Journey Back to Love

Target acquired! After patiently stalking my prey, I prepared to strike. Slow and steady, no need to rush. I hold my breath as I close the distance.

Lining up the shot I took aim and - Fired!

Abort, abort! Danger! Take cover!

Drat, the wind must have shifted at the last moment. When will I ever learn? Chancing a peek over my monitor my gaze met a pair of sparkling gray eyes. The twinkle told me I just might be in for some trouble.

When you're one of those green-eyed redheads with pale skin, everyone could tell when you blush. Judging by my flush, I was doing that big-time.

Those of us who work the night shift in my office tend to find amusement where we can. Sometimes that can backfire as it had just now. I had just scored a direct hit on the wrong target.

And the unintended recipient of that misdirected projectile was Nick, the dark haired, gray-eyed star of a few of my more interesting fantasies. Another thing about night shift, there's very little to think about. Nick had been my unknowing playmate for almost a year. He has strong arms and firm thighs, and the thing that caught my attention in the first place, his butt. He has an adorable butt. It is very difficult not to grab it when he has to bend over. So far I have managed not to make a fool of myself.

Unfortunately, I had just managed to get his attention and not in a good way. Feeling a presence behind me I turn my head slowly and glance up. There, holding the errant missile was Nick. I slowly rotated the chair to face him, wondering as I did if I could die of embarrassment. I sighed as I realized I was going to live to face those twinkling eyes.

"I think this is yours." He grinned as he held out the rubber band. I glared at it, willing it to bust into flames for not flying to my intended target. Alas, it just sat there so I held out my hand to take it.

"Wow, how did you get that?" I tried to look totally innocent but I am a terrible liar. Plus the blush that covered my face had to be visible on Mars.

"Just lucky I guess." He winked as he puts the soft rubber floppy circle into my outstretched hand. Then he covered my fingers and closed them over it. The heat of his skin on mine was intense. I looked quickly at him to see if he noticed and met his startled look.

"Well, thanks for bringing it back safe." I tried to joke to cover the awkward moment. Glancing down I realized he still had my hand. Our eyes met again and he smiled as he let go.

"Be careful. I wouldn't want the poor thing to get lost again." With that he sauntered away. I wondered the whole time if he knew how cute his butt was when he walked. Dejectedly I turned back to my pile of work and tried to climb over it as though it was Mt. Everest.

A few days later I had all but forgotten the rubber band bandit. Standing in the hallway at break I was leaning against the wall talking to my friend Tammy. We were debating the feasibility of using paper airplanes to bother the supervisor. All at once Tammy's eyes got really big. Then I felt someone behind me. Then a mouth close to my ear whispered.

"I found your little friend. It seems to like me or something." Then I felt a hand in my back pocket. The hand slid almost all the way in facing my butt, cupping it for a moment before pulling out. Then the warm body was gone with a soft laugh.

"What did Nick want?" Tammy wondered, watching the interesting blush rapidly take place on my expressive face.

"Oh, nothing." I lied and reached into my back pocket, pulling out a rubber band. Now I know I didn't throw this one at him. I haven't thrown one since the day I accidentally used his for target practice. Should I go and declare my innocence or just let it go. Far easier to let it go I am sure. But I never do anything the easy way. Plus I still had 10 minutes left on break. And at 4 in the morning denial seems like a good plan of action.

"I have to go, Tammy." I say, as I walk away twirling the rubber band on my finger.

I found Nick in a perfect position. He had one hip planted against a partition talking to one of the IT guys about the new system upgrades our department was getting ready to implement. I stepped up to his back, out of sight of the IT guys, and whispered directly into his ear.

"This wasn't my little friend. Someone else must have wanted you to have it." That said, I tucked my hand in his pocket, only to have it stick there as he shifted slightly at the waist. I wiggled my fingers against the tight butt trying to get free of the trap.

When that didn't work I used my knuckles to pinch his butt hard. That straightened him up quickly as I yanked my hand out and walked quickly away, hoping no one had seen me feeling him up.

No such luck. My friend Ann caught up to me as I reached the bathroom door.

"What in the world was that about?" she demanded as I almost ran into the large restroom. I looked around to make sure there were no drama queens in the room.

