could not make out the words
2.
your lover captured you
in voice-over photographic collages
barely recognizable
you do not move
3.
a young boy
climbed on the bench
next to a beautiful woman
kneeling close
he pushed the hair
from her face
and touched her cheek
4.
an elderly woman wears breakfast
in stains down the front of her ruffled blouse
she watches the birds scatter for imagined crumbs
the wind blows hair into her eyes
she sees more birds scatter for imaginary crumbs
5.
you come to me
these days where all rises over impossibility
ozone sharpness raises the hairs on my forearms
electrons at my fingertips
wait for release
6.
the boy saw you stream down the storm drain
I know he saw you there
the way he chased the water
and watched it fall
and fall
and then disappear
but still it kept coming
still it kept coming
it must be raining
somewhere in the North
because still you keep running on down
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,500 poems.
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I just love 'in voice-over photographic collages' Also I think you are right, 'it must be raining somewhere in the North'
ty,BD
"you come to me on days of trancendence"
good open, followed by the crow dropping the cross, demands attention
#3 is a bit shopworn, but a nice visual
#4 blows me away, consider changing imaginary to imagined to mirror other line more closely.
#5 - like
#6 I like the use of the words you(3) coming(2) fall(2) down(2); hypnotic
#3,4,5 have hair, easy enough to put it als into #2, consider a unifying word,
*11
I was able to finish the poem but it didn't help me understand what in the well.... you were saying??? I read your poem <grin