Finding Nonny

The gray walls of the Middlesex Hospital waiting room looked especially dingy in the waning light of late afternoon. Nine year old Silver Cordin and her father had waited patiently for over an hour and were getting anxious. Lines of worry were etched on Steve Cordin's face, as he knew the doctor's news could not possibly be good. Silver tried to read her favorite book, but just couldn't concentrate. All she knew was that her beloved Nonny, Rose Bauer, was very sick, and that sole thought paralyzed her with fright. Silver couldn't imagine life without her grandmother. Since her mother had passed away suddenly three years ago, there was only her, her father, and Nonny. Silver wiped away a tear with a sodden handkerchief as the door suddenly opened.

Dr. Menaker, an imposing six foot column, strode into the tiny room, trying to appear calm and collected. He sat down next to Steve Cordin, placing a wizened hand on his shoulder.

"I'm terribly sorry, but your mother has had a minor stroke. She can talk, but not very well. Her left side is especially weak. Because of her Alzeimer's, it may take her longer to recover. And there is always a chance she could get more strokes."

"Is she... Will she..." Steve was having difficulty getting the words out.

"She's not in any immediate danger and should be able to go home in a few days. We're increasing her high blood pressure medication which will reduce the chance of future strokes. Of course, she will have to be watched very carefully."

Steve let out a loud sigh. It had been a downhill battle ever since his eighty year old mother had been diagnosed with early Alzeimer's a year ago. Once a fiercly independent woman, he had been forced to sell her house and move her 60 miles closer into his in-law apartment, dreading the day when a nursing home would loom in the horizon. Now it seemed as though that time was ever closer. He cradled Silver in his arms, rocking her gently.

"It's going to be all right Silv...she'll get better."

"I know, it just hurts so much right now."

Father and daughter were united as one as time stood still. In the distance a siren blaring jolted them back into reality. It was going to be a long night...

**********************************

The next three weeks were a whirlwind as Rose slowly but surely made progress. Her speech returned to a degree, although she appeared to have lost some place names entirely. Silver constantly needed to remind her what they were doing, where they were going, and who was going to be there. One fun activity they shared every day was throwing a small bright yellow ball back and forth. The late December weather had cooperated, with brisk days and cool nights. Silver was especially looking forward to Christmas, as that day was not only her birthday, but Nonny's as well. It was just part of the special bond between them, along with the fact they both played piano, loved black raspberry ice cream, and long walks in the woods.

"Higher, Nonny, higher!" Silver squealed with delight. The yellow ball was a mere blur against a brilliant blue sky. Rose put out her trembling, wrinkled hands and watched in confusion as the ball dropped a few feet away.

"Close, very close!" Silver tried to be as encouraging as possible, not knowing how many more good days her Nonny would have.

"Throw it higher, I can get it!"

Rose picked up the ball awkwardly. She tried to propel it toward Silver, but the yellow projectile had other ideas, as it landed out of sight in their neighbor's woods.

"Oh-Oh-" Rose hesitated. "I'm sorry..."

Silver was about to say "no big deal!" when she heard her father calling them to dinner.

"We'll find it tomorrow Nonny...that was a good game."

Rose's face was a curious mixture of perplexity and dread. Was it a good game? What were they playing? And that little girl...she had forgotten her name...

Later that evening, Rose suddenly awoke with a start. The ball...she had to get the ball. In her confused state, she got dressed, thinking it was almost dawn. Putting on an old pair of sneakers, she opened the separate entrance to her apartment. It was inky black outside, but not terribly cold. Totally forgetting which way the ball was, Rose walked down the street. She was not familiar with the neighborhood, and quickly became totally disoriented.

Rose walked for what seemed like hours until the sky lightened almost imperceptively. The silhouette of a tall steeple could be seen against fading stars. It appeared to be a church of some sort, and Rose climbed a short staircase to a massive wooden door. To her delight, it opened with little trouble, and she found herself in a chapel with hundreds of burning candles. As the sky slowly lightened, delicate stained glass scenes came to life. To her left, the Virgin Mary cradling Jesus in vivid blues and pinks. To her right, a massive cross flanked by white lilies. Rose gasped as each scene blended into the next, overwhelmed by the ethereal beauty.