" Nothing! I just had to give him something, that's all!" I hissed at her as I rushed towards the nearest stall.

"You had your hand on his butt, Clare."

She was openly laughing because she knew I thought he had a cute tush. She was the only one in the department that knew and now that knowledge was feeding her fit of laughter.

"Well, did it feel like you thought it would?" she snickered out.

Ever since my divorce 6 months ago, Ann had been trying to get me to start dating again. She had even suggested Nick a couple of times since she knew I found him attractive.

"Very funny, Ann." I was pouting now which was not becoming on a 30-year-old woman. I was just not ready to leap into dating. I really hadn't met anyone that seemed interesting and Nick didn't count. He was 4 years younger than me and I did not have any intention of embarrassing myself by even flirting with him, let alone anything else.

"Ann, you know how I feel about that. He is young and sexy. I am not going to humiliate myself. I am not his type." I said this as I washed my hands and stared in the mirror at myself.

I am cute, or so I am told. But aren't most overweight women told the same thing? I had been married for 12 years before my divorce. My entire adult life had been spent with one man.

The idea of another man in my life was daunting. The idea of another man passing judgment on my body was absolutely terrifying. In today's world it's not socially acceptable to be heavy. I used to have a great deal of confidence but in the aftermath of a harsh divorce I am no longer as self-assured as I would have liked.

"Clare, you never know if you don't try." This was Ann's favorite line. She had used it on me many times in the past. It'd never worked. I wonder why she kept trying?

"Ann... bite me." I said as I walked out the door and into the hall. And guess who was walking by and heard the last part of that statement? Yup, you guessed it.

"Um..oh, boy." I looked at the floor for a convenient hole to open up. No luck though. Looking up I caught the slight wink as Nick opened his mouth to speak.

"Is that an invitation, Clare?" The smile he gave me was so sexy my heart almost stopped. Oh, lord, I am gonna just melt into a puddle of goo at his feet. How awful is that.

"Only if you want it to be." I was shocked my voice was so normal. And so was he by the look on his face. With a slow turn, I headed back to the department, wondering what in the world I had just done. Did I really just say something flirtatious? I looked around but, no, the world hadn't ended.

"Clare!" I heard Ann's hurried footsteps behind me but didn't stop. I couldn't face her right then. I had to think. Maybe I was sleeping. That's it! I am not awake. This was a nightmare. Someone will walk by and wake me up any minute now. (Jeopardy tune plays in background) Guess not.

"Clare, stop!" Ann was right behind me so I slowed my step but I don't stop. I needed to get distance between myself and the imposter that was flirting with people.

"Yes, Ann?" I said with only a slight squeak in my voice.

"That was awesome. His jaw hit the floor." She slapped me on the back as she passed me on her way to her own desk. Lovely. Now I was responsible for damaging his jaw and possibly the floor. I wondered if that was covered under Workman's Compensation.

A full week went by and nothing else awful happened. But I had become extremely aware of every move Nick made. I am always sure to keep the entire department between us at all times. If I didn't know better I would swear he was glaring at my back every time I avoided him.

That night our manager called a meeting. This meant we all dropped what we were doing and, like half asleep zombies, we gathered around and tried to stay awake while she talked about stuff most of us didn't care about.

I moved out of her line of sight and just rested my head against a nearby wall. I rubbed at my neck absently trying to ease away the stiffness.

Suddenly a warm hand brushed mine aside and stroked my neck soothingly. I relaxed and melted under the touch for a moment. Then my head snapped up and I stiffened. Who in the world would have the guts to do this at work?

"Shh, you don't want to interrupt the meeting. "Nick's voice whispered close to my ear. I knew he had a point. The manager was notorious for embarrassing people who interrupted her. I felt his hands resume stroking my neck, alternating between firm and feather light touches, causing goose bumps to rise on my flesh.

This was so unfair, my mind growled. But I stayed still. Then I felt his mouth near my ear again and he nibbled the ear lobe gently. I was willing to bet my eyes were bigger than my face at that point. His tongue was now working on my ear as he sucked it. I think he was trying to kill me. This had to be some sort of revenge. I wondered if he realized how profound an effect he was having on my body. I was ready to purr like a cat.

