Determination

Our relationship had begun just before the end of the fall semester, so this would be our first Valentine's Day together despite having been friends for our entire college careers. With just one more semester of studying and testing and applying to grad schools nationwide, we knew that we needed to make the most of our time together in case Jenni and I were to be separated by multiple states – or even multiple time zones – come September.

That thus formed the backdrop of our Valentine's Day. As seniors, we both had single dorm rooms, so we did not need to wonder how to enjoy some intimacy without scandalizing any roommates. Neither of us had any night classes for this final semester, and our earliest Wednesday class was at 11:00AM, so we could spend the entire night truly enjoying ourselves romantically if we so chose.

We so chose.

As we had agreed, I made my way across the snow-covered campus night to her dorm. As I approached her building, I happened to run into a mutual friend, Cherry, who winked at me and simply said with a wicked grin, "Don't stay up all night!"

I actually wondered if we would, as Jenni and I had yet to make love. She had confided in me about a year earlier that her one and only sexual experience had been very dissatisfying. On the night before her high school graduation, she had gone out with a number of friends for one final celebration together, and everyone had paired off. Although she had long been interested in Don, she had tried to simply fool around with him, but he had somehow talked her out of her clothes, then forced himself inside her, taking her precious virginity and climaxing so quickly that she had barely felt anything good from the experience. What had made the experience worse was that several of her friends had witnessed the entire situation.

I intended to give her a very memorable experience to override those unpleasant memories. I would not be able to give her another first time, but I wanted to at least help her to banish that terrible event from her mind.

As I slid my student identification card through the reader to open the door to the building, I pictured Jenni nude, kneeling in the near-darkness upon a furry rug close to a glowing fireplace, her smile betraying her nervousness as she looked toward me. To make love before a burning fire was a fantasy she had admitted to me a few weeks earlier, which – perhaps unbeknownst to her – gave me the knowledge of how to make this an even more enjoyable time for her.

I mounted the steps, meeting Josephine and Chuck on the second-floor landing. They held hands as the three of us chatted briefly, then they headed out to see a film together. I stood there for a moment, watching them descend the stairs, proud of them for having a relationship that had survived the trials and tribulations of both high school and college, especially as an interracial couple in a very unsympathetic town in terms of race relations.

I finally stood before the door I desperately wanted to enter. Unlike the other students on this floor, Jenni had never decorated her door, so it simply bore the room number: "304." So non-descript, which in ways was a good reflection of her personality. Jenni was not someone a stranger would pass on the sidewalk and remember three seconds later. She could be standing in the middle of a boxing ring, well before the fight began, yet no one would take notice of her. She had a quiet voice, sweet and melodic. Dressing casually yet conservatively, not many people would look at her twice. And she had relatively few friends on campus, because after her experience with Don, she found it very hard to trust anyone, especially guys.

And that was why it was a true honor to be the one knocking upon the plain-looking door, especially on this particular night.

"It's open." I barely heard her voice permeate the wood. With a deep breath to quell my slight nervousness, I opened the door, stepping into the near-darkness within.

In the small dorm room, only a single candle upon her desk provided any light. Across the small space from her desk was the single bed, upon which Jenni and I had often cuddled. This time, Jenni sat upon the bed wearing a beautiful white dress with a lacy neckline and similar hem just above the knees. A wide black belt made her hips a little more pronounced. Her legs were clad in white, whether from pantyhose or stockings I could not tell. She finished the outfit with white low heels, her usual tiny hoop earrings, and her straight brown hair flowing over her shoulders and brushing the tops of her breasts. If she wore any make-up, it was very light and difficult to see in the candlelight.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she said softly with a smile as I closed and locked the door. When I turned around, she stood before me, her arms spread wide. Even though I still wore my backpack, we embraced, sharing a long hug interrupted only by an occasional kiss.

At last, I stepped back, holding her at arm's length by the shoulders. In the dim candlelight, I gazed deep into her eyes. "I just want you to know... I won't do anything you don't want me to do, okay?"