As the full light of day flooded the cozy church, Rose kneeled in one of the pews, praying she would find the ball. The squeak of a door made her sit up. Near a far altar, a nun slowly made her way toward her. She was holding a bible, and smiling serenely.

"Welcome...I'm Sister Betrille."

Rose still felt very confused "But..I don't have a sister."

Sister Betrille grinned warmly "I'm everyone's sister."

"Oh....have you seen a yellow ball?"

Sister Betrille suddenly understood, nodding in sympathy.

"There are no balls here...where did you lose it?"

"I have to bring it back to this little girl...she's my little girl..."

"What's her name?"

"I can't..I can't know" Rose knew she wasn't speaking properly but was unable to control it.

"I see"....Sister Betrille's face darkened, but only for an instant. "Let us pray."

Sister Betrille began to read her bible in hushed tones. Rose put her head in her hands and tried to clear her mind. Memories from early childhood began to creep in her consciousness, like water trickling from a fountain...

*********************************

"Nice Scales, Rose, good for you!"

Mrs. Adinolfi, her piano teacher of the last 5 years grinned like a Cheshire Cat. She had been trying to get Rose to play scales evenly for months now, and her constant harping was finally paying off.

"Thanks!" Rose hardly ever heard Mrs. Adinolfi say anything good about her playing, so basked in the compliment.

"Now, try to play them a little faster!"

"I..I...can't." Rose as a child had no confidence at all, that was to come later in life.

"Of course you can, now do it!" Mrs. Adinolfi banged the piano to punctuate her command.

Rose tried the scales a little faster, but soon made a mistake and had to start again. After five attempts, she stopped and looked at Mrs. Adinolfi for sympathy.

"What is the matter with you? You told me you practiced!"

"I-I did practice." Rose's hands began to shake.

"No you did not, I can always tell!" Mrs. Adinolfi looked absolutely furious.

As Rose cowered in fear, the piano suddenly grew bigger and more foreboding. Long black arms wrapped around her as the keys played a spooky song all by themselves. Rose screamed and screamed as the piano sucked the life out of her, while Mrs. Adinolfi laughed hysterically in the background...

*****************************

"I did practice, I did practice!"

Rose awoke suddenly and once more was in the welcoming church. There was no sign of Sister Betrille, and only a bible on the floor betrayed her former presence. In the distance, she could hear a horn honking insistently.

"Last call to the retreat!" a harsh male voice echoed beyond the door.

Rose got up quickly. She was suddenly very hungry and perhaps this bus could take her to a restaurant. As she emerged into the mid morning light, she could see Sister Betrille waving parishioners off as they boarded a small van. Rose got in line, oblivious to the surprised faces around her. When she approached Sister Betrille, her new found friend once more smiled sweetly.

"Good luck...I hope you find your little girl."

"But..where am I...? Rose's voice wavered as she was pushed into the van by a large man behind her.

"Towards God." Sister Betrille waved to her and was soon out of sight.

The van was hot and no one appeared to be looking at her as she took a seat near the driver. One hour faded into the next as groups of people sang Amazing Grace and Kum-By-Yah. Finally, the overheated vehicle stopped at a small rest area. The motley crew went into a small Greasy Spoon where a hearty breakfast was being served. No one sat next to her, but Rose didn't care. She gulped down her orange juice and pancakes as if her life depended on it. As a hat was passed around for donations, Rose suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

Excusing herself to noone in particular, she went into the ladies room and locked herself into a stall. Waiting for what seemed an eternity, Rose searched her pockets for the occasional quarter she kept there. Nothing came up, and she soon realized she had no money at all. That wasn't so bad, she could go to the bank and take some more out. But where was the bank? Rose went back into the restaurant and was surprised to see the parishoners had left. She went up to a tired looking waitress who appeared to be propped up by the graffiti ridden wall.

"Do you know where the bank is?"

"What bank?"

"Uh...it has a drive-up"

The bemused young girl giggled. "Don't they all?"

"I don't know"...Rose stumbled.

"Up the road a couple of miles is the town of Canaan. There are a couple of banks there."

"Oh...thanks."