"You and I need to talk. You can't keep running away every time you see me." That was growled into my moist ear. Although the ear was nowhere near as moist as my panties were then. My mind was panicking trying to figure out a suitable response. Then the meeting was dismissed. I popped out of my seat so fast I must have looked like a jack-in-the-box. I moved away from Nick without looking back. "I'll keep running as long as he keeps following", I thought..

It was a shame I hadn't heard more of that meeting, I thought, a week later. It would have saved the shock of walking into this mess. Our department was undergoing some changes. I just didn't realize how drastic or how soon it would take place. I found myself in a maze of half built workstations and equipment. This made work very unpleasant.

And to top it off the new software had been giving us fits. I had just finished up my fifth 12-hour shift in a row. And with a lot of other things on my plate I had almost no sleep all week long. To say I was exhausted would be putting it mildly. Every processor in the department had been pulling long hours trying to keep up with the workload.

I groggily grabbed my things and waved weakly to those that were still there. I made my way through the maze of construction materials and workers with exaggerated care. I almost felt like I was intoxicated I was so tired. I needed to get home. I had 4 days off and I planned to sleep through all of them.

I waved to a security guard as I pushed through the revolving door that led to the almost deserted parking lot. It was breezy and cold outside. Pretty typical for an Ohio February.

It was only 5:30 in the morning. How was it possible to be awake at this ungodly hour? I saw my car way at the back of the lot and groaned out loud. My feet don't want to go that far. I wondered if I could just take a nap on the curb. I sighed and started walking. I stopped at the curb to allow a car to pass when it stopped right in front of me. I didn't even look up. I just moved to step behind it.

As I reached the back end someone stepped in front of me.

"Come with me," a soft voice demanded. I blinked and looked up, meeting the concerned gaze of Nick.

"Nick, I need to go home. I am too tired to argue with you today." My voice was scratchy. I was not sure when I had last spoken out loud. I was too tired to notice how sexy he looked how warm his eyes were, as they took in my tired eyes and mussed auburn hair. The clips that had held the long tresses must have worked their way loose a long time ago. I didn't even care that he was seeing me in my most worn blue jeans and oversized red T-shirt. How awful I looked was nothing compared to how I felt.

"Clare, just get in the car. You are too tired to drive. You will end up killing yourself or someone else." He propelled me into the front seat of his car. I was too tired to put up much of a fight. I leaned my head back and let my eyes close. Oh, blissful silence. I didn't know how long I drifted that way.

"Clare, we need to get you out of the car. Come on, Hun." I wanted to argue that I was too comfortable but it took too much effort so I just allowed the gentle hands to guide me.

At one point I felt hands removing my jacket and shoes. Then I was pretty sure I giggled as my pants were stripped away. I vaguely remember taking off my bra during that fit of giggles. After that I just remember feeling the softness of a pillow under my heavy head. Then lovely sleep overtook me.

Bone melting warmth. That was my first conscious thought. Every muscle was loose and relaxed. I stretched slowly, each limb separately, enjoying the sensation of flexing one at a time. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so wonderfully peaceful. My mind drifted in that half-aware place between sleep and the neither world of dreams. Random thoughts floated in and out of focus. But one thought kept popping up with greater and greater frequency. Was that coffee I smelled? Followed quickly by the thought that I shouldn't drink anything until another problem was taken care of. In the end, the call of nature roused me from my warm haven.

I sat up slowly stretching my arms over my head, feeling my hair tumble down my back. My eyes opened mid-yawn to stare at a delectable butt. Said bottom was encased in faded black jeans, a space worn into the right back pocket that obviously held a wallet. I first realized I recognize the pants, which meant I knew whose butt that was. My mind had a hard time associating my sleepy state with seeing someone that had only ever seen me fully clothed and in a room full of people.

Fully clothed. Panic hit, as the reality of my situation became apparent. I was NOT fully clothed. Lifting the blankets I looked down at my T-shirt and bare legs. I am thankful at least that I have panties on. With dawning horror I also found that I was not in my bed. Which stood to reason, since this wasn't my room!

