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in the morning breeze
achilles shouted
i'll catch you
and light on his feet
in the blink of an eye
approached the cheetah
the cheetah smirked at achilles
morphed into a horse
and went away
not too far
it was noon by now
achilles shouted
i'll catch you
and soon crowded the horse
the horse smirked at achilles
morphed into a cow
and went away
not too far
it was hot afternoon by now
achilles shouted
i'll catch you
and soon reached the cow
the cow mooed at achilles
morphed into a turtle
and went away
not too far
the sun was setting
achilles shouted
i'll catch you
and soon approached the turtle
the turtle smirked at achilles
morphed into a snail
and went away
not too far
it was late in the night by now
achilles sighed
i am making progress
years from now
one day i may catch you
wh,
2006-01-24
I can understand Achilles frustration of chasing after a shapeshifting animal. They are surprisingly fast no matter what shape they are in.
Your achilles here looks to be a couple cans shy of a six-pack; still, a humorous piece.
I'd like to thank all of you for your kind comments.
***
Now let me comment too, just as another reader, since the role of the author was finished the moment my poem got posted.
Achilles pronouncement is just that--the Achilles pronouncement--and not more; the Achilles statement is not what the poem itself says. The poem itself does not bother to make any statement. The conclusion is left to the reader. Thus I was surprised that the reader from Canada made a fictitious equation between the poem and Achilles, which did injustice to the poem. It is interesting to note that our sympathetic Canadian got roughly the right idea, concluding that perhaps Achilles was not too bright.
As a reader, I can say that to me the poem reminds us that we are often under a proud but ignorant illusion of making progress, while in reality, instead of going miles ahead, instead of approaching infinity, as we think that we do, we are nearly standing in place, and our progress does not lead anywhere much beyond the end of our nose. Thus to me there is certain irony in this poem. Indeed, at first Achilles is racing a cheetah but, how ironically, he ends up racing a snail!!! The final words by Achilles have to be viewed in this context.
***
Now, let me put back my author's hat on. In quite a number of my poems there is a duality and tension, even a contrast, between what the lyrical subject says (or a main character) and the trust of the poem. For instance, the lyrical subject may consider himself romantic and intelligent, while the reader may see that the lyrical subject is full of himself, something like this. The lyrical subject (or the main character) is just one more object in the poem, just like a table or a tree or a horse. Thus as a minimum, there is always distance between the poem and the lyrical subject. The lirycal subject never owns the poem.
Also, I hardly ever take sides in my poems. If there are two sides in a poem of mine then usually both are getting their share of discrete ironic treatment. Mostly, I try to provide objective items, and the rest is up to you, readers, and don't expect anything from me, don't assume anything, don't prejudice anything.
***
Thank you again, regards,
Senna Jawa
Zeno's paradox! I particularly like the fact that you have the repetetive passages like a choir refrain making the transition to the next act like a greek tragedy. The words describing the actual content are very few and it is in the repetetiveness that the actual story unfolds. Very neat.
I was somwhat disappointed with the closing. You make eternal hope (of the not too bright Achilles) the theme of your closing. What is so poignant however, is that he gives up because he perceives he can never win after the tortoises explanation. This element by which he makes illusory perception reality is what drives the parable.
Why did you change that? It lends a sweetness where the sardonic smile was.
Loved it, allusion and illusion in a dance. I had no problem with morphed, in my mind it brought up the Greek god of dreams.