Rose walked out of the Greasy Spoon, astonished that the van she had been riding on was nowhere in sight. She was very tired from hiking overnight, yet was determined to find that little girl's ball. At a snail's pace, Rose proceeded toward Canaan. The short December day passed by quickly, and she had just reached the outskirts of the small country village as beautiful reds and yellows shot across the sky. Feeling very woozy and aware of a persistent ringing sound in her ears, Rose reached a bright red farmhouse that appeared to be abandoned. Around the back was a small shed with a cracked door partially ajar. Rose was easily able to push the fragile door completely open. In the decaying light, she could barely make out various tools hanging on the wall and a pile of blankets on the floor. Vaguely aware of the smell of gas and hay combined, Rose collapsed on the blankets, immediately falling into a deep sleep.

*********************************

Steve Cordin hugged Silver gently as they waited in the police station for any news. Rose had never been gone for this long, and they were both extremely worried. Had someone kidnapped her? Was she walking around in the streets somewhere, completely disoriented? Steve was mad at himself for not installing the extra bolts that would have made it harder for his mother to let herself out. Somehow, he could just not bring himself to do it, she had never strayed before. He also was extremely concerned that his mother did not have her various medications with her, as it was vital that she take them every day. As for Silver, she had cried herself to sleep and prayed ever since she had brought Nonny her breakfast and discovered she was gone. Christmas was only a couple of days away and she couldn't imagine celebrating it without her grandmother. Maybe, just maybe, if she imagined Nonny safe and sound it would work. Closing her eyes tightly shut, Silver chanted softly "Nonny will be all right, Nonny will be all right" until she fell asleep in her father's arms...

****************************

Rose awoke with a start. She momentarily forgot where she was, expecting the beautiful church and stained glass windows. As the pungent smell of freshly mown grass assailed her nostrils, she remembered finding the lone farmhouse. Rose was once more aware of a ringing in her ears as she pushed her way out of the cold shed. In the distance, she eyed what appeared to be a large warehouse. A group of elderly women were lined up at the far end, smoking up a storm. Rose watched the pretty patterns the curving smoke made as she slowly made her way to the crowd. As she reached the end of the line, an enormous woman turned around and extended her hand.

"Hi, I'm Lottie, are you new?"

"Uh...I'm looking for a ball."

Lottie cackled like two dozen hens laying two dozen eggs. "You ARE new."

"I guess so," Rose didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry, it's easy. Bottles come along a belt, and you just twist the caps to make sure they are tight."

"Soda bottles?" Rose tried to hide her confusion.

"Yeah, what did you expect, fine wine?" Lottie cackled even more as her breasts rose and fell like a distant mountain range. Rose found herself being handed a smock and a small blue cap. Putting them on awkwardly, she followed the women to a seemingly endless conveyer belt. In the distance, she could see hundreds of bottles coming toward her at a relatively fast pace. When the first of them reached her spot, Rose was able to tighten the caps with little difficulty. Then she became disoriented, and somehow thought she had to take the caps off. This presented a new difficulty, as she could not keep all the caps in her hand. They fell to the ground at periodic intervals, pinging and ponging against the din of the factory. Suddenly, a stentorian voice penetrated the racket.

"You there...what the hell are you doing?"

An evil looking man with a dirty undershirt leered at Rose, who was so startled she dropped the bottle she was holding. It fell to the cement floor with a resounding smash, as glass shards flew everywhere.

"Get out! You're fired!"

The evil man pointed to the door as Rose began to run wildly. A few women careened after her but were called back by the grimy taskmaster. Rose huffed and puffed as she traveled down the long driveway away from the warehouse. She jogged awkwardly in various directions, finally reaching a remote country road. Rose knew she couldn't go on much longer. Her cheeks were bright red and her heart was pounding wildly. As she came to a junction of two dirt roads, a man sitting at a flower stand gestured to her wildly.

"Ah, Mary Ann, there you are, I was getting nervous."

"Mary Ann?" Rose faltered.

"Mary Ellen, whatever, you're late for your shift!"

"My shift"...Rose repeated, completely baffled.

"You can leave at 5 o'clock. Be careful with the money box."

Rose then noticed a small sign above the stand "Flowers...only $10.00". She sat down on a rickety chair as her predecessor hopped on a bicycle and rode away. Various vases of half opened flowers swayed in the stiff wind, although the day was surprisingly warm for early winter. Rose fingered each blossom with her bony fingers, enraptured by the seemingly endless array of colors and forms. She seemed indifferent with her one sale of the day, although that may have been because the young couple had made a hasty exit when she asked them if they had seen a yellow ball.