My eyes traveled over the interior swiftly, taking in the soft navy blue comforter that surrounded me. The plush pillows scattered over the bed were in various jeweled tones. The walls had a golden hue in the pale sunshine. Wood floors had bright rugs scattered around. There was a neat dresser across the room next to the door with almost nothing on top of it. A nightstand next to me held a brass lamp with a cobalt blue shade. My bag was on a plush looking tan chair in front of a window whose shade was drawn in an attempt to keep the February sun from filling the room.

"Good morning, Clare. How did you sleep?" Nick turned around holding what looked to be a big oversized robe. Oh, goodness, this is a dream, isn't it?

"You look much better than you did this morning. I have breakfast in the kitchen when you're ready to come out. You can put this on and I will meet you out there. The bathroom is the first door on the right." He laid the robe on the foot of the bed and walked quickly from the room.

Grabbing the robe I jumped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. First things first. I will deal with why I am here after I deal with my body's needs.

After going to the bathroom, I set about trying to look a bit more human. I borrowed the brush from the bathroom sink and tried to tame the tumble of hair that seemed to have a mind all its own.

I tried to brush my teeth with my finger and some toothpaste, but it didn't seem very effective. A splash of cold water on my face seemed to revive me.

With a last look in the mirror I shrugged and headed for the kitchen. Something smelled awesome and my stomach was informing me that it was empty.

Standing at the door I watched as Nick set a plate down on the table. There was food in the center and two place settings. I felt very shy, not sure how to act or feel. I had held him at a distance for so long. His gentle concern was breaking down all the barriers I have had in place for so long.

"Feeling better?" Nick saw me in the doorway and came over, guiding me by the elbow to a seat. He held the chair for me when I sat, then placed a soft kiss to my cheek.

"Much better, thank you. Nick.." He stopped my questions with a finger over my lips.

"Let's just enjoy breakfast. Then we can talk, ok?" He sat across from me and started dishing out food.

"This all looks and smells wonderful." I figured it was easier to wait and see what was going on. I didn't want to argue anymore. I didn't feel like I needed to hold back. It was like the awkwardness I felt before was gone, leaving me able to relax with him for the first time.

"I hope you like omelets. And the bacon just finished when you woke up." He started eating and watching my every move.

"I love omelets. And the bacon looks perfect." I took a bite and closed my eyes as I chewed. I hadn't realized how hungry I really was. I reached over and poured some orange juice into a waiting glass and took a long drink.

"Your face is so expressive." He was watching my mouth as I chewed. I tried not to choke as I swallowed. The look on his face was one of hunger. And I don't think it was for food.

"Yes, it's a curse." I could tell I was blushing. It had been a long time since I had been seated across from a man at a breakfast table, let alone one that looked like he wanted me for breakfast.

"I think it's a gift. I can tell when you are happy, sad, nervous, or embarrassed. I bet it's easy to see when you are pleased." This was said in almost a whisper. Almost as though he didn't realize he was speaking out loud. I felt my heart beat faster.

"Yes, it's always easy to see exactly how I feel at any given moment." I wondered if he could see the desire that was awakening in my stomach. I looked away from his searching gaze and reached for a fork.

"So what are your plans for the day?" I asked as though my heart wasn't pounding.

"Well, the plans I had have changed. So I guess we will just have to see what happens." He started eating again, his eyes never leaving my face.

"What were your plans?" I was fascinated by the way the light shone on his dark hair. It was so thick. I wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through it.

"I had planned on asking you to dinner. It's Valentine's day, after all. But since you are here I would really like the chance to spend the day with you." He had a vulnerable look on his face that I had never seen before, as though afraid I will say no. I had never considered that I might make him as nervous as he made me.

"Nick, I..." I stopped speaking as his hand covered mine. The heat from that touch made me shiver.

"Clare..." His words stopped as he saw the heat in my eyes. My expressive face had betrayed the desire I have tried so hard to hide. Bringing my hand to his lips he kissed the fingers one at a time, eyes glued to mine. I was helpless to do more than tighten my hand around his. He got up from the table still holding my fingers and came around to me. I stared up into his eyes. They were almost silver now. I saw a longing there that I knew was reflected in my own.