"I know," Jenni replied, her voice even softer than usual, her eyes never wavering. "I trust you, immensely, more than I've trusted anyone outside my immediate family."

I released my girlfriend and removed the backpack, setting it on the floor in front of her closet door. "Why did you bring that?" she asked.

"You'll see," I replied, slipping out of my coat and hanging it on a hook embedded in the wall.

"Do you want to exchange presents first or cuddle first?" she asked, her tone making me think she was hinting at something which was not included in the vocalized options.

"Your choice," I replied. "As far as I am concerned, this night is all about you."

Jenni took my hand and towed me to her bed. She sat again, motioning for me to sit beside her. I did, and then, as if we were sharing the same mind, we reached for each other, our lips joining as our hands held each other's head in place. Somehow, I was able to remain the gentleman, my hands remaining upon the socially-acceptable places of her body instead of gravitating toward her chest or attempting to reach up underneath her dress. Her tongue danced with mine, first in my mouth, then in hers, as she slowly melted, leaning against me, her breasts pressing against me and drawing the focus of my mind away from her lips and her tongue and her exploring hands.

In the hallway, I heard a pair of girls pass by, chatting loudly. Outside, an impatient driver in the parking lot below blared a car horn several times. But the best sound was Jenni's quiet breath as she pulled away, our lips finally parting so she could rest her head upon my shoulder for a moment.

The car horn silenced and the noisy student conversation having faded away, my girlfriend extricated herself from my hold and stood beside the bed, looking down upon me with a smile and a twinkle in her eye. She turned and went to the small portable CD player with the portable plug-in speakers, and moments later, the opening notes of a violin solo reached my ears.

"Dance with me?" she asked quietly, her arms outstretched toward me. I certainly could not refuse, even though I am admittedly a lousy dancer, and when the violin solo ended perhaps ten minutes later, I had proudly succeeded in not stepping on her toes. The dance ended with a kiss which lasted well into the next piece, a violin-piano duet.

"I think the presents are in order now," Jenni whispered, resting her head against my chest, "although I really don't want to tear my ear away from your heartbeat."

"Then don't," I replied, cradling her head to my chest. "I definitely don't mind standing here like this...or would you prefer I pull your head into my chest so your ear is pressed directly against my heart?"

She giggled, a melodic sound that I definitely enjoyed hearing.

"Then again, I wouldn't mind having my head pressed against your chest, either."

She laughed outright, giving my arm a playful punch as she pulled away from me. Jenni motioned for me to sit on the bed and was still laughing as I obeyed with a smile on my face. She opened a drawer of her desk and retrieved what appeared to be a framed photo. When she handed it to me, I saw that it was not just any framed photo: It was a picture of us sitting by a small campfire, and my mind instantly was transported back to that weekend...

It was a weekend of camping and canoeing, a much-needed break near the end of the spring semester, before the "cramming season" began in earnest. Wearing just shorts and sandals, I sat on a large rock, using a long, thick stick to maneuver a burning log, while, wearing a swimsuit with a higher-than-usual neckline, Jenni had fallen asleep on my shoulder and looked as peaceful and as beautiful as a newborn babe. While certainly unplanned when our friend Alison had taken the picture, an eight-point buck meandered through the background of the shot.

"That was the weekend that I knew you were special," Jenni said softly, sitting beside me with an arm around my shoulders. "Our second semester was about to end, and I just simply 'knew' that eventually, you and I would become much closer. I wish it had happened sooner, but I'm glad it finally did."

"That makes three of us," I replied quietly, kissing her lips as she giggled at my honest joke. "Thank you."

Images of Jenni from that weekend flashed through my mind: Jenni swimming in the river, Jenni's frightened expression during one of Brad's ghost stories, Jenni concentrating heavily as she scrutinized her hand during a Euchre game, Jenni's silhouette against the canvas of her tent as she changed clothes one night...

"I suppose that it's only fair that I give you your present," I said, to which she nodded her agreement. I went to the backpack to put away the framed photo and retrieve her gift, hiding it behind my back when I returned to her to increase the anticipation.

"You've talked about this before," I said, "and I was actually able to find it."