When darkness began to descend, Rose took the money box with the ten dollar bill in it and slowly made her way down the lonely dirt road. Exhausted and extremely hungry, she barely moved, swaying back and forth as she maintained a snail's pace. The ringing in her ears had gotten worse and was now accompanied by a peculiar hissing sound that got louder and louder. Rose stumbled to the ground as she lost muscle tone. The last thing to enter her consciousness was the fleeting image of Silver's beautiful face. Then she passed out...

*****************************

"You're drunk!! You're friggin drunk!"

The three thugs shared their last bottle of beer as they made their way down the dark country lane. It was well past midnight and they had been drowning their sorrows in alcohol all night.

"Yeah, well you're wasted too, we're all wasted!"

The three twenty year olds pushed and shoved themselves along as they belched obscenely. When they reached Rose's prone form, the shiny money box was the first thing that caught their eye.

"Looks like someone else had too much merry!"

The trio took the money box and shook it open. Retrieving the ten dollar bill as it fluttered to the ground, they groaned in disgust.

"Ten bucks...big deal!"

At that point Rose came to and moaned quietly.

"Holy crap! She's waking up!"

"Push her in the ditch!"

"Yeah, in the ditch! No one will ever find her!"

The three thugs gave Rose one big push with their collective feet, chuckling as her body rolled over rocks gaining speed down the steep grade. She finally came to rest with a loud thud against a decaying log. Blood trickled from her mouth as the thugs whooped with delight. Rose would have been found months later were it not for the fact that one of the trio bragged to his girlfriend about the dirty deed the next morning. Her mother overheard the conversation, and called 911...

*******************************

"You're very lucky she's alive!"

Dr. Menaker tried to look compassionate as Steve Cordin and his daughter cried in each others' arms.

"We won't know for a couple of days if the second stroke affected her speech. It's going to take a while for her bruises to heal as well. She had quite a nasty fall."

Dr. Menaker knew that Rose hadn't stumbled in the ditch but couldn't bring himself to tell Steve and Silver the true story...yet.

"Is she conscious?" Steve's voice was a tremulous whisper.

"Not yet...perhaps she will respond to Silver."

Steve looked at his daughter with the utmost poignancy.

"Nonny's asleep and she won't wake up."

Silver looked frightened, but had to see her Nonny, even if she couldn't talk.

"I'll be right behind you." Steve assured his daughter.

Silver entered the forbidding intensive care room slowly. Rose was attached to numerous machines and was so covered with bandages she was barely recognizable.

"Hi, Nonny. It's Silver. I'm here..."

Only the whirring and beeping of metallic machines could be heard in response.

"Wake up Nonny, wake up..."

Rose stirred slightly. She was having a vivid dream. In it, she was once more in the lovely church with the stained glass windows. The pews were full of people from her long life, even the strident Mrs. Adinolfi. Sister Betrille walked in solemnly, holding a large bible. Then, six pallbearers slowly carried a large casket...HER casket. In the front row, she could see Silver, bawling her eyes out. But something was terribly wrong... "I'm not dead" Her dream began to overlap with reality. "I'm not dead!" I'M NOT" "I'M..."

"She's stirring! She's coming to!" Silver jumped up and down in excitement!

"I'm-I-I" Rose tried to get some words out. "Bawl..fown bawl."

"I found the ball Nonny, it's right here."

Silver had brought the brilliant yellow orb along, hoping it would encourage her Nonny to talk.

Rose opened her eyes a crack. She made out a face, someone's face.

"Siii...vvaa." she moaned.

"Yes, it's Silver. I'm right here."

"Lovv...yooooo."

"I love you, too, Nonny!"

In the background, a teary eyed Steve shook hands with Dr. Menaker, who was having great difficulty remaining composed himself.

"She already has her speech back." the tall medicine man nodded and smiled.

In the hallway, the sounds of merrymaking could be heard in the distance.

"Yo-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!"

"It's Santa Claus!" Silver could barely contain her excitement.

"Santa Claus?" Dr. Menaker's jaw dropped. "Well I'll be... it IS Santa Claus!"

With that, the jolly man in red entered the room with a large bag draped over his shoulder.

"And who do we have here?" He gestured to Rose and Silver.

"That's my Nonny! She had a bad fall, but she's going to be O.K.! And I'm Silver. It's my birthday today!"