As soon as I presented the jar of Nutella, Jenni's eyes grew big in disbelief, then she jumped up to hug me tightly, the jar pressed between us. "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!"

"Now I'm really glad I could find Nutella for you!"

The kiss was intense, providing a nice counterpoint to the quiet, shy, reserved college girl most people on campus knew. Of course, I was not about to complain.

As Jenni stepped away to put the Nutella atop her dresser, however, she seemed to slip back into the quiet, shy, reserved college girl persona. I thought it was time, and returned to the backpack, withdrawing a CD sleeve and pulling out the disc within.

"What is that?"

"You'll see."

I turned on her small TV, which was fortunately already set to AV, then turned on the tiny DVD player. A few moments later, the disc began to play... and a roaring fireplace was displayed on the screen.

"Where did you get this?" Jenni asked, the smile evident in her voice.

I returned to my girlfriend, taking her into my arms again. "Someone posted online a thirty-minute file of a camera pointed at a fireplace. It was fortunately in a format that I could turn into a VideoCD, so I did. I remembered that you had always wanted to have a fireplace, so I brought it with me. It's not much, but at least it's a start for your dream."

We stood there for a long time, the music finally ending. The silence was quite comfortable: just two lovers holding each other in the light of a fireplace.

The silence was broken again, although not by loud students in the hallway or a blaring car horn. From one of the nearby dorm rooms, a sudden feminine screech of carnal desire assaulted our ears. That sound was followed by several others, shorter in duration and not quite as loud, until that lucky coed's sounds faded away as she recovered from her bliss. And I could tell from her hold upon me that Jenni was nervous once more.

"As I said," I reassured her, stroking her hair, "we won't do anything you don't want to do. I'm not expecting anything tonight other than simply enjoying some quiet time with you."

She stepped away, took my hand, and led me to the bed. As she stretched out on the bed, I sat beside her and removed my shoes, then stretched out alongside her, taking her in my arms and simply holding her, comforting her as I could still sense her nervousness.

Amazingly, and a bit to my embarrassment, I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes again, the candle had been extinguished, the only light coming from the false fireplace. Jenni was upon me, planting gentle kisses all over my face, and even before I was fully awake, I could feel a telltale stirring within my slacks.

"I could get used to waking up like this," I murmured, my arms enveloping my girlfriend. She simply continued to pepper my face with kisses, her hands holding my head in place. Her breath was warm upon my face, her lips seemingly as soft as a feather.

At last, I guided Jenni's lips toward mine. Our kiss was languid, heartfelt. The light and the sounds of the false fireplace seemed to be the perfect backdrop to create the romantic atmosphere dedicated to this night, to this young woman upon me. And when her lips finally separated from mine, she kissed her way toward my ear before whispering breathily:

"I want to make love to you."

That one sentence, full of desire and devotion, brought me to full hard throbbing erection. Jenni could feel it, for she rocked gently along my length. "I want you inside me," she whispered, the tone of her voice starting to change, signaling her heightening arousal.

I let her slip from my grasp as she slowly slid off me, stepping onto the floor. I rose to sit on the bed and my hands grasped her by the waist, pulling her to me, my lips kissing each breast in turn as I reached toward her belt. I looked up into the eyes I had admired since we had first met, and saw a determination I had rarely seen from Jenni previously.

That was when I realized that by giving herself to me, she was driving away her bad memories of Don.

The wide black belt removed, I held it for a moment, checking her eyes to ensure she truly wanted to go forward with this, and her determination only grew. Setting the belt on the bed, I stood before her, taking my girlfriend in my arms and kissing her with an intensity which surprised even me. I definitely loved her, but now her determination had also become my own.

Reaching upward, I located the zipper. We continued to kiss as the zipper was lowered, opening her to the act ahead. Jenni whimpered into my mouth, pressing herself against the bulge in my slacks, reaching for my belt. We separated long enough for her to remove the belt and set it beside hers upon the bed, then she kissed me again with even greater need, greater determination.

In my mind's eye, I pictured Jenni naked save for a black leather collar, kneeling submissively before me, her eyes looking intently up at me with love, her lips stretched obscenely as I filled her mouth and knocked at her throat. But I quickly banished that image, reminding myself that this night was entirely about her.

Breathless, Jenni stepped back and turned around. Reaching for her chest, I used her breasts as leverage to pull her back against me. As I fondled her chest, she slithered slowly, sensuously against me, revealing a side of Jenni I had long suspected was deep within her but had never seen. But when I nudged her away, she did not complain, especially when my hands slid to her shoulders and began to remove the garment which protected the majority of her skin from my admiring gaze.

Seemingly in slow motion, the beautiful white dress descended toward the floor, revealing the body I would soon enter for the very first time. She wore a white bra and panty with white stockings attached to a garter belt, and she still wore her white low heels. Still she slithered against me, her fingers interlaced behind my neck, as if offering her body to my exploring hands.

By instinct, my hands went to her back to unclasp her bra, but I was met with a surprise: Jenni was wearing a front-hook bra. I smiled at that, at her foresight, at her thoughtfulness, then reached around her to reach her breasts from their confinement.

Reaching up, I removed her hands from behind my neck, and sat again. Turning her around, I looked into my girlfriend's eyes, noting the sparkles as I finally slipped the bra straps from her shoulders, allowing the garment to flutter to the floor. As if reading my mind, she reached for my head, cradling me as my mouth began to work at her right breast, gently sucking and nibbling and licking.

I slipped a hand between Jenni's thighs, and noted a delightful change. I had fingered her a few times before, but I could tell that, for the first time, she was clean-shaven between her legs. I smiled around her nipple as I tugged it with my teeth, eliciting a soft hiss from above as my hands lowered the now-cut panty to provide myself with a clear, unobstructed path to the weeping womanhood.

Jenni rocked against my hand as I gently stroked her, bringing forth more of her liquid love and applying it lovingly to her lower lips. My mouth meandered to the opposite breast, renewing its work as soft sounds of delight and desire spilled forth from her upper lips. When I at last penetrated her body with a single finger, her breath caught audibly, and she stiffened for just a heartbeat before moving against my cupped hand once again.

She squealed as I bit down on her nipple, crushing it between my teeth. I quickly released the hardened nub, soothing it with my lips and my tongue as she moved a little more insistently against my hand, the penetrating finger exploring every millimeter of her wet passage. For just a moment, I removed the finger, then quickly thrust a pair up inside her, my ears savoring Jenni's loud gasp as she clutched my head to her breast.

Ruthlessly, I assaulted the very willing woman before me. My free hand flat against her lower spine to hold her somewhat in place, I masturbated her furiously. Tearing my mouth from her chest, I looked up at her beautiful face, watching raptly as hard, heavy, loud breaths passed between her wide-parted lips, her eyes clamped shut. And when her climax finally claimed her, she ceased breathing for several long, mesmerizing seconds, her eyes suddenly wide open yet clearly unable to see anything but stars. I bit a nipple again, and she cried out like a siren, her body trembling, her legs wobbling against mine, then she at last sagged against me, clutching me as if I was attempting to save her from drowning in a turbulent sea.

Leaning backward, I pulled Jenni down upon me, then rolled us both so I was atop her. She was still breathing rather heavily, her eyes half-open as I lifted myself up, gently stroking a breast as I stood. I removed her panty, leaving her in garter belt, stockings, and heels.

"Please," Jenni whispered, "now."

In the light of the false fireplace, I disrobed before her for the first time, our eyes locked the entire time. And when I was fully nude at last, I stepped up between her legs and pressed the tip of my manhood against her sex.

"I love you, Jenni," I said softly, "and I always will."

She reached for my hips, and slowly pulled me into her hot, willing body. Her not-so-quiet moan was lengthy and seductive, her facial expression a mixture of pleasure and slight discomfort as her wet passage was being pried apart for the first time in a long time. She clasped around me several times, providing me with additional delight as I slowly filled her, impaled her, until I was at last fully sheathed inside her.

With my hands on her hips, I began to slowly move within her. "Yes," she whispered, "this is so right."